Here we go again!!!!!
Posted , 5 users are following.
Crying, screaming, wanting to smash stuff up or myself. just been trying to talk to the Samaritans but can't concentrate or string two words together so hung up. Thought maybe concentrating on tyoing in here might help. Been sitting outside in the cold trying to calm down. Chest hurts breathing calming down now but still feel very agitated. It's going to be ages before I will be able to get to sleep.
1 like, 20 replies
lucylucylucy tina89895
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tina89895 lucylucylucy
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melanie00616 tina89895
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They put me on adrenaline blockers because of my hugh hormones fluctuatons which sent me in to deep depression and I mean deep. I would just stand in the middle of the room and scream - because nobody would listen to me or help, or just collapse on the floor as they had taken my life energy away and cry.
So although not what you are going through I can so empathise with you.
Talking and reaching out is hard - but it so helps, so that you know you are not alone in the world.
All my love.
Mel XX
melanie00616
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Just come back from walking my 18 month old boxer and of course you were fore front of my thoughts. I would so love to take you pain away for you and give you the biggest hug ever.
Any way it come to mind the guy who trained me in the drug rehab, used to be a samaritian. I can remember the story he told me about some one who rung in and couldn't speak, they are used to it love and trained for it.
Any way after a little while they managed to get her to grunt and then open up, slowly. So they are also used to people not being able to string their sentences together etc. etc.
I know at night is when things are at their worst - and I hope this really helps you, you don't know how much I do, that next time if any thing kicks off and you need contact and eventually be able to talk that you could ring the samaritians and not have to go through it alone.
As always, big hugs, Mel Xx
tina89895 melanie00616
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xx
melanie00616 tina89895
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So glad you managed work ok. I so feel for you and know nothing that I say can make it go away only time and healing.
Is there any thing at all that alleviates the pain, if only temporarily like walking - when I was at my worst I would go for a walk and make myself see the beauty of nature. I know it is hard and each minute seems an eternity when not busy, and I wish I could be there to give you such a big hug.
Mel Xx
tina89895 melanie00616
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Tried to keep busy today, even went for a good 2 hour walk, head still feels empty, numb, still cried and screamed this evening I just hate being like this. Should I put up with the horrible dreams and up the cit again to 40mg. Not that I was that much calmer then. Been writing stuff down to discuss with the councillor. I will try on Monday to get a phone appointment I can't keep carrying on like this alone. It does help putting stuff on this forum. It has stopped me a few times from doing stupid things.
Thanks Tina xx
melanie00616 tina89895
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Glad you managed to get out for a walk. Really hope you are better today. I know the nights are the worse, but unfortunately when our mind's are in turmoil the dreams will always come.
Doloroso put about valerian root herb - I have also had that to relax me at night when my hormones were at their worse and it does help.
I hope your councillor can help you to keep moving in the right direction and wish that I could be there to give you a great big hug and tell you it's going to be alright.
Can assure you that things will get better, but it doesn't really help you through the now and then and when you feel like this to be in company, but eventually I have learnt to knit jazzy socks and do quilting. Real good therapy.
Mel Xx
tina89895 melanie00616
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thank you all for the support but i just hate being like this, I don't want to die but I want to feel pain and destroy myself.
xx
tina89895
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melanie00616 tina89895
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I so feel for you and I have been there. Sorry I have been out this evening so haven't seen this till now.
I was in the same position as you and did take a load of tablets, I was left all alone to fight some thing and the medical profession let me down big time as they didn't know how to help me, they had left me far too long on adrenaline blockers and I went to and I mean a really dark place that I just couldn't stand being in. It was right mess and a real chemical imbalance. But my life has totaly changed around I did a lot of research and found the professor I am under now and I am so glad that trying to take my life went oh so wrong.
My friend lost her husband tragically, nursed him etc. She went through the mill as well, but has now got a lovely bloke and her life has turned around.
Please Tina if you really feel you can't go on. Like me hospitalize yourself until you have calmed down and levelled out again - they can help and give you support also at this time and give you the right medication you need at this time and you will rebuild.
I could cry a mountain for you, but promise things do improve.
Big hugs and all my love Mel Xx
p.s. your in my prayers.
tina89895 melanie00616
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I am still here can I pm you?
melanie00616 tina89895
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doloroso tina89895
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tina89895 doloroso
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Just to let you know I am fine and not to worry. Sat cosy and warm in front of my coal fire.
Thank you for the hugs it is much appreciated.
xxx