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Hello everyone. I want to be as thorough as possible on this.
Back story: I suffer from severe anxiety for a year now. Mainly about my health. I am a hypochondriac and I always think something is seriously wrong or that there will never be a “cure” for what I’m feeling. A year ago in March 2017 I had my STD results show positive for HSV2 (never had an outbreak) but since then my life felt like it was over. My anxiety and depression was at an all time high. I got insomnia which was the scariest thing ever. I didn’t sleep for 3 nights and after that every night was me worrying about how I can’t sleep so I hardly got any sleep. I started going to counseling and just started to believe I could sleep and then it eventually just went back to normal. I had an overactive bladder which I thought would never go away. I had top of the head headaches everyday so I thought I had a brain tumor, and this list goes on and on. If it wasn’t one thing it was another. Then a month or 2 later I started to notice a dull pain in my upper right abdomen. And I also noticed after drinking liquid the liquid Would stay in my stomach and I would feel it sloshing which both are still present till this day. So that worried me a lot. I went to the doctor and they told me to get an ultrasound, I did, and everything was ok. So I had a little bit of peace of mind and I carried on. I still had the intermittent pain and sloshing but I just dealt with it. Months move past and it’s December of 2017. I had another bout of insomnia randomly and I don’t know why. I didn’t fall asleep that night until 4:30 am. And there I was laying there thinking “it’s back, I’m an insomniac again” which I don’t rwally think I am but my mind convinces me I am. So after that night I was scared throughout the day that I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I had one sleepless night and most nights after I would just struggle. Finally it was starting to go back to normal again and now we’re in February of 2018.
So February 13th 2018 I got home from work on a Tuesday night. I was hungry (I’m not the healthiest eater but it could be worse) I went to McDonald’s and got a couple of things. I ate it all and I felt something I have never felt before. I had extreme discomfort at the top of my stomach almost like it was stuck. I got up and started to freak out. It almost felt like I just needed to let up a burp and I would be fine. I couldn’t burp! And I felt so sick. I tried throwing up but I couldn’t. So that night I was the most uncomfortable I’ve been. A horrible feeling at top of stomach/bottom of chest and a constant burpy feeling. It lasted the whole next day and I was depressed about it. I went to the doctor February 14th (next morning) and told her about it. She said the only way I could really see what’s going on is if I had an endoscopy done. I was really scared to set it up but that’s a whole different story. I set on up for the following Friday the 23rd. The doctor also told me I needed to get my anxiety under control so she prescribed me buspirone 5mg. They haven’t worked yet. It’s been almost 2 weeks. So everyday until then I was so uncomfortable. I was scared to eat because I didn’t want my “food to get stuck and feel sick” so I would drink water. I lost a lot of weight. And everyday I felt depressed and lost. I convinced myself that I will always feel this way. I would be up all just googling what was going on and I would stumble across these patient forums and read stories of people who had similar symptoms and that they did every test under the sun and on different meds and nothing was working and they still felt awful every single day. Well that terrified me. So all day I would think about how I will never not feel sick again. It was affecting my everyday life. Especially at work. There were days I work I would panic when I started to feel sick and I would walk around praying for it to pass. I knew I needed to eat but I couldn’t. I would nibble on little stuff each day but never had a full meal. Out of no where I felt like I mad a “mucus bubble” to the left of my throat so I swallowed to get rid of it, only it didn’t get rid of it. My anxiety amplified it so I got up and started freaking out. Then I felt like I had post nasal drip but it wasn’t dripping down my throat it just felt stuck. I also have no sinuses. So I was subconsciously swallowing everyday to get rid of the sensation but I couldn’t. So then that started to depress me. I thought it would never go away and it’s still present today. So I did research on that as well and found something called “LPR” it’s basically when the acid from your stomach comes up your esophagus leaving your throat to feel like you have mucus. I read that people had it for years and it doesn’t go away so then there I go worrying myself to death again. But I was just hoping that it would eventually go away. So every morning I would wake up feeling down about EVERYTHING. And just feeling lost and that i would never feel better. So fast forward to my endoscopy on the 23rd. I went through with it and they found a “small hiatal hernia” and some acid. And prescribed me pantoprazole to take everyday before breakfast. I was happy to finally find something out. But then I started thinking about the forums I read about how even after doctors visits and medication they still felt sick. So I let a couple days pass just trying to not focus on my mucus throat or discomfort at the top of my stomach. There are moments where I don’t feel the icky feeling of nausea and discomfort and I start to think “yes, I will get better” then the feeling comes back and I feel stuck all over again and I start to think the medication won’t help. It’s only been day 3 since meds and I haven’t noticed a difference. I then start looking up hiatal hernias on the internet and I saw that most don’t have symptoms. Only larger ones may have symptoms. And then I remembered the doctor saying I had a very small one. So then there I go, worrying that it’s not the hiatal hernia making me sick everyday and it’s a mystery problem that will never get solved. I called the doctor and told her my symptoms and said that the hernia shouldn’t be causing those symptoms and just to wait until the medication is up. I also started getting middle of chest pain and tightness which also freaks me out because I have never had chest pain! So then I would start to convince myself that it’s just the reflux. Which by the way I never have a “burning” feeling. So I’m assuming it’s silent reflux. So if hiatal hernias shouldn’t be causing these symptoms what is going on in my body!?! I sit and think about it and get so depressed and think that I’m going to live in discomfort every day. I feel nausea that stems from the top of my stomach and I also forgot mention extreme belching every single day. The only way to get a little relief is when I continually burp. Does anyone else have these issues? Will my stomach discomfort, nausea, stuck feeling, mucus throat sensation ever go away? I feel anxious x1000 every single day. I can’t even have a positive thought because the negative is taking over my brain. I couldn’t sleep last night and I am so worried and don’t know what to do! Please give me advice. I pray everyday for an answer
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