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herpes

Posted , 6 users are following.

darshan
darshan

So far I have told 2 people I had herpes and is causing a problem they didn't want to see me again...should I ever have sex again? with people who don't have herpes? I'm really confused.. and get very few outbreaks ..what are their chances of getting herpes from me when I don't have an outbreak.. are they greater when you have an outbreak or not...I have never had sex with anyone when I had an outbreak I never really thought about it that much until recently... I already have enough issues about sex and now I have to add one more

2 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • booboo87
    booboo87 darshan

    Posted

    I have had herpes for 9 years hun and I've had 2 relationships who I have unprotected sex with and I never passed it on to anyone hun like you said as long as u don't sleep with them when u have a outbreak they would be fine I get the same response thou hun and I think to myself there just small mined people x
    • darshan
      darshan booboo87

      Posted

      Thank you..when people fear having a disease I think it's understandable especially sexually transmitted diseasesit's scary to them
    • booboo87
      booboo87 darshan

      Posted

      Yea hun but they should read about it before judging we don't ask for what we have but we have to deal with the hand we got dealt hun I hate living with it as I have the HPV virus aswel and it makes me feel sick one day we will get men/women that will understand and all we need to do is wait hun xx
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken booboo87

      Posted

      Booboo.. Please stop spreading inaccurate information that is putting others at risk. Please go educate yourself if you are going to provide medical advice. Providing emotional support is one thing, but your info is so baseless and if you think it is so accurate, please back it up w resources. You are putting people a t risk, even if you intentions are genuine. I'm shocked that you've had it as long as you have and ypu are so poorly misinformed. Please, I encourage you to go yo the other website I mentioned as well, as it is very discerning the information you are spreading. Just the other day you were saying HPV and herpes are the same and that doctors call herpes HPV in the UK. Out of the 6 mo this I've been on here, I've never seen a moderator come in to direct someone on proper information. That should tell you something. Please honey, I urge you to educate yourself and if you have any questions please feel free to PM me, hut this cannot continue.
  • feelbroken
    feelbroken darshan

    Posted

    Omg, WOW.. Do not listen to booboo.. She continues spreading baseless information that outs people at risk. This is an argument people use, who choose not to disclose to sexual partners typically.

    You absolutely can spread it when you are not showing signs and symptoms. 70% of cases, someone caught from an asymptomatic carrier, which means they shed virus and display no physical symptoms or signs. This is called asymptomatic shedding and it is estimated to happen 12-30% of the days.

    Arw you male or female, so I can provide statistics for you?

    Also, please Google H Opportunity. This website has disclosure pamphlets yo download, has accurate info, unlike this person who continues to spread ignorance on this site and can't backup any thing she says, as she did this on a Post yesterday and was proven wrong and had to eat her words. Please check out the site, it has videos to help you through a proper disclosure, the top notch herpes clinic and specialists w statistics. This site is great for medical info, aside from a few bd apples on here spreading bad info, but this other site is specifically for people in your situation.

    • darshan
      darshan feelbroken

      Posted

      Female..ive had it for 30yrs maybe..i got diagnoed 3yrs ago..i went on g opportuniy..it is helping
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken darshan

      Posted

      Why do you think you've had it for 30yrs? That is so long and why just now being diagnosed? May I ask how long you waited to disclose to them?
    • darshan
      darshan feelbroken

      Posted

      well ,when I mentioned it to the man i dated 3 years ago he freaked out.. it got me thinking about it..previously to that I would just tell someone if I had an outbreak.. it didn't seem like a big deal to me.. maybe I was ignorant, but it didn't try to deceive anyone I only got maybe 3out breaks a year ..something like that.

      I got diagnosed 3 years ago and it started thinking that I need to tell people about it. I told someone about it the other day and he flip freaked out and not seen him anymore.

      Also my sex lige is sporadic..i often go more than a year without having sex...

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken darshan

      Posted

      OK.. But I'm still not sure why you say you had it for 30yrs, but only got diagnosed 3yrs ago?

      So what you're saying is, you didn't disclose to sexual partners your diagnosis and when you did w one person after sleeping w them already, they freaked and left you?

    • darshan
      darshan feelbroken

      Posted

      I'm saying what I said above about my sex life being sporadic.. I'm saying I didn't get diagnosed until 3 years ago ..I'm also saying I had sex 2 times since my diagnosis three years ago and I told someone after I had sex.. I guess I just haven't been dealing with it because as I said maybe it's denial but I didn't have many outbreaks didn't have a lot of sex ,or boyfriends so please do not judge me,t's okay if you do I guess I prefer you didn't..lol I feel I know I have to deal with it in a much more direct way
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken darshan

      Posted

      Yes, I'm sorry honey, but the mete fact you believe you've had it for 30yrs is indicative that you chose to be in denial, because you didn't want to deal w the ramifications, of disclosure. Obviously this is terrible and I don't think I need to give you a scolding, as I know you know better. Everyone should be given the option.

      He didn't reject you because you have herpes, he rejected you because you LIED. You took away his right as an individual, to make the choice to be w you. I have 6 gfs w herpes and only one has experienced rejection when she was very you g, yet he was still willing to sleep w her, so clearly it was just an excuse and he wanted sex.

      Wow darshan, that's a long time to go w out disclosing to partners. I sincerely hope you change your ways, it's not OK what you're doing.

      You'd be amazed at how positive some people will respond w the proper disclosure, such as stating how much they mean to you, so you wanted to be honest w them, etc, etc, tends to make people see how much humility, integrity, character and courage you have as an individual, to have such a hard conversation w them and you respected them that much to tell them the truth.

      I hope you find those traits deep w in yourself to start being honest. I apologize if I cannot be more supportive or feel bad for you, as it was someone like you who lied to me and didn't give me the choice, so I can not feel bad for your rejection, cause your rejection wasn't from a place of honesty, but from a place of deceit. I don't know where you live, but it is illegal in the UK and the US to knowingly pass herpes onto someone and not tell them before hand. In fact, there is a man going to prison for 14 months I believe in the UK for doing this.

      May god bless your soul and give you the strength.

    • darshan
      darshan feelbroken

      Posted

      why do you feel it's necessary to tell me how I'm in denial ..& therefore judge me as I said.. I didn't think out it very much and I didn't lie either,,, he rushed me .. I really haven't had to deal with it until recently When other boyfriend freaked ..I have told people in the past and I've had it they didn't freak out..you really don't need to preach to me..or jeep judging..the site is not the only way that I'm going to deal with this..
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken darshan

      Posted

      YOU said you were in denial and I simply agreed w that statement, because you said you had it for 30yrs and because you were in denial, you didn't go get checked till 3yrs ago.

      I'm calling a spade a spade. You did not tell him until after sex, it's called lying by omission. I am going off things you said.

      o·mis·sion

      əˈmiSH(ə)n,ōˈmiSH(ə)n/

      noun

      someone or something that has been left out or excluded.

      "there are glaring omissions in the report"

      synonyms:exclusion, leaving out, exception; More

      the action of excluding or leaving out someone or something.

      "the omission of recent publications from his bibliography"

      synonyms:exclusion, leaving out, exception; More

      ---->>>>a failure to do something, especially something that one has a moral or legal obligation to do.<----------- that's="" what="" you="" did="" synonyms:negligence,="" neglect,="" neglectfulness,="" dereliction,="" forgetfulness,="" oversight,="" default,="" lapse,="" failure="" you="" came="" to="" a="" site="" asking="" for="" advice="" and="" i="" am="" trying="" to="" show="" you,="" you="" were="" not="" rejected="" necessarily="" because="" of="" having="" herpes,="" but="" rather="" taking="" the="" choice="" away="" from="" someone="" and="" i'm="" sure="" he="" felt="" betrayed.="" i="" wanted="" you="" to="" see="" the="" difference="" in="" that="" its="" not="" because="" you="" are="" "dirty="" and="" tainted",="" but="" rather="" likely="" due="" to="" your="" own="" omissions.="" i="" also="" am="" not="" the="" type="" to="" butter="" things="" up="" and="" tell="" someone="" just="" want="" they="" want="" to="" hear="" and="" based="" on="" your="" response,="" that's="" clearly="" what="" you="" want.="" you="" don't="" want="" to="" be="" told="" you're="" wrong="" or="" be="" held="" accountable;="" you="" want="" everyone="" to="" feel="" bad="" for="" you="" and="" tell="" you="" that="" you're="" the="" victim="" of="" a="" jerk,="" but="" in="" reality="" you="" hid="" this="" from="" someone="" and="" i="" am="" simply="" trying="" to="" show="" you="" the="" other="" side="" of="" things.="" how="" about="" the="" fact="" that="" he="" may="" catch="" this="" and="" didn't="" have="" a="" choice="" in="" it?="" most="" of="" us="" on="" this="" site="" didn't="" have="" a="" choice="" and="" your="" lack="" of="" understanding="" and="" conscious="" in="" that="" is="" discerning.="" i="" just="" want="" you="" to="" better="" prepare="" yourself="" and="" be="" honest="" in="" the="" future="" and="" sometimes="" being="" told="" the="" hard="" truth="" isn't="" fun,="" but="" if="" you="" want="" someone="" to="" tell="" you="" that="" you="" did="" no="" wrong="" and="" he's="" a="" jerk="" because="" you="" exposed="" someone="" w="" out="" the="" choice="" in="" it;="" then="" i="" will="" keep="" quiet="" if="" you're="" here="" just="" for="" a="" pitty="" party="" and="" not="" for="" real="" life="" advice.="" you="" came="" to="" a="" public="" forum="" for="" advice="" and="" i="" gave="" you="" support="" and="" i="" also="" gave="" you="" some="" perspective="" from="" being="" the="" other="" person="" that="" wasn't="" given="" a="" choice.="" next="" time,="" post="" that="" you="" only="" want="" to="" hear="" agreeable="" advice.="" at="" the="" end="" of="" the="" day,="" you="" can="" only="" grow="" and="" heal="" when="" you're="" honest="" w="" yourself,="" even="" w="" the="" bad="" side.="" i'm="" not="" always="" the="" most="" tactful,="" but="" i="" come="" from="" a="" good="" place="" whether="" you="" see="" it="" that="" way="" or="" not.="" if="" i="" didn't,="" i="" wouldn't="" spend="" so="" many="" hrs="" every="" day="" responding="" to="" every="" heartbroken="" soul="" on="" this="" forum,="" because="" my="" heart="" does="" break="" for="" them,="" but="" i="" am="" also="" a="" believer="" that="" sometimes,="" tough="" love="" works="" and="" needs="" to="" be="" heard.="" i'm="" not="" judging="" you,="" judging="" would="" be="" a="" preconceived="" notion="" w="" no="" evidence="" to="" support="" my="" opinion.="" i="" provided="" opinion="" off="" of="" what="" you="" said..="" i="" didn't="" say="" anything="" you="" didn't="" say,="" yourself.="" it="" was="" the="" word="" "lie"="" &"deciet"="" you="" didn't="" like...="" at="" the="" end="" of="" the="" day,="" that="" is="" what="" omissions="" are.="" nobody="" makes="" things="" happens="" too="" fast="" that="" you="" can't="" stop="" and="" say="" something.="" we="" have="" to="" take="" accountability="" for="" our="" action's="" at="" the="" end="" of="" the="" day.="" hopefully="" you="" can="" reach="" w="" in="" and="" see="" another="" side="" to="" this...="" i="" know="" it="" can="" be="" hard="" to="" be="" objective="" w="" ones="" self.="" hugs=""><3>

  • paul92131
    paul92131 darshan

    Posted

    Darshan, if you are looking for medical advice, feelbroken is definitely worth listening to.

    I have recently told somebody what I have after having protected sex with her a few times before. She took it very well and we are still dating. This was my first time I've had to tell anyone, as I haven't had a sexual relationship in the 4 years of having this. I can imagine the rejection being hard to take, but there is people out there that will except you for what you are not what you have. I can't offer medical advice, as it all confuses the hell out of me.

    The way I now look at it is, people need to know and once the do and they except it, things seem to feel semi normal again. A feeling that I thought I would never have again when I got diagnosed.

    First positive and I'm sure you will find someone.

    • darshan
      darshan paul92131

      Posted

      Thanks Paul.. I am definitely going to deal with it differently... I had told people that I had herpes in the past and no one freaked out and I had told them when I had an outbreak not that we couldn't have sex and they did not freak out so this is all new to me and I will be dealing with it much more directly as I said..
    • flawbeautifully
      flawbeautifully darshan

      Posted

      Hey Darshan,

      I am new to this whole process i Have just recently found out i have hsv2 Friday afternoon.....i told my bestfriend and my partner......though im scared to tell anyone else i jst need someone to talk to im not ready to face this i still cant quite believe it honestly im trying to cope and be ok i jst dont knw wat to do😒😞😢

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