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Im so scared at the moment. I suffer with health anxiety so anything health related is hard for me but this is the toughest period I have ever been through. I know this sounds really stupid but I should have been having mammograms for the last 10 years but have never been. I have stuck my head in the sand and convinced myself that if I dont go then I dont have to deal with the results. Breast cancer is my biggest worry (although it is only one of many). My breasts have been quite painful off and on for years and sometimes if something brushes against them I think I can feel something. I also get tender feelings under my armpits sometimes and recently I feel like theres something in my neck when I turn my head. I dont self examine, like I said I just ignore and hope for the best. I have now had a call for a mammogram and I have promised my family I will go but to say Im terrified would be the understatement of the century. My thinking now is that, if as I think there has been a problem for years, then its going to be too late now to do anything about it and if thats the case then I would prefer not to know. I know all this sounds really stupid and people wont understand my way of thinking but I cant help it, it has totally taken over my life now and Ive had enough of it. Thanks for reading, I know its a bit long-winded.
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