Help. I don't know if i have it.
Posted , 3 users are following.
I'm only 18 years old. I never wanted to have sex. I ended up losing it to a guy that I wasn't interested in and I knew he didn't like me either. We did on September 24. I wasn't happy afterwards because he didn't walk me to my car. I was disgusted with myself. Like what, 3 weeks later, I was taking a shower & I found two little irritated bumps down there. They were not sores at all. They just felt hard and bumpy. The only time they itch is when I wipe or take a shower. Finally, I went to the doctor in January after I slept with a guy. I was complaining to him that it was hurting too bad., but eventually he made it in there and fit.. It hurt at first, but it felt good. So I went to the doctor when I couldn't handle it. The itching has been going on for 5 months now... it's now Februay. My mom said they could be an ingrown hair cause i kept itching them and i did keep shaving down there a lot. So idk. Finally I went to the doctor and peed and got a blood test. My urine test came back negative for everything. But she told me I had HSV-1 in my body. I was confused. I started panicking. I didn't think I ever got a cold sore before in my life. But there was this bump by my mouth that I picked and eventually it bled but went away quick. My doctor gave me the Acyclovir and it made the itching stop down there. I called and complained when the itchings came back-- needless to say the itchings are only with the little bumps in my inner labia. So i went to go get a pap smear done, and she looked and said they didn't look like herpes. She said that I shouldn't be freaking out because a lot of people have HSV-1 but that doesn't make me feel any better! I feel gross. I feel like I'm always going to be single. One of the bump is so tiny and it's just hard.. the other on my labia is a little bigger but still tiny that it itches more. It doesn't feel like a sore at all. I walk fine, I pee fine, and I do everything fine. I'm just so confused. What did I do to deserve this? I can't see anything down there well because I'm a dark skinned woman so it's hard to see. The two bumps don't hurt at all they just itch sometime. If it was herpes wouldn't I be in more pain? Wouldn't I be experiencing the symptoms of it? My mom says that it's probably an ingrown hair because i kept itching and scratching it and that cause inflammation and irritation to the skin. I have no idea and it's been 5 months with these two bumps. I'm scared. I have always gotten razor bumps too but those never itch! It doesn't make me feel better when one of the nurse told me you can get HSV-1 genitally down there. But they wouldn't last this long right? I'm not shaving anymore and I'm using this cream my nurse gave me and it's helping so much. I'm just worried that one day i will get a break out down there but i don't have much experience with cold sores so idk if that bump near my lip was a cold sore. It's different if it's by my mouth or on my mouth.. I'm honestly fine with that.. but don't want it to be down there. People are judgmental. Please help me and tell me if it's an ingrown hair or herpes. Need to talk to more people to help make me feel better. I'm feeling sad and lonely, and wanna have cancer instead of this. Please help
0 likes, 7 replies
justsolucky524 oliviac21
Posted
Trust me in time you will see that either type of hsv is better than cancer...hsv is only a skin condition that causes irritation. Your bumps don't sound like hsv...the outbreaks don't last that long. If you said they went away after a week or so and then came back at another time I'd look at hsv being the cause. Think of the people you have seen with cold sores, it's just like that. Yes it will be irritated and itchy and you may have pain when you pee...but then it clears up once the sores heal. I encourage you to do some research and even read some of the stories on this site for a better understanding. You're not alone and you will be fine. I'm here if you wanna talk.
oliviac21 justsolucky524
Posted
Well one of the nurse said that everyone's body is different.. so her saying that terrifies me. A lot of people I talk to said, if you had herpes down there, trust me, you would know. I'm just scared cause people can shed the virus. The bumps are like on my labia.. How could i found out if it's herpes or not? It's been 5 months! The doctor didn't use water or anything with a cotton ball to test it... so i'm scared. The bumps are fresh-colored. I'm sorry for saying i would rather have cancer.. but people would still wanna have sex with a cancer person.. not a person with herpes. I feel like my life is over. Maybe i'm just overreacting? Please tell me about your experience with herpes.
justsolucky524 oliviac21
Posted
Yes everyone's body is different. People just might be quicker to sleep with someone with cancer than they do someone with herpes but just as you feel with herpes...how do you feel someone with cancer looks at their sex life, their sickness, their good days and bad and their rate of survival! Hsv causes sores not just a bump or two...they begin like pimples that then rupture and expose a sore often with pus and blood before healing and returning to normal...not as you describe. In my case two days after sex with my bf of two years I thought my skin was ripped due to rough sex...then I thought yeast infection yet the treatments didn't help...condition worsened and when I used a mirror to look down there closer I was horrified! I cried when I peed while holding the wall, sat, walked, woke in the middle of the night with severe itching and pain. That was my first outbreak and I will never forget it! However my mother being diagnosed with breast cancer is also something I'll never forget...turns out I have hsv 1 genitally, outbreak was the only one almost a year ago and never again...no meds, no dr visits, nothing...wishing I could say the same for my mom...
oliviac21 justsolucky524
Posted
I'm so sorry about your mom. At least she didn't get it from having sex. She's a fighter. Anyway, yes they could ingrown hair. I try to look at them in the mirror and stuff but its hard. My mom just looked at them for me and she says they look just like the ones i've already had. I guess I'm just overreacting when the doctor told me I had HSV-1. Don't know how i got it. You telling me you have hsv-1 genitally scares me. Are you & your bf still together? Or have you tried dating at all? I'm trying so hard to live with this. Maybe i've always had HSV-1.. but i'm afraid to kiss people now cause i'll infect them. I'm so scared. Idk if i have it genital or orally.. that's what sucks. You think if i had it genitally, i would already be having the symptoms?
justsolucky524 oliviac21
Posted
Thanks. Sometimes or rather often people are asymptomatic and show no signs or symptoms or very minimal symptoms that are often confused with other illnesses. We are still together. That's why I encourage you to do some research, a lot of people have hsv and many don't even know it. Genital hsv 1 recurs with much less frequency than hsv 2. Yes it does suck not knowing where it is. When I had my first outbreak I knew where it was but not which one it was so I was afraid that I had hsv2 and educated myself preparing for many more outbreaks but they didn't come...then the blood test revealed why, hsv1. Take good care of yourself and realize you are still the same loving person, you didn't go out asking to become infected and neither did anyone else so turn the why me into why not! Cause it could've been so much worse...
oliviac21 justsolucky524
Posted
Yeah. I guess I have gotten cold sores before. My doctor is positive it's oral herpes and not down there. It's very rare for it to be down there. How'd you deal with your first outbreak?
justsolucky524 oliviac21
Posted
I went through just about every negative emotion one could feel, the pain and fear of the unknown will do that to you...but I researched night and day and once I found out what it was about a week from the start, I started the medication and found this site. I learned that I wasn't alone, I actually told a couple of people that were close to me..I soon realized it was extremely common. See here's the thing, the stigma is so great that nobody talks about it and so we think nobody we know has it...we are wrong!!! The CDC estimates 54% of people 14-49 have hsv 1, what are the chances that you know someone now? But just as you are afraid to talk to someone, so are they! I refused to look at myself as dirty or any different than I was before and I turned all the negative thoughts around. You will too 😊