Help, what should I do!

Posted , 4 users are following.

Sitting here reading all your stories and thank God, you have all got through it and on the road to recovery.

I'm here on the search for advise for the horror of my brothers life. He is a single dad to his boy with Austism, unable to work from a work related inujury to his back My brother with un-diagnosed diverticulitis, ended up in A & E with severe abdominal pain, must have been bad for him to ask my mum to drive him (an experience like no other). Had to have emgency operation, where they had to remove half his bowel and fitted a colostomy bag. Cut open from groin to chest. Spent time in ICT, they needed the ICT bed, so while waiting for a bed on a ward, he got stuck in A & E. Naked except for a sheet, no blanket (hot in ICT) not so hot in A & E.

Got on a ward, basically no care or compassion being given at all. He is 41 Years old. Tubes still coming out of everywhere, both sides machines, tubes, drips etc. Pain relief given late every day, has to constantly request it, then it finally gets brought. Then have to wait til it kicks in, for it to then to start wearing off to nothing and the process starts again. Told him he has start to walk, which he has said, if you help me I will. (tubes, wires etc) been in bed now for 3 weeks, so weak and muscle wasting. They are quick enough to get him out of bed to dump him in a chair, but won't give him anything so he can get himself upright. Walking frame to lean on, nothing. Just expected to stand up from sitting position and walk.

He has been complained for the last week, he can't breath properly and noticed a lump under his arm. Being a weekend, waiting til today for a consultant to look at the resluts of the tests that they have carried out to see what they are going to do. Turns out he has a blood clot under his arm and pnemonia. (Probably from when they moved him from ICT to A&E to ward - in nothing more than a sheet)

Due to his back injury he asked for a bed more suitable that he could adjust, to be told they are for the elderly and inferm.

He is now not in very good place, mentally and honestly doesn't think he will get out of the hospital alive.

Me being 65 miles (whole family since he has been in there have had the sickness and diarrhea bug - in one form or another) so couldn't go down at weekends, incase he caught it, 2 kids at school, 1 at nursery and hubby who works all the hours God sends, I can't be with him and fight his corner. My sister tries and complains, but feels like it is on deaf ears. Every visit though it is a stand off over his pain relief. Everyone else in the ward is of the older generation, so he doesn't really have anything in common or anyone to talk to.

Visitors are never there when the Dr comes to ask questions.

What are we to do! I want to go down at the weekend, but now have a cold (run down for caring for averyone else and worrying about him) I don't want to kick off too much, in case his care deteriorates further.

Need help, don't know what to do.

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    That is shocking Lola! Your poor brother and of course all of you. You never said what hospital or area you are in, but that level of care should definitely not be expected nor tolerated anywhere. I would demand to speak to whoever is in charge and get this dealt with right away. Everyone has a basic right to primary care and this does not sound basic to me!! Please do something about it. Even by telephone if you cant go in person. Once they receive your complaint, it needs to be recorded and followed through! Good luck and praying your brother will get the treatment he needs! Keep us posted.
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    • Posted

      Thank you. I've got My aunt (the pit bull) to go up tomorrow to see for herself. She is going to put the balls in motion. Half my family don't speak to the other, so both halves are probably thinking the other half would have already complained. I'm the go between, so I've dictated they both have to complain. My friend has suggested contacted PALS, my aunt is popping in there after, so she get them involved also. Once she has her teeth into something, she ain't going to stop.

      I myself was in the same hospital and had the best care ever. Lucky dip by the sounds of it.

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    • Posted

      Its not acceptable anywhere, but reason i was asking is I am going into hosp for same op in 2 weeks! Getting over half my bowel removed too. I am in Scotland. Hope your brother gets his care prioritised soon as gets on the mend. Wishing you all well. Speedy recovery. Xx
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  • Posted

    I agree with Jane, keep them chased and I am sorry about your bro hope he recover soon. I know it's not easy but it will get better

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  • Posted

    Lola, Go see your brother.  Get a surgical mask and go see your brother.  Try to arrange with your sisters or get a patient advocate assigned to him to ask and answer questions for him.  Someone needs to be there and hold the caregivers (and I use the term lightly) accountable.  He needs someone to talk on his behalf to the medical doctors and nurses and see that he gets the care he deserves.  

    My heart goes out to you and your brother.  Know that the group here is saying a prayer for your situation.  Please keep us abreast of how  your situation fairs.


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  • Posted

    Sorry to hear this terrible story. I don't know where you are but most hospitals in the UK have a PALS service The Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) offers confidential advice, support and information on health-related matters. They provide a point of contact for patients, their families and their carers. There is a link to find the one for your brother's hospital here

    I really hope you get the support you need very soon. 

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  • Posted

    Hello Lola, your brother's situation is by no means a ""one off ""

    If you contact PALS,, you are going down the best road ,They will persue 

    it as far as you want to go .I have used them , and they do get results.

    the word is out ,that you have to shout loud (figuratively ) speaking .to get


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