Herpes

Hi there, I have currently been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, and never caught any STDs before up until last week I started to feel really unwell, and was very saw down below went doctors a number of times before they actually found out what it was, when the painful blisters started to apear and I couldnt go to the toilet at all, ended up going to a sexual clinic and I was diagnosed with a severe case of genital herpes which made me so ill I had to go into hostpital that day, I had a massive row with my boyfriend and told him he was distgusting for giving me this and that he'd ruined my life, he kept saying no he hasnt cheated and wouldnt admit it to me at all, which the only way you can catch this is threw sexual intercourse right? So I have to have it off him as ive not been with anyone else and id recently got this viral infection 2 weeks after id been infected, I am so heartbroken and thinking so low of myself now and that no one else will want me I know how u feel right now but your not on your own. P.s any advise on what to do with my boyfriend as they say once a cheat always a cheat, hope to hear bk soon x

Hey i was diagnosed in november iv been with my partner for nearly 5 years and didnt have sex for 3 months before my outbreak for personal reasons anyways life is not over yes it does make you feel dirty but your not i promise this is something that happens there are alot more people with herpes then we think some are lucky enough to never have an outbreak

Laura hun you having herpes doesnt mean he has cheated on you he could have caught it from one of his exes but hasnt had an outbreak and may never have one i thought the same about my boyfriend when i found out i had it but honestly it doesnt mean he has cheated.

Andy if you used to have coldsores you will already have antibodies against herpes virus doesnt mean you cant catch type 2 just means your antibodies will help fight outbreaks faster my boyfriend used to suffer with coldsores so he had antibodies which ment he may never have an outbreak but i most likely caught herpes from him through oral sex

There is so much stigma surrounding genital herpes that most people think people that have it must have slept around these people just need to understand it better so for new partners ect get some articles up on google about and look through and read some with them but i will say even using condoms there is still a 2% chance you can pass it on dont let it ruin anything though

I felt really bad when i was diagnosed and i had a very bad outbreak you need to build your immune system up so take vitamins everyday and foods that are natually red in colour strengthen your immune system too this will help against any future outbreaks some people are lucky like me and dont have another outbreak for a while i havnt had one since my first others can have around 6 outbreaks for the few years

Please dont feel bad or dirty these things do happen i looked at it as there are people out there that have worse then this even though this is not curable it is so easily managable xx

Hi and thanks for the advice , I think it's hard not to feel dirty I work with cars and have one now that I'm selling it's an accident damaged car that's been repaired to a high standard in fact you would never know to look at it but the log book states that it's accident damaged so people are put off buying it I suppose that's how I feel about myself right now . Laura do you know for sure your boyfriend cheated like pixie says it could be that he got infected by is previous partner ? I haven't been sexually active for 18 months but if I was I could have passed it on to a new partner without knowing or cheating . It's hard to think back to when i had the cuts ( now I believe they were blisters that burst before I noticed them ) how I was feeling mentally and physically but this outbreak I would say I've been stressed out and even more so now that I'm 99% sure it's herpes which doesn't help either xx

I was the first he'd been with and for the whole three years id not caught anything until 2 weeks ago so he must of done its just hard to believe, I have not been with no one else so its not me and hes only been with me and ive just recently got it so got to be xx

Tbh nobody will ever know when or where they caught it

I know how you feel though i felt exactly the same its easier to deal with it mentally when you are 100% what the results are after a while my blisters went like cuts and i did have a few cut looking sores aswell so yours could have been the same

Give yourself time to get used to it mentally and emotionally stress is one of the things that bring on an outbreak but i promise you its not all bad you will get used to signs of when your about to have an outbreak so you can start on meds to help it before aswell and future out breaks wont be nowhere near as bad as your first few

Honestly i know it feels like it at the minute but its not the end of the world or relationships xx

Oh ok Laura I see , I'm no expert on herpes but maybe pixie or someone else can help but would I be right in saying if Laura's boyfriend had a coldsore and had oral sex with her could that be the cause of her herpes ? I just don't like to say this guy is a cheat until he's been proven 100% to be .

Thanks again pixie I know what your saying and tbh right now I don't have a desire for a relationship or sex but I suppose that's normal when you have this going on . The last 18 months I have been working harder than ever so haven't been looking for a relationship but without thinking about it the plan was to work hard get to where I want to be with work and then relax a little and maybe start dating again now I just can't get my head around meeting someone, having feeling for them and acting on them knowing I could give them herpes :-(

Well woke up today and had dreams about trying to tell people I have herpes anyway in the dream in the end I tried but couldn't do it . The girl that's wants to date me , I think I should tell her on the phone tonight , won't be easy but tbh since I found out I might have herpes ( I think tbh there is a 1% chance I don't ) I have become distant and At this time I don't want to date or have a relationship and it's not fair on her not to tell her IMO . Anyway I have woke up in a more positive mood , I never let anyone push me about and I don't take shit from no one so why should I take shit from herpes ? I haven't had sex for over 18 months and for that time I have managed so why should it change now ? If I have herpes I have had it all the time and it's not really effected my life the odd flare up but tbh it's nothing compared to what some of you guys have experienced . I work really hard and long hours and the past few months I have been slowly changing my diet and have stopped drinking fizzy drinks , haven't had a fizzy drink since November and feel better for it .i hardly drink now as tbh I can't be bothered with the hangover and i always end up all stuffy and can't sleep after a drink because of a blocked nose . So now I need to keep on this path of a healthier life style and I should be able to keep this under control . Also from what I have read I need to try keep my stress levels to a minimum which with work tbh will be a bit harder but I enjoy a challenge lol oh since coming on here and the advice I have been given and info I have read it can flare up from , stress and drinking . During this flare up I have been stressed the flare up before that I had a heavy drinking session with my dad and friends ,the next day is when I noticed the blisters for the first time . So maybe if I step up with the healthy life style I'll keep this to a minimum either way my attitude today is f**k you herpes ! I'm going to make it as difficult for you to flare up as much as I can ! Who knows what tomorrow will bring and how I feel but one thing I know is I don't give up and I'll do everything in my power to stop this effecting my life as much as possible xx

Good for you hun when you have dealt with it mentally you realise it doesnt affect your life obviously maybe the odd outbreak but in time they will become non existant tbh im stressed quite alot with working and having a 3 year old and iv been ok its different things for different people but dont let it get you down you never know this lady might understand and see past it people with herpes still go in to have very happy relationships

Good luck to you hun i hope its as easy for you as it has been for me i know i have been very lucky with outbreaks apart from my first which was very bad but since then i have had the odd sore but nothing major and lasted a matter of days

Xx

Thanks pixie tbh I'm not even sure a relationship is right for me just now , I've been single because of my work commitments and although I miss being close to someone ie sex but not just sex I mean having someone to come home to cuddles up with etc I feel I'm so busy with work and other family life I can't give a relationship 100% and tbh not sure how I will feel about having sex for the first time as it's defo not on my mind at the moment but I think I would find it hard to get the idea of what if I affect her . Again thanks for your advice pixie , it's all been taking on board and I'm going to put it all into practice , already started to take vitamins as I had some in the house . Xx

When the times right and the persons right it will be so easy to tell them

In the meantime u just focus on you and getting you better x

Yeah that's what I'm going to do I need to look after myself . Got a lot of emotions going on just now and I just want to tell her the situation and tbh I hope she runs for the hills . That might seem strange but I don't do self pity and I don't want her to feel bad for me either I just don't like people feeling sorry for me .Maybe I'm wrong in wanting her to run for the hills but it makes things easier , well that how I feel at this moment in time xx