Help with bipolar disorder

Hi lorena. That depression where he shuts u out I don't believe will ever change ..it's a coping technique which he's had for years. I am the same just can't stop it ..if I was u step back don't rush in, just put a little wall up yourself. My relationships have been terrible because of this. .Theyv been long but ruined. Try talking to him tell him how that makes u feel .. if he's willing to try & talk when he feels that depression comes on. Otherwise you will have a relationship full of breakups .. good luck x

Hi Lorena

I posted something similar a while back. Mine was more a friendship but the guy lived away from me too. We met over the Internet.

My friend was open with me about his bipolar, said he took meds which controlled his moods pretty much and for the first few months I never really saw any signs except for the odd quietness.

Then something triggered an episode and he went silent for a couple of weeks and of course I was worried.

It's now been a few weeks and slowly we have started communicating again but it is different now. He just seems different, less friendly and more guarded. The odd days I do see him back to the guy I knew so I live in hope. And of course as a woman I felt like I have done something wrong.

But all I can say and I am by no means an expert, is harden your heart, if this guy is worth it then just except that it is an illness. Sometimes he will be this lovely guy you met and other times not.

If he opened up to you and let you in then he obviously cares for you. But from what I have read and been told, sometimes you will get shut out as a non essential person. Harsh I know. But they have to carry on with their normal life and sometimes even the smallest thing is too much.

And in the depression stage they feel all the negative thoughts so maybe this guy gets frightened of losing you, like he has others in the past.

It s complex and hard and I know I wanted someone to say "hey your guy will be the same guy you met, that's the real him" But all the stages of bipolar is the real him and it's down to you if he is worth it.

Just be strong, think of yourself too and take care xx

Hi there lorena ....

First of all .... one thing folks with bi-polar are notorious for doing is, once they feel better, they stop taking their meds.   That could be making him unpredictable.  I would definitely talk to his doctor to get his perspective on hos safe this man really is, does he get violent, does he stop taking his meds., is he likely to just "run away" when he stops taking them (I had a girlfriend who did that when she stopped taking her meds.), and whatever other questions you might have.   I'd be very, very, wary of this, even though he is "sweet" at times.   Gather all the information you can .... read, read, read .... talk to people who know him well, read the Mayo Clinic site, and even though his doctor can't reveal personal information about him to you, he can give you an indication of how safe a relationship this could be.    I know, for me, I'd drop him.   I would constantly be concerned when he may stop the meds. and go off.

Barb

Lorena .... please listen carefully to what Sharon just told you.   She's got the real person experience.

Barb

be patient, accept him for who he is but try to educate his behaviour a bit if you think that is possible. Although bipolar characters do not like change, to point out something may help in the long run here and there.