HELP my get up and go has got up and went help HOW DO I START AGAIN.

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  Hi all😕I guess lots of people like myself out there with depression and anxiety hide themselves away.I have done this for so many years but I find it now it’s getting harder and harder to get out and do things that are used to do!

I feel I’m stuck in the house but I’m really not I can go any time but I don’t want to.

When I do I constantly worry about what will happen who I will see, and if anything bad will happen constantly so its best if I just stay home. My family have been pushing me to try and go out and do things but is make me worse at some point. I know they’re doing it for my benefit but right now I don’t know where my head is!!!Can anybody relate to this does anybody stay in instead of going Out avoid the things they should be doing cancel appointments not go see their friends and then just stop seeing people!!

 Well this is where I’m at at the moment I’ve only been out once in the last week.

 i’m 40 I’ve had depression for 26 years now and anxiety I’ve left my husband and I’m now living with my mum.It’s very hard because I know I have to rebuild my life and I don’t know where to start everything is so so overwhelming.I rambling and sorryCan anybody relate? I desperately need some direction I’m sat here right now with a colouring book in front of me how silly that might sound but that’s what I’ve been doing or lying about.

 my get up and go has certainly gone up and went and I can’t find it and I’m desperately trying to get back! I’m  feeling very very very isolated and lonely although that doesn’t have to be the case does it.Once again sorry for the rambling thank you if anybody listened or if anybody can give me any advice feel really overwhelmed at the momentThank you very muchVicky🌈 Is just starting again at 40 just things so hard to do at the moment I have no home with my own not a scrap of furniture so that’s what I mean by starting again.  I don’t know what to do and where to start!

 I live with my mum who’s 70 and a wonderful lady and I have to move out as my mood swings depression the night terrors affecting her health and she feels (helpless)


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  • Posted

    First of all, it's great that you're living with someone. I know your mother is 70 and perhaps struggling with how you're feeling and behaving right now, but just to be there with someone, someone who I'm sure wants you to get better again (and you will my dear). It sounds like you also have a group of friends who love you as well! That's a real blessing. For now, you've hit a slump. And that's fine. If you dont want to socialise with people or being out and about is anxiety-inducing for you, thats also ok.  I think you need to see a doctor and get professional advice - do you think you can go to your local GP surgery tomorrow morning? The doctor will probably refer you to a therapist. Youve been suffering with this for 26 years but youve also managed to make friends and form a romantic connection with someone. You probably have seen a therapist or been on medication before, but it doesn't mean you shouldnt talk to a professional again or be prescribed some antidepressants perhaps. Youll find with a combination of talking therapy and meds (or maybe just the therapy in your case), you will get better, start to socialise more and more and the socialising will help your recovery! Dont force it though, and dont put up a front to anyone. For now, see if you can try and go for a very short walk in a nearby park if possible each day, or sit in the garden if your mother has one. Just to have fresh air and to be in nature. Then know that you always have your mum's house to return to for comfort. Drink  a cup of tea and watch something nice on tv smile I really hope you do go and speak to a docor and be totally honest and open with them about how exactly youve been feeling recently - we dont want this problem to get any worse, and with some help it will only get better! X 

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    • Posted

      Thank you very much for your reply,

      yes ive had these awful deases since I was 14, I’ve had many meds and have had help a bit as in talking.

       Mines such a messed up story I’ll keep it brief.

      14 diagnosed with these deseas very hard told I would ld never have children.

       I carried on but I met a man got married, he was doing heroin behind my back.... then I became and addict for 15 years.

       I found the strength to get away from him and I am nearly with months clean.

       Everything is so vivid so raw. So painful. 

       I’m on so many tablets such a mix.

       I thank you for your advice!🙂

       I’m still fighting I had my CPN taken away well not reinstated when I left my violet husband and got clean. I went back to my hometown, with nothing just my clothes. They said because I had false and could speak well and I was well dressed I was ok. I’m not I went back to my hr dr who knows me, she was cross and got me another assessment They found I am desperate to talk and defiantly 

      need of a medication review.

      so I have nothing left I have to rebuild and that’s it my get up and go has gone.

      Ive fought I really have ive seeked  all the help I’m waiting I’m tired 💤 

       then not going out is because I am worried a attacker will be there... that’s anothers story.

      so I guess I’m doing what I can! I have called the mental health team today after reading your reply they say I’m still on the system. Feels like life’s on hold. I want to deal with my issues and talk... it’s been to long..

      sorry ranting and probably tmi for you, I’m sorry.

       Going to watch tv now... you say about having people around but hey does it feel like no ones there here.  It’s hard for others that don’t suffer to understand.

      Thank you I will try again tomorrow.

       A cup of tea and tv fo me,

       Thank you it means a lot that you have suggestions🙂


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    • Posted

      Hi Vicky,

      Your story is very complicated but not tmi, these are things that have happened to you and you shouldnt feel ashamed. Your life sounds quite tough but the fact that you have kicked an addiction? That is absolutely amazing, you should be so proud!! You took care of yourself and showed that you dont want to give up, you want a good future. And you will have it.  Im guessing youre in the uk? The NHS is so overwhelmed and it can take such a long time to get help, I know that. But you *will* get it, hopefully from a psychotherapist or humanistic therapist who you like and can build a good relationship with. I think something you really need is stability in your life, and you can get it smile 

      Whats great is that you have left an abusive and harmful relationship- you need to feel safe. You may even discuss this with your doctor and a therapist, the possibility that you may benefit from trauma counselling, so that the world is a less hostile place for you ??

      I get exactly what you mean when you say you feel alone or lonely even when youre with people, thats what depression does to you but it wont forever. I think the best thing to do for now is accept that you feel lonely, you feel down and that for now, just at this moment, you accept this feeling and live next to it. Because its not permanent. As for the medication, its great that youre getting a review on it, it would be great for you to find the antidepressant/s that works for you and that again you can find stability with your meds as well. Perhaps youre even drug resistant, but most likely you arent! 

      Im so glad youre having some tea and watching the TV, something nice for yourself -and maybe try talking to your mum, even if it's the most basic interaction, it may help. While youre watching TV, thats all that exists. Its all you have to think about, even though it's difficult. Also, you should be very proud that you followed my advice, i think thats very strong of you! Everyday that youre alive, youre doing well.

      Please be patient with mental health services - so many people working in them are compassionate and they care about you, thats why they chose this career! It may take time in this day and age, but just know that help will come. Make sure whoever you ask for help knows how bad you feel, dont hold back. Xx

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for listening too me..

      i just feel I’ve fought so much and hard to get away from the drugs and leaving my husband, sounds silly but sometimes I miss him. I will never go back to either. It’s been a hard time maybe it’s just overwhelmed me right now.

       I am in th U.K. and I know that the mental health teams are pushed to the max, but it’s been so long. I do understand I used to work in the care industry and you have to care to do the job.

       The man I went to an assessment for was really kind!!  I can call a helpline in the meantime.

       It’s such a lonely desease, I feel I will bring people down because of me being like this you know?

       I have been waiting 9 months because of the first ridiculous assessment they judged a book by a cover not what I was saying at all!,

      I am glad that I will get to see someone, I am bursting to talk my problems through.

      My life is like it’s on Pause waiting for the CPN to give some sort of  guidance.

      My medication is all over.. mirtazipine venaflaxine pregabalin diazepam  Zopiclone naproxen and gabapentin for pain as I’ve arthritis it goes on oh lanzoprzole to stop the tablets making me feel sick. 

      My poor dr has helped me but the tablets are not right I can feel it but I don’t know what to do until I see them.

      Rambling again, 

      It’s very  much appreciated  that you have thought and answered me.

      I am sat with my mum watching TV and we are talking she is very loving but feels helpless when she’s she’s me like this. She’s all I have and she a rock, my reason to be here. She had breast cancer when I was an addict, I wasn’t there for as I should have been! At leat I am here with her right now, bless her.

      I hope you yourself are ok... we are all here for a reason.🙂

      Thank you now how is it?? thurmanmurman? Interesting name



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    • Posted

      Hi vicky,

      So it looks like you are on a lot of different medications which im guessing have been prescribed by the same doctor? I think you should not think about the gabapentin, lansoprazole and naproxen and  as these are for your physical issues, and they are separate for the medications for you mental illness (depression, anxiety, these are illnesses that get better when theyre treated, and people should have compassion for this as its not something you can change immediately). The others are a lot for you to deal with and if you feel theyre not working for you then you should trust that feeling - how long have you been on these antidepressants/sedatives? If its less than a month or so, maybe wait and see. But as youve said youre waiting to speak to your GP about it, and it's good that you will because they will be able to review your progress and decide that you maybe should try one of the many other antidepressant options that are out there! Do you have to wait long to see your gp? Is there no appointment for this week? 🙂 It seems, though, that your life experiences, damaging relationships and own struggles with addiction are feeding a lot of this depression. Talking therapy is potentially the best treatment you can get for this! To work through your feelings with someone who can give another perspective, and to give you peace. And the fact that you are seeing your CPN to sort this out is wonderful. Have you tried applying for talking therapies through the NHS online? I know there are horror stories about waiting times for sessions to start, but i was appointed in 1 month when i did it 2 years ago. I think psychotherapy would help you lots rather then CBT because it really digs deep and gives you understanding of you life and your feelings. But just stick out the wait, you will see your CPN soon, you can say that you feel you need therapy (if you want to do this, and i think its very important that you do, because wanting therapy is a big first step in getting better), and start seeing someone, someone who can just listen to everything you are dealing with. I think youre doing incredibly well actually. Setting little goals for yourself, talking to us, trying things and making appointments 🙂 And recovering from an addiction is another remarkable and positive thing that youve achieved, i hope you know youre capable of anything now!!

      Please dont go back to yout husband. Clearly that relationship is a source of unhealthy habits and mindset. You dont need it. 

      You absolutely should not worry about bringing people down. Trust me, i know that feeling but you arent capable of bringing people down, but youre projecting your depression onto others and perhaps feel that they must feel it because you do. But they are ok. People do care and can sympathise. This is why a therapist is particularly good, because they are trained to not let others' struggles affect them! As to your mum, have you tried telling her that you love her, youre grateful that you have her and that right now she cant actually do anything to help you except to be with you? And that she shouldnt feel so much responsibility for how you feel. Its just something that you need to recover from with meds and therapy. Im sure she understands why you werent there for her, addiction takes control of a person. But you can look forward to being there for her for the rest of her life 😊

      Of course you feel overwhelmed. And thats so okay. Please try telling yourself " ok this is how i feel right now, and thats fine. This isnt forever". 

      I am doing ok, went off my meds (sertraline) at the wrong time, have been back on for a week but a week ago was a terrible time. I am putting myself first right now, because mental health is so important, and not allowing myself to think about responsibilities as this doesnt help. It's hars, but i know i really just need time time time, and someone to talk to, which i will have soon. You should put yourself first right now too. 

      Haha, its a character from the film Bad Santa, a bit silly x

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    • Posted


      Thurmanmurman not silly fun...

      Wow what can I say I ve read back over and over you reply.

       You’ve listen and the advice it great.

      This is where I’m at atm.

      Im  on mirtazipine 30MGS , venaflaxine 75 mgs slow release Diazapam 20 mgs  (4x4mgs) pregabalin 50mgs (2X25) Zopiclone 7.5mgs. The others lanzoprzole, gabapentin!naproxen, atorvostatin. I know these are other heath related medicines

       Now I was on Propanol but had to come off as I have asthma. It was the best one for me was on it 6 years! I had to come off in 3 days, then the pregabalin.... I’ve been worse since being on them.

       The others Mirtazipine diazepam ZOPICLONE  i been given for years.

      My drs is very good however I don’t think she knows what’s best for me.

       This is why I’m waiting to have a medical review and a CPN but is m waiting for that. They are pushed and I do know this!! It’s been along time.

      ive not had a proper medical review for years. If you know about Zopiclone it’s not ment fow long term! Only a few weeks to get a pattern  but I’ve had mine coming up 6 years!!  My sleep is all over

      Although I don’t take them every night.

       I’m also on a drug called subutex as you know I’m an ex addict so I  this Also 6mgs.

       Somtimes I forget my tablets take too many forget ive taken them loose them, I put them in a special box from chemist but I was taking the night ones in the day.

      So you see a medical review is defiantly needed.

      Talking through my issues my problems I think and hope  it will be the answer along with the meds.

      Very complicated all I want to do is get some direction some way of sorting out my thoughts and feelings in the right way not drugs!!( I meant the Heroin) That was a massive antidepressant if you know what mean .... well it’s a massive cosh. My head is so much clearer now. Memories shocks and deaths they all happened I have to deal with it hence the CPN.

       I found the strength to beat the heroin and the methadone and leave the nasty man I My life. I know I will never go back there to either.

       Like I said the get up and go has gone, it was so draining so heartbreaking 

      I had to not tell anyone arrange a van and left with only my clothes and bearded dragon!

       I had to sort everything out without telling anyone for 12 weeks I lived with him at his nastiest he went back on Heroin too!! I left my step daughter and step grandson who I loved dearly.

      its loss I cannot deal with, it takes me a long time to get over things.

      its where do I start..

       Yes yes I always tell her I love her my mum that is I tell her she is the best I say she has brought us up very well only I got a habit!!

      shes never turned her back on me not ever she tries to help. She suffers with depression too her mother before her,! She’s my rock we help each other. When she see me with a night terror I was gutted she didn’t know what to do bless her she was just her... kind and caring. She is 2 years cancer free now.. very precious to all of us,!

       This is why the need to move as I do have mood swings! I snap I jump to the wrong conclusion and I also don’t know quite how poorly I am. I am good at hiding it... but it’s tiring.

      Its a waiting game hey!

       I am sorry you’ve had rough time of it lately. You say you went off you meds at the wrong time. I think you’ve gotta be in a reasonable place to think about it do it at your pace is there a rush?

       you are totally right mental heath and the importance of looking after yourself first it is!

       Hope you are doing better and thanks I really mean that!

      may we all hope to have better days ahead of us! Cherish the little things and take it day by day.

       I’m trying to get out more.. and wait for it I did a loads of house work yesterday set myself a few goals and did them. It’s true you feel better after.

      its just having that get up and go all the time how do people manage it!,

       Take care

      Vicky 🌈

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  • Posted

    I can totally relate. I don't go out either cause I don't want to see anyone as well. I stay in my room and isolate. I cannot even do my responsibilities that I should do in my apartment cause it's to overwhelming. Everything is in shambles but I live alone so I don't have anyone in to visit so I don't care what my place looks like. It overwhelms me as well of all the things that I need to do but I just can't get out of bed. I too would love to take anyone's suggestions as well just like you. I totally understand what u are going through. We both sound like we are struggling with the same thing. I thought I was the only one like this.

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    • Posted

      Hi there🙂 

       Ohno no I don’t think we are the only ones,

      we are not for sure. This is probably very very relatable it’s depression working very well along with the anxiety!!

      Its this illness isn’t it !!and how horrible it affects everyday life.... everyday!!

      I feel like my life is on Pause as I’m waiting for a CPN. I have been waiting now for nine months and it’s very frustrating.I guess we have to take each day as it comes and maybe make time to do things that we like. Clear a room do some ironing ect.... make a little goal.

      I do try to do this I do,! then I always stop something always stops me. I freeze I make excuses,!

      When I have done things I have set out to do in the past i know I feel better in myself. It’s just the literary get up and go has gone and went as I said. My medication is all over and to be completely honest I have no clue anymore what they’re actually doing if in fact anything! Well they are I feel up down more down than up crying feel helpless, heartbroken over the past that I cannot change.I think I need to get a plan in order I need to set a couple of goals the week and maybe you could do the same? Little steps.

      i hope your ok today Hylandgal know you’re not on your own it’s not nice p,it’s no cocerlation but you’re not.

       Day by day 

      take care

      Vicky 🌈  

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    • Posted

      Hi hylandgalsmile

      Of course youre not the only one and i hope you take some comfort in knowing this. About a quarter of all of us will experience depression at some point in our lives. The same symptoms you have, not wanting to do anything or leave your bed or see anyone.

      Have you told anyone about this like your doctor? They can suggest options for you, such as an antidepressant prescription or referral to therapy services. You will get out of this smile

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    • Posted

      Hi there,

      Yes I'm on medication but my psychiatrist has said I'm med resistant as we have tried every medication known to man. He suggested ECT but I am petrified of the horrible side effects. I stay in bed in my room isolated on a regular bases. I make doctors appointments and then straight back home and into bed. I say to myself what I have to do but it just never gets anywhere. I have a friend who comes out every other weekend and he will do things for me but it's not fair that he comes out and I stay in my room and he does things in the apartment. I know it's so unfair to him but he just goes about doing things. I have no interest in anything. Nothing that use to make me happy makes me happy anymore. I use to keep a spotless place and I could care less now. It's very sad to say the least

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    • Posted

      Hi there 🙂

      bless you.. it is sad to say and I get that way too!!

        We mustn’t be the only ones who say in their house/room that avoid things. I too leave things let them get on top of me,then it gets overwhelming I know I’m not helping myself. I should get on top of housework paperwork and filling in a form that’s been waiting,!

       My mum tries to (buck me up) and she’s been a dear a rock she’s my world I’ve no kids no future.

       I don’t want to give up,! I just can get up and go again. Feel like I’ve done it a thousand times.

       Like I said I do feel better when I’ve achieved a little thing such as tiding my room sorting clothes, have no interest.

       you say about your meds it’s sad that theres not one that can help you,perhaps the therapy suggested although you are scared may help.

       My sisters friend had the same treatment she Is so much better now what a change in her. That’s just one person I know that’s had this. So can’t comment about it as I wouldn’t be in a position too. That’s for you and your phycatrist to talk trough but if will help you hey why not look into it just see wether that would be an option.

       It’s good you’ve a friend and he helps you, he must care a lot for you.

       Maybe like me we need our get up and go back. Little by little.

      i am going to make it a goal as I’ve been speaking to you. I’m gonna blitz my room. I know I’ll feel better. What if you  were to pick one thing and try to do it it too might make you feel good! When your friend comes nex time give him a hand maybe. I know it’s hard when you don’t want to do a thing,,

       I’m giving it a go.. will see

      we are not alone hey🙂

      vicky 🌈

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    • Posted

      I have the same problems. I just want to sit around and i see all the things piling up,that i used to be able to,do but cant anymore.  My hubby tries to get me out of bed by noon and takes me out but I have no life compared to what i was like before.

      what does your dr give you, mine mirtazapine, but ive had so many they dont work for me and i  dont know what he will do next.  ECT is my big worry as i just cant take the pills they make me worse.  Is there any end to all this suffering for those who pills dont help

      did you find anything that did five you some respite?

      i am wondering if its the valium which is doing this.

      i welcome your thoughts, the Mental Health system in Scotland is failing me

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    • Posted

      Hi Hylandgal,

      Even if youve tried every medication known to man, have you tried a combination of antidepressants (on prescription of course). One of my friends was at a suicidal point in her life and she proved very med resistant, but eventually came to a mixture of 2 ADs that made her feel able to cope. 

      What type of therapy are you receiving from your psychiatrist? Have you considered a different type of therapy, like psychotherapy,? It may do more good for you 🌼

      Please dont feel you need to worry about your friend. You are unwell right now. If you had a broken leg and were living alone, no one would dream of leaving you alone to keep your things in order. Depression is just as debilitating as a broken leg (but a lot more difficult to endure!!). I can guarantee you that your friend would not keep coming to help you out if he didnt want to. He clearly cares very much and probably understands. Its great to have at least one person who is there for you. 🌝

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