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Help please

Posted , 5 users are following.

clare2308
clare2308

Hi I am a 47 year old binge drinker.  I do not drink every day and can easily not drink for weeks at a time.  I only ever drink in the evenings.  About 5 years ago i tried AA but found I couldnt talk in the meetings and also although I itentified with some stories I am not physically dependant but I would say I am psychologically dependant.   I do not know what the triggers are, I could be sad and need to relax or I could have worked hard that day and believe I deserve a bottle of wine.  If I can keep it to one or two glasses I am ok but I never know when it will turn into a bottle or God forbid two.  I also binge smoke when i have these wine/beer frenzies and never smoke the rest of the time. It is like being possessed.  I am fully aware that in time this is probably a death sentence. When hungover and ashamed I sometime think that would be a blessed relief.  But I realise that is selfish behaviour.  What I want to do is get better but do not know where to go.  My work colleagues, family and friends are not aware of these binges.   Or if they are they have not commented for I do most of them alone, where the consequences are less. No one has told me I have a drink problem but aside for the health, weight ( I am now 18 kilos overweight) there is the financial drain of buying 3 or four bottles of wine a week.  It could be more I do not count.   Can anyone here help me.  Thank you

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • amanda35334
    amanda35334 clare2308

    Posted

    Hi claire,

    Like yourself i binge drink every weekend, so im going to my gp to see if i can get on these. 

    If you are alcohol-dependent, you have a strong desire to drink alcohol. Your body becomes used to lots of alcohol, and even if you want to reduce your drinking, it is often difficult.

    Nalmefene will help you to reduce the amount of alcohol you drink if you are not able to do this on your own. It does this by interfering with the processes in your brain which are responsible for your urge to drink.

    • clare2308
      clare2308 amanda35334

      Posted

      Thank you but I really do not want to go to a GP, mainly as this kind of condition is on ones record forever and that is not something that I can have, sadly.  sad

       

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 clare2308

      Posted

      I agree with Amanda that Nalmefene may be a good option. I think it is far better on your health records to have the fact that you realised that you were drinking too much and did something about it, than having the various health problems that are related to excessive drinking on your heath record. The only way to avoid anything on your records is to go privately to get help or to avoid any medical help altogether. I think your fears are unfounded, however, I don't know what your job is but there are very few jobs where asking for early help with excessive drinking would go against you. Anything you say to your GP is also confidential unless you are in a position (maybe applying for a job) where you have to sign a form to give permission for the GP to write a report on your health. Even in a case like that, GPs are asked if there are any serious health problems and yours wouldn't be classed as that UNLESS your problems escalated to that, in which case you would have far more to worry about that your professional reputation smile
    • clare2308
      clare2308 PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      Thank you Paul.  I do have the type of job where one has to make a declaration of treatment for alcohol or drug abuse.   Which is why I am relucant to see a doctor about this.   I am also single so have no one to support me if I lost my job.  I appreciate that this problem is one that normally esculates but my situation has been the same for many years.  I have managed to give up for a period of nine months but as soon as I drank again the urge to binge came back.  They were not happy months but were without consequence and I was definately healthier but very angry that I could not drink, especially around the christmas period. I doubt I can afford private medical care.   

       

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 clare2308

      Posted

      I understand Clare. Have you checked whether that declaration only applies when you first start working for your employer? I think it would be illegal to sack somebody on the basis that they needed a pill to help them reduce their drinking. It would be different if you were using illicit drugs because, then, you would be breaking the law. I would try and find out what the rules are so that you are fully clear about that. If you can't use your GP, then you could consider getting a private prescription but you would have to check that any future medications you took didn't interact badly with Nalmefene
    • vickylou
      vickylou clare2308

      Posted

      The substance abuse clinic I referred to is also a drop in centre (it's called ADS). Am pretty certain it started in Manchester, but have clinics all over the country. You don't have to go through a GP. Use online forums if you don't want it on your health records. Personally I couldn't care less what's in my records as its confidential, so long as I could get help. I take it then if you broke your leg you wouldn't want that on your records! Why should mental health problems be any different. At the end of the day if you want help its there, but you have to ask for it.
  • vickylou
    vickylou clare2308

    Posted

    I'm in the same situation as you. I suffer from anxiety and every so often have a few drinks to take away my anxiety. The stupid thing is, I know I will feel worse in the morning after. Then I feel guilty and get panic attacks, so I then buy another bottle of wine. Also like you I can go ages without drinking, then seem to press a self distruct button. It's a vicious circle. I went to my doctor and told him I was concerned I was drinking too much. He referred me to the substance abuse clinic. I had an assessment and was told, apart from acupuncture, they couldn't offer me anything as I was not alcohol dependant. They suggested they after care team, but there's a six month waiting list to see a counsellor! and 9 months wait for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy)

    there re is loads of online info and support on forums like this. It has helped me a lot as I thought I was a one off and certainly no role model. I found I was not alone, lots of people in the same boat, and some a lot worse than me. I would certainly recommend you see your GP.

    you should be proud of the fact you've asked for help and support now, rather than waiting until alcohol has taken over and then the uphill struggle of being alcohol dependant. Good luck, but my next step would be to my GP. Nothing to be ashamed of at all.

  • nevbear
    nevbear clare2308

    Posted

    Hi Clare, i most def identify with you, im on day 18 of no alcohol, i used to drink every day, have done for that long i couldnt tell you before now the last time i didnt have a drink. im 50 years old, female, have a wonderful grown up family, husband of 30 years and a good job, i drank at least 5 cans of cider every day, weekends prob 8 to 10 a day. i took myself to an alcohol and drug abuse centre  just over three weeks ago and it was the best thing ive done, i too wasnt physically dependant on it but truely beleived i couldnt survive without it, im waititng for surgery at the moment which is why im off work and decided that this was my opportunity to do it. i kept it away from work but my family were very aware and i know i made it incredibly difficult for them all. i started to drink earlier and earlier in the day while ive been off work sometimes as early as lunch, those days would prob see me drinking 8 cans a day and one day i remember drinking all the cider i had left and two bottles of wine, felt like crap the day after but still drank that day. im not going to say it will be easy nothing is, but i do beleive with the right framework and support in place you too can do it, i was ashamed, felt pathetic, hated myself for what i was doing to myself and my loved ones, only you know how bad it is and only you can make the decision to quit. this site along with  hypnotherapy support which i listen to daily has helped me keep going, i too tried AA a couple of years ago and i felt extremely uncomfortabe there, i stopped going after a couple of sessions. you have made the first move in the the right direction by coming on to this site. happy to talk anytime.  good luck.
  • pmcg21
    pmcg21 clare2308

    Posted

    hi Clare i am an alcoholic, i have been in recovery since 2005, i  strugled with alcohol for most of my adult life, i was in and out of rehab and AA (couldnt get the message) i finally went to an addiction counselor and started to deal with alot of issues related to my drinking - i would highly recommmend this course of action as an alternative to AA and asking your GP for medication- while medication may help with cravings it wont help you to deal with the issues in your life that MAY act as a trigger for your binge drinking- it is done in confidence - no employer can ever access your records or attendance at a counsellor- no=one need no - i know this worked for me - i am aware everybodys road to recovery or abstinance is different so i would merely offer it as a safe and secure alternative to attending you GP or obtaining medication to help - anyway i wish you the best of luck - keep reaching out and asking for help - 
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