Hi, have just joined this site.

That really depends what happens when you try not to drink, Gillian. If you get physical withdrawal symptoms, it would be dangerous to stop wothout medical help and you would need an alcohol detox.

Hi Gillian , you really need to stop drinking altogether or certainly cut down on your alcohol intake- drinking in secret is never a good sign-you obviously feel guilty about the amount you are drinking-only you can decide whether alcohol is a problem in your life- by posting on here and posing the question you have is a fair indication of your thinking in this regard- perhaps you should see an addiction counsellor or certainly talk to your GP if you think you can- i am a recovering alcoholic, as such i am loathe to tell people how they should treat alcohol in there lives-for me it became a real problem- i too used to hide drink and conceal how much i was actually drinking- certainly i think some professional advice willl help you greatly- if you are drinking heavely dont suddenly stop- not a good idea-actually very dangerous- talk to a health professional before making any radical change- try and address the issue in your own mind-be honest with yourself- do you want to quit? do you need to quit? can you quit on your own? how negative an effect is alcohol having on you life? if you can answer these questions honestly you should have a cleare answer to your question- how will i stop? i wish you the best of luck- keep posting and let us know how you are getting on- any support you need will be here for you-

Hi Gillian, it will be difficult to get help without your husband knowing, i wonder how much you are drinking and what effect it has on you, if your husband is not aware of your drinking- is there an underlying anxiety issue or some other reason that makes you feeel like drinking in the evening- it may be worth your while exploring this scenario - 

Hi Gillian. I have a lot in common with you. I only drink at night (daytime maybe if I'm not working); I can restrain myself going out but can really hit the bottle back at home. I've hidden a lot of my drinking from my husband, but he knows about it now. How do you stop? I think the key is to understand why you're doing it in the first place, which is what I'm struggling to do. I think I have a lot of anger towards my family and seem to take the self-destructive route to deal with it. Could it be anger or depression or are you seeking some kind of outlet to escape a life you're not that happy with. For the record, I have gone cold turkey in the past (my drinking can easily be one to two bottles of wine a night and sometimes spirits) and had virtually no withdrawal symptoms other than tiredness and irritability - but everyone is different I guess. I've taken up running and play sport to help me come off alcohol and calm the aggression and anger. I always feel so much better afterwards. Hope this helps.

 

Hi Gillian and PS to my last reply: I just wanted to add that you've mentioned twice about being a designated driver and the only driver in the family, which is why you only drink at night. I'm really glad you are taking a responsible attitude to driving. I'm exactly the same. I'll make sure I'm well-stocked up with alcohol and cigarettes at home so I'm not tempted to take the car out and get some more in desperation. One time my husband unexpectedly got stranded a couple of miles away late at night. I had been drinking heavily but couldn't admit it, so I took the chance in the car and ended up in an industrial estate totally hammered and confused. I promised my husband I would never risk drinking and driving again. It seems to me that if you can control your drinking in order not to drink and drive you have some level of self-control and discipline which may help you give up drinking during the night. Good luck.