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i have joined this forum in the hope I can learn more about my wife's bipolar and how I can help our family.
my wife suffers from bipolar we have been together for 7 years and married for 3 years. When I first met my wife she was on lithium. We have been happy together and wanted to start a family, we worked towards my wife coming off lithium so we could have our first child. Over the 7 years things have been good. A few highs and lows but both have been manageable. We got married in 2011 and had our second child in January 2013. In December 2013 my wife had a bad episode of depression. I had to take time off as my wife couldn't face the day, taking our child to nursery ect. She was prescribed fluoxitine which helped her out of the depression. The fluoxitine may have pushed her to the "higher state". We have had a tough 2 years whilst I have studied part time at university. My time has been taken up by study and I have not been able to help as much as I could have. The last few moths I noticed my wife showing signs of becoming "high": excessive drinking, smoking and talking on the phone, On 15th June my wife left us, she went to be with her cousin who suffers from alcohol addiction. She said he needed her ;she's only known this cousin for a couple of months. My wife felt it was her job to help him out. I understood and thought my wife was doing a good thing,
my wife didn't return home for a few days I had to take time off to look after our children, then at 5:30am one morning my wife phoned me and said she didn't love me and wanted a divorce, she said she had not been happy fir moths (news to me). I've never treated her bad. I pay all the bills bad I don't have a lot left over to spend on taking us out to dinner.
I found out my wife wS then sleeping with this cousin. I felt like my life was falling apart. I confronted her and said I was going it divorce her.
After a couple of days I thought this was not fair on my mentally ill wife to divorce her, I apologised and told her I didn't want to. I had read up on bipolar and understand the chemical imbalance in the brain and the descision making process is effected.
I have been off work for 7 weeks looking after our children and I am unfit for work (stress). I have fallen out with my patents over the choice not to take my wife to court.
My wife wouldn't return home despite our 4 year old son sobbing his heart out to her. She continued to stay at her cousins house.
My wife said she would come back when SHE was ready, as she was angry at me and didn't want the kids to see her in this state.she's fallen out with her family and friends following her actions.
My wife can home a week ago and has been taking medication (olanzphine)? But she still feels the need to "escape" to her cousins as his wife suffered from bipolar and "he understands her". This hurts me as she tells me they as best friends now, I have tried saying to her I love you and I don't want you to go but she thinks I'm controlling her bad this makes her not want to get back with me. My kid spine after her every night which reduces me to tears (not in front of them). I hVe put the children in to child care for 3 days a week but recently found out I am entitled to £0 child tax credits. So now have a big nursery bill.
I'm falling apart emotionally and financially as I gave my wife £350 (after increasing my overdraft) which lasted her a week as she went out and got hammered.
I don't know how to carry on, it's killing me. I'm doing a good job of looking after the kids - her parents say they are better off with me!
My wife says if we are to get back she needs her space to help her recover, she spends the day at our house then drives to her cousins and stays there, she comes home when the kids wake up.
any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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