Help me please! Just diagnosed don't know what to do

Hi hun you are not alone i got diagnosed nearly 2 weeks ago and tbh it doesnt change anything all thats changed is that im aware i have it and i know when im about to have an outbreak.

Right first thing your bf could not have been tested for this properly as you need to have symptoms like blisters and ulcers so they swab straight from them otherwise theres more chance of tests coming back negitive so whos to say he didnt have it before if hes never had symptoms he would never know.

2nd please dont feel bad about your past everybody has one and he shouldnt make you feel bad about this everybody has done things that they regret and would like to forget about i bet he has too.

If he has had coldsores even as a kid he would already have antibodies againt the vius so he might never have an outbreak its not saying that he doesnt have it or that he didnt have before he met you.

My bf was like this when i told him but he came with me and they explained to him nobody will ever know who you caught it from or when. Please dont beat yourself up and dont let him make you feel worse its emotionally and physically stressful finding out you have herpes without other people putting you down aswell.

But chances are he has it whether he had it before you or he caught it off you but its not that bad its not curable but it is very managable and easily managable since i was diagnosed 2 weeks ago i have had 2 other little outbreaks i take tablets for 2 days and they are gone not halk as painful as first time and its not stressful just uncomfy.

If you want to talk more please message me i dont mind talking and helping when i cn i have done a lot of research over the past few weeks to try and keep it as dormant as possible.

Chin up hun it could be worse xx

So, let's put this in perspective. If you only have been with him for the last 7 years, then it is almost impossible to got herpes from the two one night stands or any other guy previously to being with your fiancé. So that means your doctor is so wrong. Furthermore, testing for herpes is very hard. The only true way to test for herpes is when an outbreak occurs and a doctor can visually see it. He said he got tested for herpes before you met? Very unlikely, and if he did, he could have tested a false negative. He could be a carrier. Also, he could have cheated on you within these last seven years that you don't know about. I'm sorry to say this, but I strongly feel that your fiancé is playing games with you. I feel like he gave the herpes to you and is trying to make it feel like it's your fault. I'm just saying, the chances of herpes popping up more than 7 years later after initial contact with is one in a trillion chances. I'm sure it CAN happen, but it's SO rare. RARE, RARE, RARE. 95% of people who have genital herpes received their first outbreak 3 days to two weeks after exposure.

Point is, stop beating yourself up honey. You are a GOOD person who doesn't deserved to be looked down upon, especially by your own fiancé.

You know what though an outbreak happening weeks months or years later does happen it happened to me i have been with my boyfriend for 4 and half years only 3 weeks ago i had an out break. Sorry if this is tmi but it explains iv lost my sex drive so hadnt had sex with my boyfriend hadnt touched him for months and suddenly i had an outbreak.

It does happen but its not as common as having it in the first few days to a week after being in contact with it so even if my bf had cheated on me which i believe he hasnt i hadnt been near him in months to have caught it then you could have caught it years ago so could he no one will ever know and like abby said they swab from blisters to get a clear result a blood test probs wouldnt have shown it up x

Pixie, I appreciate what your saying, but that is crazy that someone who was infected , say a decade ago, would all the sudden have an outbreak ten years later. I guess it does happen. Also, keep in mind, there is some probability that you could get infected other ways than sexual contact.

I have type 2 so no mine is sexual even the nusres and doctors said i could have got it from my boyfriend as he has coldsores but iv only just had an outbreak but he has antibodies against it so may never have an outbreak there are things that bring an outbreak on like stress ect but i have never had a coldsore and never had any other problems down there and didnt touch anyone for over 3 months before i had an outbreak some people never have an outbreak and live for years and years without knowing they have it so no its not really crazy because its more common then what people think some people just either never have an outbreak or wont have an outbreak until years later

First off, Congrats on your new bundle of joy! Secondly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I was diagnosed April 2013 and had a horrible out break. I was devastated when I found out. I have been with my husband for almost 9 yrs now so was very confused how all of a sudden, herpes showed up. He too was in denial about the fact that he could have it or that it came from him. Even if your fiance was tested in the past for STD, doesn't mean herpes was included. LikeHIV, herpes is a special test. Any who, fact of the matter is that you have it so both of you need to focus on your future together and how to manage it. You stated that you have anxiety and depression. I do too. With that said, here is my best advice to ya. Take valtrex and a vitamin EVERYDAY. The Valtrex will help suppress transmitting it and out breaks. I've noticed that when I'm really stressed or not taking good care of myself, I have an outbreak. Practice good hygiene, don't share your razor, don't take baths with others especially when you have an outbreak. If you do have an outbreak, here are thebest ways to find comfort: take Epsom salt or oatmeal baths but remember to bleach the tub after, put witchhazel on your sores, pure aloe and vitamin E oil too, and don't forget ibuprofen for the pain relief. These methods have worked wonders for me! Oh and most importantly, don't have sex when you have an outbreak. Good luck hun!