Help about suicide

Posted , 5 users are following.

I’ve been in a long distance relationship with this girl for almost 7 months now and we would talk a lot and she would always seem happy to me.

A few months ago she told me that she was depressed and had been having suicidal thoughts since she was 10 (she is 18) and she has attempted suicide 3 times already. I am the first person she had actually told about it and since we have been dating there has been a few times where she has come close to it but I’ve talked her out of it.  Ive asked her to talk to her parents because she lives so far away from me and I can get on a flight and meet with her because I’m broke. 

I’m in abit of a situation and I need advice. I really do love this girl and she means the world to me but she had told me that one day I might wake up and she will be gone and it’s really worried me. I’ve asked her to see a doctor, therapist, her pastor and even her parents but she won’t go. It seems like she has her mind made up that one day she is gonna end her life.

I’ve told her that when we meet up that it will be different and that I will make her happy and forget about all of the thoughts but she said that after 2 weeks I’ll go back to the same miserable life and I don’t wanna meet because you will be even sadder if we do meet and I do it.

Her parents are really strict and don’t know that we are even dating so it’s not like we can just meet up whenever. Recently I’ve  been thinking would it be best if I sent her parents a message on Facebook so that they no and yes it would mean that we are over but I’d rather she was alive than date her if it came to that. I suggest maybe doing this to help her but she said her parents will only shout and drag her to church and only encourage it for her.  She told me that if she decided not to do it and we stayed together deep down she would never be happy and always have the thoughts there.

I just need advice from anyone on here please because I really love this girl and if she took her life I might end up doing the same. I wouldn’t be able to live with knowing I couldn’t help her.

1 like, 9 replies

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Marcus

    If you know the Parents you could let them know what their daughter is planning although you will be going against your Girlfriends Wishes, this may drive your Girlfriend away from you.

    Sometimes the problem may be, the talking regards Her Suicide may have something to do with the discussion of this final act could now become a habit and when She mentions the Act it is to do with getting a rise from you, the new intention and the happenings in the past has been caused by something you do not know about.

    The discussion with Parents in confidence may draw some light on the reasons why, The Attempts ?

    She is eighteen and in the UK She is an Adult, sad to say there is little you can do to prevent a new attempt. You can ask Her to phone NHS Information Line on Tel 111 if she feels in danger because of this Depression. If She O/Ds She can also phone Emergency, Ambulance Tel 999.

    Personally She may be getting some comfort, discussing Suicide, you need to be strong, firm and kind to help her

    Do you feel you could arrange taking Her to the GP to discuss this problem. Arranging a treatment plan may also help they need to find out the reasons true or fake. If in danger there are pathways to a Section that may be a way forward

    BOB

     

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    • Posted

      I’m from the uk and she is currently living in LA. We had a deep convo about it and at first she wasn’t sure about what was causing it. After we talked we figured this out and it was because she was alone.

      At aged 10 she moved from Iran to LA and it was so difficult for her. She had to learn a new language on her own she was failing all of her classes etc. Every night she came home she said she’d would sit and wait on the couch for 5 hours and just sit and her thoughts until her parents came home from working their two jobs. 

      If I did send them a message I wouldn’t get a response there they are so against boys with her it’s worrying. We FaceTimed once and get Dad came home unexpected and snatched her phone I was lucky enough to hang up before he could see she was talking to. I’ll speak to her again with some of the stuff you suggested thank you!

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  • Posted

    Firstly what a considerate guy

    Responsible and compassionate 

    Ok her parents may not like you or what you are going to tell them 

    They will be shocked and disturbed but will be grateful eventually to fully understand their daughters concerns 

    Even if your relationship as boyfriend girlfriend ends hopefully one day she will see that to save her you were willing to lose her 

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  • Posted

    It sounds like her parents aren’t going to be any help, maybe suggest she seeks counseling at school if she’s still in high school, there’s also free group therapy, help her reach out to those therapy groups. Even churches have them.

    Also I’d advise not giving her the promise that you’ll meet her and you’ll fix her depression/make her forget about her sadness... that’s not how it works. You alone can’t fix her or anyone who’s feeling this way because people can only help them selves if they decide to treat it. Don’t feel bad if you’re being the best bf+friend you can be yet she’s still depressed, don’t worry- it’s not because of you. She needs therapy and to work on herself. Good luck! I hope she’s gets help and recovers soon

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    • Posted

      Hi Anna

      I mentioned the school to her and she said that the school keeps health records of everything and the nurse would have to forward it to her parents and if she asked for it not to be to police we be contacted incase there was some sort of abuse going on 

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    • Posted

      Hi Marcus 

      Is there a big age difference between you  and your girlfriend 

      Is there a big distance geographically 

      Why do you think her parents don’t want her to have a boyfriend 

      I’m just curious 

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    • Posted

      We are both 18

      I’m from N.Ireland and she is from Los Angeles 

      They are just over protective of her. They make her have this app on her phone so they no where she is at all times

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  • Posted

    Shes 18 though, an adult, she should ask the counselor what kinds of things she’d have to report to her parents (if any, because again she’s 18 so I’m confused why they would do that in the first place- in my school they never did. & I talked about cutting, abusive dad, depression.. and that was when I was 15- perhaps it’s different in her state idk) so she’s knows what to avoid when talking to her. 

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    • Posted

      I think it’s just she dosent have the confidence to see anyone. She said if there was a way to even take anti depressants should would but in Los Angeles I don’t think she can get them without seeing a doctor. 
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