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Help!! Dealing with partner who smokes weed.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hope3578
Hope3578

I have been with my partner for almost 10 years. Around 6 years ago he started smoking weed again ( he did before he met me ) we have a 7 and 5 year old and over the past 3-4 years his smoking has increased significantly. He smokes as soon as he comes home from work, and then again around 8pm and again around 11-12pm. I have noticed his patience is much thinner now and he’s much more angry without it. He has allowed his teeth to get so bad through poor eating, smoking and just generally not taking care of himself. Now I do really care about him and he is a great dad to a certain extent ( what I mean is I don’t see how anyone can be the best parent they can be whilst battling an addiction) but I just don’t have any feelings for him in a sexual way or emotionally. Now he knows all of this, and I think him knowing I’m so close to leaving is making him worse. He’s made some small steps to get help with his dental hygiene but not enough over the past 2-3 years. He’s been to the dentist twice. No work done just an assessment. Now I have become quite poorly recently and been diagnosed with severe anxiety. It came after battling a few different illnesses back to back and dealing with lots of stress this year. I’m now on antidepressants because of everything and think that his addiction has played some part in triggering all of this. 

Now my children love there dad, but he’s not exactly being the best role model atm. I think I’m ready to leave even though I will be loosing a lot ( we have a complicated home situation) but I just think we have grown so far apart. I have been studying and getting a new career and becoming more ambitious and he’s going backwards. I feel like he’s holding me back from a lot of things. We don’t socialise together and I don’t even fancy him anymore. 

Is there anyone who has been through this before? I am stuck and don’t know what to do?

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • danielddz
    danielddz Hope3578

    Posted

    If smoking weed is your biggest problem... there’s a lot worse things in this world. It does a lot to help some people manage a variety of things .
    • Hope3578
      Hope3578 danielddz

      Posted

      No the smoking weed is not the biggest problem. However it is the root of many others. I have no problem with the occasional use of smoking weed. But it’s a problem because it’s an addiction now and has caused lots of behavioural changes in my partner. I have been trying to support him for many years, but he just doesn’t want to help himself it seems. This is not the man I fell in love with. 
    • danielddz
      danielddz Hope3578

      Posted

      Marijuana should typically mellow a person out. If I could smoke it, I would. It’s been known to help anxiety (although rarely can cause it)... it’s much more dangerous to drink or take up another vice. I don’t know his character but I doubt you can attribute it to marijuana use. 

  • borderriever
    borderriever Hope3578

    Posted

    Sarah

    You have some decisions to make regards your husbands addiction and your Children. When it comes to addiction this will need approaching with firmness and understanding  Your first action needs you to push hard for Him to see His GP. Dental health is important, the problem here is some drugs effect the teeth so He needs treatment. Explain how you feel and any actions you may take if He fails to get His health in order.

    You say you have little or no interest in this Man if that is the case I would advise you discuss your needs with a solicitor. Your most important problem is your children. If you feel they are in any danger 

    Make an appointment with your GP and see if your GP can give support as your sort out life choices

    BOB

    • Hope3578
      Hope3578 borderriever

      Posted

      Thanks bob

      I don’t think they are in danger at all. I just feel like I don’t want to bring them up in the home where drugs or alcohol for that matter is used in excess because it’s not healthy. 

      We are not married, we do not own a home. I have asked him to see the doctor but he refuses and says he can stop whenever he wants . Trouble is we both know he can’t because if he could he would have done so a long time ago. 

      It’s abteally big shame that our relationship has ended up this way, but I think It’s best that I just look into separating even if it will cause him more distress. I have to start thinking of myself and more importantly my children.  Thank you for your reply. 

    • borderriever
      borderriever Hope3578

      Posted

      Sarah

      Good luck on any decisions you take, if you need us we are here for you.

      BOB

       

  • Stacey.baby
    Stacey.baby Hope3578

    Posted

    Hi my boyfriend of one year smokes weed constanlty I dont even kno how much times but I used to smoke weed but I do not now since it makes my anxiety worse so I tell him not to smoke near me bc I dont like the smell of smoke.. he also smokes ciggs and I tell him how nasty that is & he doesnt smoke that shyt around me.. the ciggs definitely bother me more than the weed & I have noticed guys in particular dont really watch their hygiene not all men but I kno a lot ! Sometimes I feel Like I want to leave my bf as well I literally dont want anything to do with him sometimes but those feelings pass. If you want to go ahead and leave you can do exactly that.. its your decision & if youre not happy then you can leave him but you also have children to consider so of course it gets more complicated when children are involved. Weed isnt a bad thing its way better than him being an addict to a horrible drug 

    • Stacey.baby
      Stacey.baby

      Posted

      But communication is key in a relationship.. you both should talk to each other about this
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