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Help - I want to stop drinking

Posted , 3 users are following.

laura95695
laura95695

Hi, I feel like sh*t and have just confessed (not for the first time) to my husband that I have a major problem with drinking. At the moment I never want to drink again, but I know this will change soon. I'm scared. I have too much to lose and am scared I will let myself down. 

0 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • PaulJTurner1964
    PaulJTurner1964 laura95695

    Posted

    Need more info to help you better Laura. How much are you drinking? Is it every day? If so, is it all day or just in the evening? It IS something you can sort with the right support.
  • vickylou
    vickylou laura95695

    Posted

    When you say you've got a major problem with alcohol, without knowing how much you're drinking, when you're drinking, it's difficult to know how to advise you. is your

    husband aware of your problem.

    Youve recognised that you have a problem which is a really positive step. There's lots of help out there, but we need a bit more info. You will get plenty of support on here.

  • vickylou
    vickylou laura95695

    Posted

    Sorry, meant to say, was your husband surprised when you told him, or did he know and was waiting for you to tell him?
  • laura95695
    laura95695

    Posted

    Thank you for acknowledging my comments, typically over the last few weeks I have been drinking at least a bottle of wine each night, sometimes a bottle and a half (and then drink the remaining half in the following morning). This then leads to a need for more drink. Sometimes I drink Vodka mainly because of the lack of smell. Vodka is only at night. I suffer with depression, anxiety and low self esteem which is obviously not helped by the drink but I can't stop the need to quell the way I feel and always think "I'll worry about it in the morning". And boy does it hit me the next day when I feel like sh*t constantly. I have made a promise to myself and my husand and 3 year old son (but not for the first time) and while I currently feel like I really mean it this time, I am so afraid that the negative feelings involved with drink will wear off and I will return to the bottle. I know for a fact my life and wellbeing is better without alcohol so I hate myself more for continuing this cycle. 
    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 laura95695

      Posted

      Laura, in the past, how long has the drinking gone on for before you managed to reduce it to normal levels? Is it always a few weeks before you decide to stop?

      Also, what happens when you stop, do you get physical withdrawal symptoms?

      You may want to have a read about Nalmefene which is a newly licenced medication on the NHS. This helps people to reduce their drinking.  It has been discussed on this forum.

  • vickylou
    vickylou laura95695

    Posted

    Laura, don't listen or take any notice of anyone who tells you "drink vodka, as you can't smell it on your breath!" whilst it may not be as obvious as beer, wine, or whiskey, it's still alcohol and as such your breath will smell of alcohol.

    I sometimes used to save some wine for the morning if I wasn't working. The trouble with doing that is, when it wears off you're left wanting another drink, so you buy one, but then there's not enough for the whole evening and certainly none left for the morning. So you might end up buying two and then you're into the vicious circle which goes on and on.

     Naimefene wasn't around when I was at my worst, but if you google it or look on this forum there's plenty of advice online and also personal experience on this forum. If you want the correct info and not just advice from forum members, Paul will help.

    • laura95695
      laura95695 vickylou

      Posted

      Thanks again vickylou and paul for your comments, my husband is aware of the situation, mainly as I confessed all after a bender of a couple of weeks of off and on cycle as described. I've been feeling very low and have been using alcohol as a crutch and I have realised what a waste this is.  But I'm scared still (which maybe isn't such a bad thing) as I'm worried I may return to the vicious cycle. I normally lay off the booze for a good few days, maybe weeks, the most I've managed is 4 months booze free back in 2012. This was after a really bad bout of PND and I think the relief of coming out of the woods on the depression side, made me thankful and not wanting the booze. On the upside, I'm 3 days clean of alcohol (ok, not much but it's a start), I have a planner for the next month, I've also given up cigs (I'm an all or nothing person so it's the only way) and we've been out walking with our Little One all Day today @ Delamere forest. I just need to keep motivated and focused, and I think that's where the worry is, in case the novelty wears off. I've got a brilliant book I'm reading called Glass Half Full by Lucy Rocca and I'm finding this is really helpful for gaining an insight into my own thoughts and actions. But I'm well aware it's early days and a Long hard journey ahead, and whilst at the moment I feel motivated, I just don't want to fail. rolleyes 
    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 laura95695

      Posted

      You are doing everything right Laura smile Try not to think more than a day ahead at this stage, Every day without a drink is an achievement and you WILL notice your depression lift as you avoid alcohol. It may not disappear altogether, but it will be helped as alcohol is a depressant.
  • vickylou
    vickylou laura95695

    Posted

    Well done. Don't dismiss three days as not much. You should be proud you've managed it by yourself so well done.   You're doing all the right things, just don't try to run before you can walk 

    giving up up both alcohol and cigarettes at the same time shows how determined you are. Well done

  • laura95695
    laura95695

    Posted

    Thank You Both again. I desperately wanted a cig last nite after putting my lil' one to bed and asked my Hubby if he could give me one. He only had one and said a firm NO, for my own good and asked me not to put him in a difficult position. I got a bit moody but realised he was right and my mood didn't last long. I was SO glad this morning I did not relent with the cigs. I just went to bed early reading my book attempting to put it out of my mind for the eve. I even brushed my teeth instead of reaching for a nicorette, so I'm pleased I'm coping cold turkey, haha smile 

    However, My main concern is that I'm utterly focused and honest at the moment, but I do know how manipulative and secretive I can get once people let their guards down (or I let my own guard down). When I have a weak moment I refer to the book I'm reading so I'm going to try and stock up on books and other info to keep me focused. Also I plan to go swimming tomorrow morning which I have been meaning to do for weeks, but have always given in the the booze instead. I have not stopped today since dropping our son off at his Nanna's (Normally I would be halfway into a bottle of wine by now), and my husband and me are going for our Sunday Dinner out by way of a Treat. I can't tell you how pleased I am, and how different I feel just in 3 short days (as Thursday last week I was almost suicidal and dripping in shame and sorrow) cheesygrin

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 laura95695

      Posted

      You are doing great Laura. Just don't forget how good you feel now and how crap you feel when drinking smile
  • pmcg21
    pmcg21 laura95695

    Posted

    hi Laura, you may be better off concentrating on staying off the drink for now and dont worry about trying to give up ciggarettes till a later date- otherwise you may fall in to the trap of relapsing on the cigs followed by the drink- they are both exteremly hard to beat - trying to beat both at once may be too much too soon- best of luck witth it -
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