Herpes almost ruined my life

My boyfriend (of 2years) was coming up, quick shave below and off we go to the bedroom...2 days later a single sore lump appeared on my outter vagina lip...I thought nothing of it and a day later the whole side of it had swollen into a painful lump... little did I know what was ahead of me. 

2 days later I was in bed, the pain was unbearable, I couldn’t walk, sit, sleep, eat , and over one hundred blisters appeared all over my privates which were swollen, red painful open wounds, within the coming days these blister became nasty and filled with pus. I started googling my symptoms and started to realise I’d contracted herpes, my boyfriend explained how a few days after seeing me he got his usually coldsore. I put two and two together and self diagnosed myself with herpes 1. That night i couldn’t bare going to the toilet, the pain made me cry and I could close my legs as the open ulcers were on fire ....the next day i booked into the gum clinic with an emergency appointment. This was the best decision I made, one for piece of mind and two for the advice- the only thing that worked for me during my outbreaks was the advice to pee in a hot bath (disgusting) but this was my savour. The doctor looked at me and confirmed it was herpes. I was sent away with numbing gel and antiviral tablets, nothing really worked, I’ve read so many things on here and nothing worked for me, looking back I’d of been safer accepting it just had to run it course, one week later and I can now go to the toilet without it burning and the ulcers are starting to dry up and heal over. 

Emotional I have struggled. I’m in my early 30’s in a very stable relationship and I don’t see myself with anybody else, even though he gave this to me from his coldsore virus I felt dirty and ashamed and felt he wouldn’t want to touch me again and that our relationship was doomed. The doctor confirmed it was herpes 1 a week later, he felt awful about this , I however felt relieved, the one least likely to come back, the one the doctor advised me i don’t have to tell future partners about, the one 80% of the population has inside them (albeit somewhere else), the one my boyfriend won’t catch because he already had it and it won’t transfer the his penis. 

I think from my experience id Like to share, it’s one of the most painful things you will go through, it takes up to 2 weeks (1 week of fire pain)  to recover, you will feel low, there is no quick fix, it’s a virus it needs to run it’s course, it’s not your fault... infact you picked this up because you didn’t have  the virus antibodies 80% of the population carry about, hot baths are your friend.  

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