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mari34228
mari34228

Hi, not diagnosed but have had previous 'episodes'.

Have been weaning of cymbalta, now off it completely (and not on anything else). Have been low and had 's' thoughts (not saying it as will have to wait for moderation!) for a long time. Anti-depressants not helped me in the 3 years I've been on them. Haven't had a properly distinct high/odd(!) episode while on them.

So anyway, last two weeks I can only describe my mood as very elevated. I've been super positive and WAY more confident than normal: depression lifted entirely. More energy (though still with fatigue, but I do have Fibromyalgia). I've been getting showered every day, walking the dog, making meals, cleaning, decorating, thinking about starting Open Uni again. I have not been able to do these things in a very very long time. My daughter was basically caring for me previously. This has been a complete turn-around in my energy levels, motivation and outlook on life. But nothing in my life is different to what it was like before...it was just me that changed. Had days where I was so 'up' I couldn't stop talking and was positively in hyper mode. My confidence and outlook was so changed by the weekend past that I applied for loads of jobs (even though I've been completely incapable of work for the past three years). Then I landed a job interview yesterday. Well I didn't go. My mood has crashed. My energy has crashed. Motivation dwindling. Negative thoughts are back. Despair is starting to take over again. No reason for the change. It's just all gone again.

Any thoughts? Was meant to have second psychology appointment yesterday but cancelled as I was meant to go to the interview instead. Seeing her next week now. Feeling really stupid and embarrassed now to be honest as I had clearly gotten carried away with myself, and now I'm going to have to explain why I cancelled. 

Does this in any way sound like hypomania??? Like I said, this is not the first time I've experienced marked shifts in mood, but it's the first one in a long time that I can clearly identify.

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • mari34228
    mari34228

    Posted

    Oh, and my anger/irritability has been getting out of hand again these past couple days, especially at night....was intensely angry/raging last night...quite frightening really.
  • luciana1731999
    luciana1731999 mari34228

    Posted

    Hey mari! Ive had BD type 1 for years now my first episode was when i was 11 , im about to turn 19.

    In my experience i had very "pure" episodes until i started treatment and i was put on loads of medication and not the right ones.

    I ended up having 2 hospitalisations and i was in a inpatient facilty center three different times. 

    Everything that could be wrong was going wrong until i met a psychiatrist a couple of months ago . He put me off all the drugs and gave me lithium and nocte which is a sleep medication ( because i have the tendency to go up) one thing i can tell you is my new doctor told me that BD is treated with a. Lithium b.lithium or c. Lithium .... he also told me how bad it is to be badly medicated and that medications such as antidepressants which i had taken in the past are the worst for BD. 

    Find a good doctor , medication is key for the disorder and is more helpful than therapy . Although congnitive therapy is a good option to learn to identify your moods and do your best effort with the help of the right medication : to control the mood swings.

    • mari34228
      mari34228 luciana1731999

      Posted

      Hi Luciana, that's good you have found the right medication...and psychiatrist! I'm about to turn 42 (ugh! 19 doesn't feel so long ago...how did this happen!?! cry) and had my first 'episode' of what I think was hypomania at 17. Then a horrible depression. Those were clear episodes for me. Since then I know I've been up and down over the years, but it's all a bit blurry as I guess I wasn't really paying proper attention to what was happening to me. I identify with what I've read about BP2 symptoms more...it would make a lot of sense to me if that was what I have. 

      Good luck and best wishes for your future. X

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