Hi...i'm not an alchoholic but I love an alchoholic. I'...

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Hi...i'm not an alchoholic but I love an alchoholic. I've spent two years researching, invested all my time and energies to find a "cure", away to beat the alchohol addiction thats ravaged the man I love. Some of my research has led to many explanations of why alchohol has this affect on some people and not on others. There are so many reasons, explanations, excuses, that counsellors, psychologists, scientists, docters and alchoholics themselves believe in, in a desperate bid to unlock the "secret" the big question "why does alchohol do this to me"? One day not too long ago while I was browsing the internet for answers I came across an agony aunt, her name was Anne. The way I was feeling I just poured everything out to her in an e-mail...well she was a stranger, she didn't know me. A few months later once again I was searching the net and I happend upon the same site and was completely shocked to see a reply to my e-mail. It was lengthy and basically said similar to what I have up above, but she changed my life and my boyfriends with her reply. She explained that any addiction no matter how bad we think it is can be overcome, I started to get butterflies in my stomach as I carried on reading, desperate to get to the part which would give me the answer....then I read the following sentence: Yet I repeat: if the person is determined to overcome addiction and demonstrates this by persistently seeking and accepting trained help, s/he can do so. It was with this simple sentence that I reaslised that everything we do is down to our own individual choice. As a result I gave up smoking because it was my "choice", and it was also my choice to stop researching and let my boyfriend make his own "choice" to so I stopped helping him and I let him go, and he did make a "choice" to stop drinking and he also made another "choice" to drink again! The only way to stop any addiction is when you choose to....it all stops and starts with YOU.

[i:525184e35b]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:525184e35b]

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    I COMPLETLEY AGREE WITH THE ABOVE COMMENTS MY MUM HAS SUFFERED WITH ALCOHOLISM FOR JUST OVER 10 YEARS EVERY HELP POSSIBLE HAS BEEN OFFERED BUT IF THAT PERSON ISNT WILLING TO RECIEVE HELP THERE IS NOTHING FAMILY, COMMON LAW PARTNERS OR FRIENDS CAN DO BUT LET THEM GET ON WITH IT TILL THEY DECIDED ITS TIME TO GIVE UP AND FACE THE PROBLEM HEAD ON!!!!!!!!! ITS SO FRUSTRATING FOR THOSE AROUND TO WATCH BUT I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED THERE IS NOTHING MORE I CAN DO IF MY MUM ISNT PREPARED TO HELP HERSELF!!!!!

    [i:055d5af07c]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:055d5af07c]

  • Posted

    I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. MY FUTURE HUSBAND HAS BEEN THROWING UP SINCE IN JAIL. I BEGAN TO DRINK WITH HIM ALMOST 10 MONTHS AGO AND I REALIZE THAT I WAS JUST DOING IT TO BE ON THE SAME LEVEL AS HIM. I WANTED TO FEEL WHAT HE APPARENTLY FEELS WHEN HE DRINKS BECAUSE HE SEEMS TO NEED TO ALL THE TIME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE BECAUSE THE FACT REMAINS THAT HE GETS ABUSIVE AND DOESN'T REMEMBER THE NEXT MORNING WHAT HAPPEND. OR MABEY HE DOES BUT DOESN'T WANT TO ADMIT IT. EITHER WAY I AM OUT OF IDEAS AND HE GETS OUT OF JAIL IN THE MORNING SO I REALLY HOPE THAT 15 DAYS OF SOBRIETY WILL HELP AND WE CAN STOP SLOWLY KILLING OURSELVES. I HATE TO DRINK EVERYDAY IN EXCESS I NOW FEEL HEALTHIER SINCE WORKING OUT AND NOT DRINKING BUT WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN HE GETS OUT IF HE DECIDES TO KEEP DRINKING AND HURTING NOT ONLY HIMSELF BUT EVERYONE AROUND HIM?

    [i:f9dcd305ce]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:f9dcd305ce]

  • Posted

    My husband is an alcoholic but he wont admit it.It has taken me a long time to stop fighting for him, and I only managed to do so about 10 months ago after being told that he was going to die and there was nothing I could do to stop it. He drinks first thing in the morning to last thing at night and eats very little, finding excuses why he does'nt like the food. I know all his reasons and expect them but it pains me to see him killing himself. ...we have been married for 28yrs and have no family.

    I dont think that anyone knows how sore it is to watch and know that there is nothing you can do, except for people in the same circumstances.

    In my humble opinion,,,society does not look kindly on alcoholics because they think of the disease as self inflicted and the cause of major expense to the national health service, maybe they are right, or maybe not, I don't know or care because my day is taken up with looking after my dying husband who does'nt know why I cry.

  • Posted

    [b:27db6c5cf7] :cry: well dusty i feel so humble after reading that i have just lost my dear brother in law to the same he was 52 we had to watch him die and it is not nice . he stopped eating also and was so thin , it is such a sad and lonely time , thing is people judge all the time and they shouldnt , you can only support him and be there through the good and bad times god bless you . and a merry christmas to you both [/b:27db6c5cf7]

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