Help needed

Get a doctor exma asap. Go see a nuerologist. 

This is a difficult one, Peter, but unfortunately it's quite a common story. However, "getting nasty" doesn't automatically have to be the first sign of dementia. You don't say whether she has any other signs, e.g. memory loss, not coping with household chores, neglecting personal appearance and hygiene etc.

These sudden mood swings could be down to all kinds of problems, both mental and physical, so ideally she needs to see a doctor to get a basic check-up, and especially blood tests. Quite simple, treatable medical conditions can sometimes cause dementia-like symptoms. Off the top of my head I can think of an under-active thyroid, which causes tiredness and lethargy, and vitamin B12 deficiency, which can actually lead to brain damage if not treated. The other possibility is that she may secretly be having symptoms that make her think she has cancer, and is feeling very frightened. Or just that your relationship has run its course.

I'm afraid you're just going to have to be patient. Try having the occasional conversation with her about seeing a doctor, but keep mental changes out of it. Push the idea that she seems very under the weather lately and that she needs a few blood tests. Even if you manage to get her there, there's still a danger that the doctor won't spot anything wrong in her manner, especially if he/she doesn't know her and in the context of the three-minute consultations we hear about in the NHS (if you live in the UK, that is). The best solution for that would be for your partner to agree to you going into the consultation with her, but I can see you'd probably have problems with that one too.

Wherever you are in the world, there's no way you can force her to see a doctor - unless, of course, her mood swings become so severe that there's a danger she will harm you or herself. Sadly, it would become a police matter then. In the meantime you're just going to have to watch and wait, and take every opportunity that presents itself to express your concern about her health.

Hello peter,

What you eat may have its greatest impact on brain health through its effect on heart health. Heart-healthy eating patterns, such as the Mediterranean diet, also may help protect the brain. A Mediterranean diet includes whole grains, fruits and vegetables, fish and shellfish, and nuts, olive oil and other healthy fats.

If there are times of day when your partner is less confused or more cooperative, plan major activities for those times.

Playing your partners favorite types of music is typically the most effective form of dementia therapy.

Hi Peter, my sister is showing signs of it and I know how hard it is to get her to see a doctor but we're planning to get the doctor to come to our home and all of us there as a family so she doesn't think he's there just for her,I'm going to pretend the doc is here to see me. And let the diagnosis begin. Good luck to you, I know it's a very tough situation to be in.