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Help please

Posted , 6 users are following.

Scaredtodeath
Scaredtodeath

OK I'm a little freaked out and depressed I recently broke out down there with the little tiny white bumps which hurt like hell . I went to the er and the doctor told me it could be herpes I was devastated. I've been crying for the past week I have to kids a 2 yr old girl and a 1yr old boy. I'm also married I've been with my same partner for the last 4 yrs. He's been faithful also I swear. I'm just confused and lost I don't know what to do. I also have SLE (LUPUS) I'm scared I don't wanna put my family at risk and I definitely don't wanna lose my husband I'm scared what should I do.

0 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • cartercali
    cartercali Scaredtodeath

    Posted

    Depending on what type you have ...

    It doesn't always mean that you are being unfaithful or whatever..

    Did you get a test done ? When is your results suppose to come back ?

    • Scaredtodeath
      Scaredtodeath cartercali

      Posted

      I got a appointment tomorrow I feel its genetail herpes . my husband been kinda distant he has been helping me apply my creams and stuff but I feel space between ushe acts like he doesn't want me touching him or anything
  • Alexinator
    Alexinator Scaredtodeath

    Posted

    Don't take it personally. It could have been in your body for years and you not notice. Thats common. Best thing to do is get checked and just take it from there. Be calm and think rationally, don't let your emotions get ahead of you.
  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus Scaredtodeath

    Posted

    If herpes, there is a strong chance he is an asymptomatic carrier and finally passed this on to you. Hope they swabbed you for HSV type. Once you know your results, you should both get immediately tested by IgG (not IgM) to confirm your HSV status by antibody. If you are negative for antibodies but positive by swab, this is a new infection for you and your partner's IgG results should match your swab results (which would mean it is an existing infection for him, because his body has had time to develop antibodies, unlike yours).

    P.S. Personally, I wouldn't allow a partner to apply cream to a herpes outbreak, as in case he miraculously doesn't have it, he is unnecessarily exposing himself to the worst of the virus, plus, sorry for saying this, but it is quite the turnoff!

    • Scaredtodeath
      Scaredtodeath FelizCastus

      Posted

      I know if I do have it it came from my ex but he insisted on applying it for me he says it doesn't make him see me any differently.but we take strong precautions he wears gloves and we both wash our hands before and after and he also uses qtips . he just likes to help to make sure I take good care of myself since I have lupus and all.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Scaredtodeath

      Posted

      You said he was being distant. Anyway, that's good he's taking precautions at least. He should still get tested, however. You never know with herpes, especially if this is your first outbreak. The whole thing about how herpes can lie dormant and not cause a first outbreak until years later only occurs in about 20% of cases. Most first outbreaks are due to new infection.
    • Scaredtodeath
      Scaredtodeath FelizCastus

      Posted

      And he is being a Lil distant like I'm not breaking out on my mouth or anything But he won't kiss me he stop holding me and he stay from around me alot
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Scaredtodeath

      Posted

      It's a lot for him to absorb. Hopefully he'll come around. If you've been having symptoms on and off for a while and he was fine while you both didn't know it was herpes, then knowing now that it could have been due to herpes should not make a big difference, in theory. Of course, it's different in practice. Fingers crossed he'll see that there's no real difference, things are essentially the same as before, just that you now have a possible HSV diagnosis.
  • Miss_Take
    Miss_Take Scaredtodeath

    Posted

    Good Day Scaredtodeath,

    As mentioned earlier, it is highly possive for this virus to lay dormant for years and be spread undetected. However, it is crucial, if it's herpes that you maintain a stable emotional health as excess worrying and stress can worsen the existing condition. It is good that you have the support of your spouse in this matter and commendable for him but there are other things he can possibly do to assist you like research on how to identfy symptoms, treatement options that are catered to you and also for sensitise him on dealing with a spouse that has herpes.

    Be well and I wish you a speedy recovery.

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Miss_Take

      Posted

      Yes, but in no more than 20% of cases, possibly only around 10%. Although it can happen, the large majority of symptomatic first outbreaks are due to newly acquired infection, not one from long ago.
    • Scaredtodeath
      Scaredtodeath FelizCastus

      Posted

      Are u saying that it didn't come from my ex.?

      I mean he's the only other person I ever had unprotected sex with, and that was 4 years ago. I'm so confused .

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Scaredtodeath

      Posted

      It is not impossible, but if this is your first outbreak, the odds are higher that it's from your husband. Either way, he should test, too, because there's no point in you taking the meds for reducing transmission, should you choose to do that, if he also has the same HSV type. If definitely herpes, it could well be only Type 1 (much better to have that genitally than Type 2, btw), in which case maybe he just has it orally and you got it that way, which is common.
    • Miss_Take
      Miss_Take FelizCastus

      Posted

      That is always me issue, how to you detect when you were infected if you never had an outbreak. My partner said he was infected in January of this year but we still both did not have any related symptoms. I was even concerned if I gave it to him as I had a different partner two years prior. Although I am sexually active I don't have multiple partners as was the case with my current partner. He admitted to having multiple partners and informed all except one he was with in December of last year tested positive. Then there was also the issue of the values on the test as he informed me that mine was higher then most which may mean I was the source of the virus.
    • Miss_Take
      Miss_Take

      Posted

      Sorry, higher than the others not most (typo)
    • Scaredtodeath
      Scaredtodeath FelizCastus

      Posted

      Its not my first break out we thought the others were dealing with my lupus because I break out from that also down there
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Miss_Take

      Posted

      Higher index value could also mean it was a fairly new infection, right after your body mounted an antibody response, so acquired 3-4+ months before the test.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Scaredtodeath

      Posted

      Ah, that's different. But he should still test for the reason I mentioned (whether you should consider meds or not).
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