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Hemorrhoidectomy - Life And Death

Posted , 12 users are following.

MaxwellSmart
MaxwellSmart

Please do not take the title lightly...

 

Let me give you some background. I am a 24 year old male who has been dealing with hemorrhoids for the past two and a half years. I have been trying to treat the symptoms with a well respected doctor for the past year with rubber band ligations. He has been in the field for decades, heads the colon and rectal department at one of the biggest hospitals in our state, and literally teaches people how to perform a variety of procedures. Needless to say, I knew I was in good hands. Although these treatments have helped a little, they have overall failed. After many ineffective sessions, my doctor and I began the talk about surgery. He tells me I have two internal hemorrhoids (Grade III). 

 

The amount of turmoil this has caused in my life is absolutely devastating. The hemorrhoids themselves do not physically hurt, but they cause irritation (itchiness, hard to clean, etc.). It has completely sidelined my life for the past two years. Who could think something so tabboo can affect so many aspects of my life. 

Physically, I do not lift weights for a fear of making my hemorrhoids worse or developing new ones. I was in excellent shape and my confidence was at an all time high when I was consistent in the gym. Working out has helped me mentally tremendously. I have always had issues with anxiety and depression. The fact that it is now stripped of me because of this issue just makes me so depressed.

This carries into so many aspects of my life. Work wise, I am unable to perform to my full ability because I am so stressed out from my hemorrhoids and not being able to have a mental release from working out. My boss has even had to sit me down and had a serious talk about my performance. I literally broke down into tears and started sobbing. I admitted to him it was my hemorrhoids and my only option was extremely painful surgery. I've never felt so low.

Mentally, I am at the absolute worse position in my entire life. The though of surgery terrifies me. I literally think about it all the time and it consumes my life. I know it is my only option and I'm trying to build up courage to do it. I've heard all of the horrible things about the recovery. The thought of this has literally kept me up. I rarely get even 5 hours of sleep per night. A few months back, I was up for 5 days straight without any sleep in a manic state. I've never felt so terrible...

But it kept getting worse... Depression has led me to abusing alcohol more than I usually do. I drink to forget. It isn't healthy and I hit my lowest point where I ended up curled in the fetal position sobbing in the shower... The day after I called my mom and had an emotional breakdown...

The thought of suicide has always passed my mind but it was more of a secondary thought. Sort of something that I think about but never really took seriously. But as time goes on, the thought has become more of a reality.

I realized this this is daunting and I have decided I want to fight. I have been slowly been building up courage to schedule a hemorrhoidectomy. To say I'm beyond terrified is an understatement. I have read many stories about the recovery and they are nothing short of horrible. Black out pain. Vomiting from pain. Crying yourself to sleep. Worse than childbirth... The list goes on. I have never been in any serious pain in my entire life. I do not know how to prepare for this. But at this point, I have no choice... Either I get this surgery and fight to get my life back... or I don't and just keep on spiraling into a deeper depression and then do something stupid...

The reason I am posting this is to ask for support. I need it more than ever in my life. I am at the absolute lowest point I've ever been at and am desperately searching for support.

 

Also, those who have gone through with this surgery, could you please offer me some advice, input, or tips that could at least make this entire process for me easier?

I plan on doing an update to this post about how I am doing post-surgery.

 

Thank you sincerely for reading this lengthy post... It's time for me to fight to get my life back!

 

- Maxwell

3 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • mehmood01216
    mehmood01216 MaxwellSmart

    Posted

    Go for Laser Surgery It is less Painful.

    I had done it 20 days ago. Recovering slowly. Pain only during BM. But in general haemorrhoidectomy pain is like all the time after surgery.

    • MaxwellSmart
      MaxwellSmart mehmood01216

      Posted

      I know it may less painful, but sometimes the old fashioned way is the best way to eliminate the problem. I'd rather go through more pain and have a greater chance of success. 

  • lolly125
    lolly125 MaxwellSmart

    Posted

    Max...get your life back. Get the surgery. 

    I’m now Day 19 post op and I’m 95% normal again. I’ve just had my first painless poo. It was uncomfortable but not painful.

    Yes the surgery is painful. The first week is the worst. It feels like a freight train of razor blades passing through and you have to lie down for a couple of hours to recover. 

    But what is a week or two in your lifetime? You can’t base your whole opinion of what it will be like based on discussion forums. People will only share horror stories. Why would anyone start a discussion forum to broadcast how good their experience was? They’d be busy getting on with their life. So take it all with a pinch of salt. 

    I was so worried from everything I’d read but it really hasn’t been that bad. It’s not worse than child birth. I had a traumatic birth - my daughter was born in one hour and nine minutes, so I had no time to stretch and tore like hell. It took two years to recover. This has taken two weeks. 

    Honestly, you owe it to yourself to get this sorted out. 

    Get tea tree oil and put it in the bath, soak in the bath after a poo. Put a few drops on a cotton pad and place it between your cheeks. Eat fruit and soup. Drink lots of water. Wear loose clothing and use wet wipes as they are cool. Get a squirty bottle to spray yourself with water so you don’t need to wipe in the beginning. And stock up on books and box sets to lay down and watch, take your mind off it. 

    It’s a short period of time in the long run and once it’s done, you’ll feel better.

    I understand how you feel in confidence. It’s amazing how something so private and unseen from outside, that no one would know unless you told them, cancompletely affect your self esteem and inner confidence, but it does. And that’s why you need to get it sorted. Can you live like this forever? Sounds like you have a good Dr. He’ll be experienced and do a good job. 

    Take care and don’t be worried. I’ve been honest about the pain as it’s realistic. If you’re prepared for it and not scared of it then you can deal with it better and know that it will and does pass. 

    Good luck x

    • MaxwellSmart
      MaxwellSmart lolly125

      Posted

      Thanks for the response. I have decided to schedule surgery for next friday (12.7.2017). I am beyond scared and am not prepared for the pain, but like you said, I need to get my life back. The past two years have been awful. I'm just so sick of it all.

      Quick question, how often did you take your pain meds? I'm being prescribed Vicodin but am afraid I will get constipated. I've heard to take them every four hours (even through the night). I'll also be taking Ibuprofen. I really hope I can get some Vallium to calm my nerves and also use as a muscle relaxer because I hear the spasms aren't fun.

  • sez123
    sez123 MaxwellSmart

    Edited

    Hi Maxwell

    I had two internals removed 3 months ago  they were grade4 and terribly odematous

    Look I won’t say it doesn’t hurt.  It does ofcourse! It’s just an area you can’t rest. Having said that. Everything gets better!!!  

    I assure you it does !!!

    Make sure you have salt baths for hygiene and relief from post bm pain

    Put a cotton ball or gauze between the cheeks to help with drainage and also change often 

    Take non constipating meds and just keep up the water and fibre.  These steps will help you immensely

    Pls ask ur dr abt a gtn ointment that will speed up the healing.  

    We are all here for you on this site. You’re far from alone

    If ur condition is causing you so much angst just get the op done.  Things WILL get better 

    TKe care my friend xx

    • MaxwellSmart
      MaxwellSmart sez123

      Posted

      Thanks sez123 smile

      I am planning on getting the surgery done next friday. I also plan on pretty much living in the bathtub as well haha

      I can't say I'm fully prepared but I'll try my best.

       

  • gemma198508
    gemma198508 MaxwellSmart

    Posted

    Stress is one of the main causes of hemorroids, along with other causes obviously but try to remain positive. Itl be 6weeks post op this week and I feel fab. Still cautious mind about toilet time but worth the pain. Surgery isn’t painful it’s the recovery but if it’s needed then there’s only 1 week of agony the others are uncomfortable, compared to the years of torture before hand. Plenty of hot baths and pain relief to hand and you’ll be fine. I personally avoided eating to stop me going to the toilet as much, doesn’t matter, you’ll go to the toilet anyway so please don’t do this. It was when I started eating normally again that I started to recover. There’s no preparation needed just to keep stocked up on painkillers, hot water and rest. Even when u feel better roughly about day 5-6 post op don’t strain yourself, I got carried away and ended up in bed rest for a further week. Take all the advice you can and when feeling low speak out. Take care and best of luck to you. 
    • MaxwellSmart
      MaxwellSmart gemma198508

      Posted

      I was ontop of the world before I had this issue. I was so happy. Then these issues occur and tons of stress/negativity came with it. I'm definitely going to live on light soups, vegetables, oatmeal, painkillers, and hot baths. It sucks because I've been a horrible sleeper in general. this past year I'm lucky if I get five hours of sleep per night. And honestly that's attributed to thinking about this surgery. I'll try my hardest to get through this. I have no other choice.

  • nicola21996
    nicola21996 MaxwellSmart

    Edited

    Hi Maxwell,

    I’m sorry to read of ur experience with haemorrhoids too. I am due for a haemorrhoidectomy next month and I am petrified to say the least. I had a stapled anopexy done a few years back, supposed to relieve symptoms but has only made them 10x worse 😪 and was also bloody agony. 

    I just wanted to ask if you had your op done, if so how did it go? I really hope the answer is well and that you now have relief. smile 

    • MaxwellSmart
      MaxwellSmart nicola21996

      Edited

      Hey Nicola!

      Yes, I had my surgery back in early December and since then have been doing well. I'd say I'm 90% there as far as the healing process. My issue now is skin tags and some intermittent irritation but doctor said it may take up to a year to resolve itself. If it doesn't, I may look into getting them removed.

      As far as my surgery goes, I'd say I'm more of the lucky ones. If you search my post history I go into detail about my journey.

      Best of luck to you!

  • Drug350
    Drug350 MaxwellSmart

    Edited

    I know this discussion is 3 years old as of today 10/2021, but I was almost as bad as you were, anxious and stressed out for about a year so concerned about this surgery for my grade 3 internal hemorrhoids and I had really bad mucosal prolapse to boot. I saw several different doctors getting multiple opinions and I tried banding which failed miserably because of the size of my hemorrhoids and because of the amount of mucosal prolapsed tissue.

    I ended up going to the world renowned Mayo Clinic which ran a battery of tests including MRI Proctogram (you're filled with gel and have to defecate inside an MRI machine) and Anorectal Manometry (balloon catheter inside your rectum filled with air) before I had my partially closed hemorrhoidectomy and prolapse surgery.

    I'm about 12 days post surgery and honestly, it was much less painful than I had anticipated. I read all the negative posts and comments too. I was scared to death, but my surgeon said to me:

    "look. I'm not going to sugar coat it. It's a painful surgery. But it all depends on the individual. I've had lots of people go through it and they're back to work on Monday after having surgery Thursday. The people who had a good experience are not going online and posting about how great it was. For the most part, it's the individuals that had a difficult time and struggled that are much more prone to going online and posting their experiences because they're looking for support and answers to their questions. It's only natural. It's human nature. We remember the bad experiences and don't remember the normal experience. So when you read these posts, you need to remember this is not everyone who's had this surgery. In fact, it's a very small percentage".

    I never thought about it that say and it makes alot of sense. Like I said, I was expecting this to be HORRENDOUS. I told my wife "I'd likely be on the floor, crying my eye's out, pounding my fists in utter agony". Instead, thanks to the short and long acting (Exparel) local anestitics that my surgeon injected throughout the my wound, I literally walked out of the hospital, completely pain free, went out to lunch, and came home and worked out for 2.5 hours. The following day, Friday, I mowed my lawn, went shopping, and worked out again another 2+ hours. It was incredible !!!! Because of the Exparel, I was completely numb down there, not able to feel anything, including my balls (LOL). Saturday as the Exparel started to wear off, I started to have pain, but nothing horrible. Nothing the Oxycodone I was prescribed couldn't take care of. After a BM, I'd jump in the tup or sitz bath and even that pain was instantly gone. The hot water takes away 90%+ of your pain. I had no issues sleeping whatsoever. I'm on day 12 and haven't touched any pain med's since day 5. I got myself so worried and stressed out for no reason. I'm truly shocked how much easier this surgery was than I ever expected. I'm not trying to minimize anyone else's pain or suffering. But I do want to post how easy this truly was so that other's like myself, and this initial poster, can read something "positive".

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