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Hi no help no idea of my illness

Posted , 2 users are following.

chris56723
chris56723

hi all new to this but here we go ! Many years ago 20 I was sectioned given loads had electric shock  treatment injections got better few years later I ended section for many months and many times. 

I have now come out and spoke to the police about my abuse in school at 12 onwards beaters grooming and later after I left I was raped and later assaulted sexually .

i sort of get very depressed and very angry and very parioniod and have highs when I got money to spend and I haven I have some one watch me get food that I need at this present time , I have tried to kill myself many many times I know it's a cry for help but I really don't like being here I get horrible voices and nice ones and I see and feel ghost around me and I get very very low feel like i should not feel unwell get very upset and feel ashamed I can't look after my kids , I have a plan to end it but I can't get to that point as I have so many issue getting to that point. 

Although it's easy to sa this I do feel I've never had help this time doctor gave me tabs I said make me feel really suicidal and he said see you in a month lol well there we are then .

my life I'm 45 single male living alone and have friends come here to get me showered and feed and try and get me help.

a social worker told me I would kill my self by accident lol I said yeah well that it's folks any ideas , I hear voices see things get high and very very low hate everybody get very upset cry a lot help..

chris x

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • lucynewas
    lucynewas chris56723

    Posted

    Firstly you've made the right step in seeking help.  There is a group for adult survivors of sexual abuse (ASCAdotorg). I can't put the link here, or the message will take ages to be screened - and if you haven't contacted them already, I would suggest you do so.  They will be able to signpost you to the right services and support you through your journey.
  • chris56723
    chris56723

    Posted

    Hi I've contacted police and currently I hate the mental health team I don't trust them 
  • Angie5474
    Angie5474 chris56723

    Posted

    Hi Chris, 

    Firstly I would just like to say I think your very brave and I know it must of been very hard for you to write what you did on here. After reading your message all I wanted to do was give you a big hug and let you know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel as they say, even tho to you it doesn't feel like there is right now.  I to was abused as a young child by my step father and Ive also tried to take my own life and yet I'm still here fighting on everyday and not getting the right help I need just like you. Its a lonely world when you suffer from a mental illness and people around you like your family and friends really don't understand what your going through. If it is ok with you I would like to help you find the right help and support that you so desperately need right now.

    Take care 

    Angie

     

  • chris56723
    chris56723

    Posted

    Hi it's Sunday today and family friends stayed over xmas I'm still here , I did plan xmas Eve at 12 midnight to end my life but it's jan and in still here it's nice to have company I did have to call mental health unit again to discuss there letter regarding my abusive calls to duty team and they said in the letter my doctor does not feel I need a appointment lol I think my shrink has a issue with a man saying he wants to kill himself and refuses to section me .

    funny one one day I will end my life but at lease I hope many lives can be saved by myself and other people how have took there lives for these mental health suppose pros acting like its a laugh at my major depression , they say I have these illnesses but it's not ok to shout about it .

    i hope when I see the police and get a decent shrink as Dr Ellis from Cwm Coch hospital is a horrid doctor and my voices and me deserve to be heard ..

     

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