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Herpes..

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why17877
why17877

I won't say my name because I am still pretty embarrassed.. but I was diagnosed with HSV2 almost a year ago. I was with my boyfriend at the time & we had sex quite a lot, unprotected as well. He ended up going to jail & I don't know what happened in there but he started telling me how he was in pain on his genitals & was getting tested in jail.. awhile after that he told me the drs told him that he had a penile yeast infection & that he was negative for all diseases. Me trusting him & not being educated on herpes, believed him.. he got released from jail about two weeks later & was still experiencing the pain but it had gotten worse at this point. He went to the hospital & I even saw papers from the hospital where it was claimed to have been a penile yeast infection... he went to another hospital for a 2nd opinion & claimed he was told the same thing even though I never saw papers from that hospital. he cleared up & we eventually had sex.. I'll never forget, the first symptom I had was chills & fever but it still never clicked that something was wrong.. I had no appetite & then eventually I noticed an ulcer on the skin between my anus & vagina. I STILL was in denial but I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was herpes when I saw the ulcer. I guess in my mind I hoped it would go away like it never happened. A few days went by & I started to develop ulcers on the inside of my vaginal lips. I had 4 in total. I then knew for sure what it was, I started doing research as well. It all happened within a week & a day. I then notified him that something was wrong, that I was feeling strange & experiencing the same thing he was experiencing. He started talking like he was sad & saying he knew we shouldn't have had sex.. I didn't understand what he meant so I then told him I was going to the hospital. He immediately said to me that he had JUST received a call from the hospital & that we should talk in person (we were texting). I knew he was lying because he had been tested two weeks or so before me & they will call within 3 days of being tested to confirm positive results..(I know because that's how they did me after the swab test) I now know he knew the whole time & didn't want to tell me & purposely infected me. I don't know what his reasons were other than he is pure evil. I tried to stay with him ONLY because I felt no one else would want me or look at me in disgust...I eventually couldn't take it anymore. He is an alcoholic & can't quite remember things so he'd forget stuff or he'd get really drunk & start to blame me & say I gave him herpes from sleeping around & then wouldn't even remember saying it. He'd call me out of my name & just blatantly disrespect me. I left him & he ended up getting locked back up a few months later. I hate him for what he did to me. I wish I never met him & had a time machine to go back in time & fix my fault... I regret it all & I know it's too late but this has really taken a toll on me, I've been on daily antiviral suppressants & I feel like if I ever run out or stop taking them that I'll experience what I did the initial OB (which was the most painful thing I've ever went through) I now hate my life & ask myself everyday "Why me?" "Why'd this happen?" It's not fair to me & I feel like I'm losing it. I don't know anyone else with HSV2 & I can't talk to anyone.. writing this down feels good.

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • tone42388
    tone42388 why17877

    Posted

    I'm sorry that happened to you and it sucks. I know you had a swab and all but usually they just assume it's hsv2 given the location. the fact you haven't had much recurrences leads to believe it's possibly hsv1. that means the recurrences are not many and shedding isn't as much. also 80% of the population has oral hsv1 making them immune to getting it genitally. That's why I asked if you've ever had a blood test to confirm what type it is.

    • why17877
      why17877 tone42388

      Posted

      No, I never got a blood test. I just got a vaginal swab. I'm never really sure if I'm having re-occurrences due to medicine. I think since the initial OB last year I could have had maybe two OBS. I had one small pimple like bump in the same place as the first vaginal sore but I don't know. Is it too late for a blood test?

    • nunyabiz
      nunyabiz why17877

      Posted

      no not too late at all. i'd say go get a blood test. if it is type 1 genital herpes, you can be relieved that, like the other person said, outbreaks dont happen nearly as often and because so many people already have the virus you're less likely to pass it

  • mark50520
    mark50520 why17877

    Posted

    I'm sorry to hear your story too.

    His behaviour towards you is contemptible. More because of the lying and cover up than because of the Herpes itself.

    I would agree with tone that its worth getting a proper diagnosis and finding out whether you have HSV1 or HSV2

    The tests have the opposite issues:

    You need to get the swab done early in the outbreak first 2-3 days or sometimes it will miss the virus.

    The blood test doesn't turn positive for several months so its not worth doing it for a while yet.

    The first outbreak is always the worst one.

    Your situation will get better over time, so hang in there. Remember there are many many people out there with Herpes happily getting on with their lives and so can you.

    It feels tough right now though

    • why17877
      why17877 mark50520

      Posted

      Thank you. At the time the herpes was worse than the lying & deceiving. I was mainly torn because I know there's no cure & that I'll have this for the rest of my life.. I think that's what still gets me. Even though he's gone now I know I will NEVER forget him. I just wish I knew how he got it & some type of explanation or closure. All he'd say at first is that he doesn't know how he got it & or what happened & then started blaming me.. but okay, thank you. I will go get a blood test. I wanna stop suppressive therapy for just a few weeks to see how my OB would be but I'm scared.

  • Jack54122
    Jack54122 why17877

    Posted

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. you will get through this. just keep your head up.

    • why17877
      why17877 Jack54122

      Posted

      Thank you so much. You would think I should be over it by now but even after almost a year I still can't. It feels brand new each time I think about it.. but thank you. Same to you if you're going through it.

  • sam35005
    sam35005 why17877

    Posted

    im sorry to hear!

    if the swab was positive, you could ask your doctor which type it is! because a swab could distinguish between type 1 or 2.

    try not too worry too much and for lots of ppl an outbreak only happens once a year... and is not as bad as the first.

    also, swabs are much more reliable than bloodwork (false positive actually dont happen) so bloodtests after swabs could only be more confusing.

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