HERPES,the end of sex??

i get a flare up maybe 3 times a yr,,just 1 ulcer on it,,and no other effects so the suppressants not really needed,,but knowing i carry it is enough to make sure i dont get intermate with someone,,would never forgive myself if i did pass it on

I completely understand how you feel.. I felt after telling him very strongly, that I could never be w someone who doesn't have it, cuz I wouldn't want to put them through what I went through. With that said, I did not have your normal reaction and still don't. I've had it for 5 months. My first ob was so bad, I got severe neuropathy down my buttock and back of legs, along w shooting pain to the sores, rectum and inside vagina. I was in so much pain I had to go to the ER, where I was prescribed nerve pain meds and narcotics.. Took days yo take effect and I still couldn't sit up for 2 weeks. I can't go pit drinking late and miss my pill or I will break out. So it could be worse.. My vagina has never felt the same since I got it. It feels like I always have a sunburn down there and I take daily suppressive therapy. I'm lucky if I go a day w out some symptom that reminds me I have it. It is not uncommon for me to feel a prickly feeling at my tailbone for a min every now and then, or an itch or like something is crawling under my skin.. I feel I'm active constantly.

Regardless of the fact that you rarely have obs.. The meds reduce transmission rates by 50%.. That means it reduces your asymptomatic shedding, which is when most people spread it, because they are symptoms free. Most people are more accepting of the risk when you explain that you have methods in place that scientifically prove, that it reduces their rate of transmission by a lot. So it's your call. Is taking medication daily harder than not getting sex? You tell me what's worse to you.  We all view things differently.. 

like i said,sex never mine rels are very difficult for me,,i was 11yrs totally single bringing up my son.and since i found out i have herpes have been single for 5 to 6 yrs...i wouldnt even have put anything on this page except my ex gf(before i had herpes) got back in contact. maybe it is best to cut contact with her again..whatever meds whatever precautions,,if you have sex ,you can pass it on,that is not worth it for self gratification to me..just my view

Yes there always is a risk, but I have plenty friends who have never passed it to anyone... Not even in a 10yr marriage. Using condoms and meds makes for like a 6-8% chance of contracting it. I completely understand what you are saying and I felt the same way when I recently ran into an old flame and told him. He didn't even flinch when I told him. I reacted worse about it and thought how I'd never be w anyone who didn't have kt, cause I couldn't fathom putting them through this. I think that your insecurities and fears are driving you and you're looking for a way to back out of this w her, to avoid possible rejection. I get it.. I avoid relationships at all costs.. I've been single for 4yrs and i was celibate for over two when I caught this last July and it was devastating for me.. I already have abandonment issues and now this adds to that fear of rejection, but if I thought you were doing the right thing, I'd not say anything. I think it's a risk worth taking. Most people this does nothing to or is just a minor skin condition. You can do this.