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Help regarding depression support (UK)

Posted , 3 users are following.

alex86827
alex86827

I don't know how to even explain my question properly, so I'll start with my circumstance.

In 2014 my daughter was very ill with a bowel disorder, in hospital for weeks. Upon her return home my girlfriend of then 6 years was diagnosed with leukaemia and sepsis. I was told she was going to die, and felt like I was watching her die in ICU. She was in hospital for an initial 2 months and in and out for the following 5 months after for treatment and complications. So during these 7 months I was a lone parent, my daughter going for a major operation and me being the only person to help support both of them. This time is mostly a blank in my memory, I remember very little of it all.

However due to circumstances I had to return to work as soon as the all clear was given to my girlfriend. I didn't have time to process and pushed it all back of my mind. Since late 2014 then after effects have been in my daily life. My daughter has had her final operation and is doing very well thankfully, as is my girlfriend. However signs are still there of the after effects of both their ordeals.

In recent months my mum has also gotten alot worse, having primary progressive MS. I'm ashamed to even say it, but it's like she isn't even her anymore. Her mind is all but gone. I've watched this gradual decline now for 12 years since I was an early teen. This on top of everything has become too much. I get like flashbacks of the 7 months of hell. Of me going to see my girlfriend for the what I thought could be the final time, of my daughter's hardships and my girlfriend treatment. It's all slowly coming back to me. On top of this I work 3 night shifts a week in a nursing home with palliative care. I get stress at home, at work and I just can't seem to come to terms with anything. It has been suggested by a friend it may even be bipolar disorder as of how quick my mood can change.

I have been to the GP and all he has done is give me some antidepressant. I am due to see him again next week, but feel I can't be honest about how severe it is because I can't afford any time away from work. Is there anyone I can speak to or any service that may be of help?

2 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 alex86827

    Posted

    WOW...you are going thru 2 much...I don't think you have bipolar...I think you are overwhelmed..you NEED time off from work...Do you have an FMLA program (Family Medical Leave Act) or can you get a note from this GP to be excused for Termporary Disability and still get pay somehow?

    The US has TDI (temp disability)...if a Dr. puts you out of work you get a large percentage of your pay.

    You need time to take CARE OF YOU...sounds gay...and unrealistic to you but it is totally necessary.

    my heart aches for you.

    • alex86827
      alex86827 Misssy2

      Posted

      Sadly we don't have this. We have SSP (statutory sick pay) which is less than half of my earnings in work.

      We also have state benefits, but due to cuts and how mental health is still not fully considered a disability I either couldn't get it or I wouldn't be able to pay my mortgage with it meaning I'd lose my home.

  • g.90572
    g.90572 alex86827

    Posted

    Your sleep must be very important to you. Let the doctor know how you are sleeping. And guard against addiction. Keep searching for services
  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 alex86827

    Posted

    Very similar to the US....the government pay would be less than half my pay...and athough they DO recognize mental illness...there is NO subsidized state pay.

    They get us all around I guess...and around the world as well sad

  • g.90572
    g.90572 alex86827

    Posted

    Sometimes your employer will have a disability plan. And probably very expensive are insurance plans which supplement pay. If things lighten up earn some time off doing overtime. If your employer takes you off work then you might have to be cleared to come back . hard as it might be think about downsizing or taking in a relative that can help with bills
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