Hi please help

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Hi everyone I've been suffering with anxiety and health anxiety and panic disorder for a few months now and I'm struggling so bad! I lost my nan who was my mother figure a year ago and only recently major anxiety issues have come flooding in I don't know if that was the trigger or If it's other things. I've been to the doctors I explained how I felt and got purscribed diazepam 2mg and fluoxetine. I took them once and had a major panic attack because I convince myself the side effects will kill me or I'll be allergic to something in them so I can't take any medication other than kalms even on them I panic and they don't really work. I had an ecg and one blood test and they came back clear I also had a second ecg when I had cold symptoms and convinced myself it was something sinister so had another major panic attack and called an ambulance after googling my symptoms and it came back heart disease it was the worst feeling I've ever had I was certain I was going to die and I'm only 18 years old. Everyday I wake up anxious, I have anxiety attacks all through the day and constant health anxiety any slight tingle or sensation that don't feel right I'm in a state. Then in the nights I usually have panic attacks going to sleep thinking I won't wake up I try to monitor my every heart beat and it feels abnormal all the time I often feel like my heart skips a beat and it frightens me so much along with the racing heart, sweats (hot and cold) shaking and constant dizziness and blurry vision my chest also feels so tight and like I can't breathe in! It's taking over my life I never see my friends anymore because I don't know when a bad one is going to strike and it's hard because in high school I loved my life I was so outgoing wanting to party and be out but now I'm even scared of alcohol as I feel not in control of my body as it is and to go from being that type of person to this one I don't know what to do with myself I feel like I'm loosing sanity. I live with my boyfriend and feel like he gets annoyed with it and misses the old me like I do but he of course doesn't understand as he doesn't suffer from it. My biggest fear is dying and I constantly feel on the verge of death it's awful! Plus my family network isn't strong. Also I was wondering if it's possible to get a brain scan off the nhs as that might help a bit if I know there's no Tumour? I'm sorry this message is so long I just don't know where else to turn! I'd be so grateful for any reply x

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Charlotte. I also have changed drastically since late last fall,winter set in,i was alone often as my kids are grown and husbands job takes him out of town. I am actually having some health issues so being that I pretty much just stayed home most the winter the worry about my health consumed me. I even lost a friend of 30 years as in times when i needed my so called best friend,she never called to even ask how I am. I was very social,dinners out etc. Now i feel trapped by this health issue and my anxiety. I rarely go anywhere,this is not me. My husband doesnt understand either. Just wanted to let you know I understand alot about the fear and anxiety especially about health. You lost someone very important in your life,thats so tramatic,youve been through alot. I hyper focus on my health issues,you probably are doing the same with the physical symptoms of anxiety. I like you want to have tests done so at least maybe i can get over my biggest fears about my health and get on with life. Are you on any medication. I take an anti anxiety med which does give some relief. I think i need a good physical exam. Hopefully you will feel convinced soon that you have nothing to worry about. Stay strong.X
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    • Posted

      Hi thanks for the advice it helps to know other people feel this and that it's sort of common. I'm sorry to hear about your story it sounds really tough! I was prescribed meds but at the moment I'm terrified to take any thing in case of an allergic reaction or anything like that that's how bad my health anxiety is at the moment and i get really panicked quit fast over a minor thought the things that go through my head are crazy! I do advise to get some tests for your own piece of mind nothing else! Good luck and thank you x
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  • Posted

    I see you do have a med,why not take a half dose til you get used to it.
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  • Posted

    Are you on the pill or afraid of becoming pregnant.are you worried about healthcare costs? diseases you're worried about don't usually strike at your young ageask your doctor for low dosages of Medicineare you worried that your partying days are overor have caught up to you
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    • Posted

      Hi I'm not on the pill and I suppose I'd be scared if I fell pregnant as I worry about health so much. I live in Britain so nhs care is cost free just very busy. I'm worrying my party days are over due to my anxiety and always being terrified something is going to kill me that's why I stopped any partying. I'm also afraid of medication so pointless in me getting any
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  • Posted

    You have had a few traumas in your life by the sound of it and maybe like me you deal with them at the time you plod along then your body says enough is enough we dont realise but it will build up espescially when you have no support i have gone through this for many years and this last time has been my worst but when i look back the last twelve months i have lost two friend to illness (early 50's ) there has been so many youngish people in the town where i live passed away and of course all these celebrities, I am coming to the surface withissues from my past and im going through the menapause. I am 53 and when people your age are dying you wonder and worry about your own mortality. so now in the last couple of months after being on citalopram for about 3 months now im seeing things a lot clearer i have had all the symptons of anxiety depression and stress all rolled into one and at once so my body couldnt cope and this is how it manifests. you believe you are coping but if you are sensitive like we are then bam!!! does it hit you. I had three months of crying every single day I couldnt lift my head out of the black cloud and when people started telling me i wasnt me and looked ill i realised i had to do something. Im really blessed that I have a good family the doctor im seeing now is lovely and understanding and im going to start cbt next month.I use aromatherapy oils such as bergamot lavender or patchoui (they help calm you down are anti depressants and anything with orange or grapefruit in oils are uplifting these are all natural but seek advice on how to use them and check if you have any allergies. I have cut down on coffee and anything with caffeine and i drink chamomile tea. these are just little things that do help also bachs rescue remedy from most shops you can take as many drops as you like and it is quick acting when you are very anxious. medication is good once it kicks in im on citalopram any anti depressant takes usually 2-6 to kick in yes initially they make you feel worse this is because they are renewing/replacing your cells in your brain for the seritonin these are the "feel good cells " in your brain which make you happy when you are sad unhappy or low its because your seritonin levels are low. Im not trained but i get my doctor to explain things and how they work. some of us will live with this for most of our lives when we can acknowledge this we can then think right how can i best manage this so i can be happy and cope better. I also do meditation and breathing exercises this was taught to me by a yogi . I cant tell you what is best for you my love but the things I have mentioned have helped me i will do anything that will help me manage this dreadful illness and learn to cope. sometimes our loved ones dont know how to help for years my husband didnt but I kept a lot to my self but now I couldnt ask for a better husband hes very supportive as is my children and i believe that is a big key factor in supporting anyone going through this. I have explained to my manager and the good thing is she has a sister who suffers a lot worse than i do but she is so supportive as are my small team of collegesI know others arnt so lucky so i do count my blessings. please feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to sorry its so long but I hope i may have helped you in a little way with a bit of reassurance you are not on your own and this is a really good forum with supportive people
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    • Posted

      Hi sue your advice is good and I will be sure to try some things you recommend. I know exactly what you mean by the people in your town passing and the celebrities a few young people have passed away in my town to one girl my age of a brain tumour so it really does make you ask yourself how long you've really got and it shook me up badly as I knew the poor girl she was lovely. That's another reason I really want a head scan so I have that reassurance because my whole life has been effected and I feel really alone and damaged I've lost my job and can't focus on anything because of this disorder I just want to feel like that happy girl I used to be I feel like a stranger to myself it's scary. I sit up most nights crying until I fall asleep I rarely sleep until early hours 4/5 if I'm lucky, all my friends party and have fun on holidays and I feel so left out I miss out on a lot because of this cruel disease. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles it really is awful. This I feel is the only place people know how I feel and can actually relate! I will pm you soon if you don't mind thanks for your help x
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    • Posted

      I dont sleep til like 5 am now. My own fault,i try to keep my mind off things,love listening to pod casts while laying in bed. I think I stay awake because thats when im not alone in the house. Husband is out the door anout 5 thirty and then i sleep til right before he gets home. Luckily I have a dog that doesnt mind my schedule. My days and nights are upside down.
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    • Posted

      HI Sue, this is my first post on this site as a new member, I have been having panic / anxiety attacks for over a year now with frequent visits to my doctor over this period . I had several sessions of C.B.T /counselling and things did improve for a while

      Although never went away completely, over the last few months I have been experiencing the same things again and if anything more frequent ,the worst one being today, I am beginning to feel like i can,t control them as well .I don,t know what triggers these attacks but I do seem to worry more about my health(I am now 68)and the passing of friends and family.I don,t really want to go down the route of taking medication but wonder if this will ease the symptoms.I have done a lot of the things you have suggested , cutting out caffeine , drinking herbal tea. I joined a gym as exercise is supposed to help but nothing seems to stop the anxiety.My husband/family are very supportive but hard for them to understand how you really feel that's why I thought I would contact people who really understand my symptoms and could offer some friendly advice . Thank you or listening.

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    • Posted

      Hi,i resisted meds for years. I now take them. Whats worse taking a med or keeping the extreme anxiety. I now take meds,I know I need them. I still have anxiety but it does help me deal with it. Xx
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  • Posted

    Hi Charlotte - seems like you're having a very bad time at the moment.

    Could you give the medication another try - the side-effects, if you get any, will definitely not kill you. Try to overcome this feeling and take the meds.  Love Tess

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  • Posted

    Hi Charlotte

    Somehow you have to break the circle . What I mean is to get help you need to take the pills which at first you will get side affects . I've been on sertaline now for 2 years and I also used to freak out at the slightest symptom. You need to keep telling yourself every second its a side effect to battle through to let the tablets help. I find diazpam and sertaline work well. I'm at the stage now where I'm just chill out and relax and can see how silly I was . Don't forget your stressing yourself. Give the meds chance so it helps they help . If you can convince yourself theres a problem you can convince yourself theres not ..

    Good luck

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