Hope Someone Knows What I Mean

Thanks metamorphed. It is how I feel. My hands have peeled lately, probably because of the weather going from warm to cold and back again. But for me, I sat with my stomach churning thinking horrible things. Or my toe nails have started hardening and pinching a little. Everytime I think about it, I start to panic. These are just two things that ordinarily wouldn't bother me but everything does now.

It started for me back in 2012, (or should I say that is when my anxiety took a huge climb on the scale). I had Anaemia for the first time ever and I've always suffered very heavy periods, so much so that no amount of tampons and towels together made it better. So of course when my blood tests came back, (showing two types of Anaemia I believe), at first I just thought that the bleeding and my age had combined to give me the Anaemia. The doctor innocently asked me if I had any trouble with my bowels, digestion, even extra gas. I said no. He then asked me again, (I think he was surprised at how low my levels were), but that's all it took and off I went into full panic. I then started with panic attacks and was so bad one day that I had to speak to the doctor on the phone as I couldn't calm down. Since then, anything innocent is a threat to me now and I worry about my children and husband. I'm so scared all of the time. 

I have a friend who is similar to me and I've sent her the link to this forum and told her that I was sure she'd feel so much better knowing how you ladies here feel. 

I see people who've seen me feeling off it and they'll ask me if I'm feeling better. I say yes, even though I wanting to say.."I don't know" or.."not really", but we don't want to look like moaners so we pretend. Makes me wonder if some women who're classed as hypocondriacs are actually just very frightened, not knowing what is wrong with them so they ask a doctor. All they want is reassurance. I just wish more people had a better understanding of the perimenopause/,menopause. They might then realise just why we feel like we do. 

Hi buggly

Yes, knowledge of this is hugely lacking!  It's ridiculous.  I have to laugh at the term, 'going through the change' as I'd always heard it said through my life.  That gives the impression that this delicate change is taking place and you might need to lie down once in a while.  Well, it is more like being injected with some sort of toxic substance and you jerk and spasm until it's gone from you.  

I woke this morning with a red eyeball, for no reason and I just looked in the mirror and thought first of something crazy serious and then had to calm and tell myself, it's a red eye.  Never before all this started would I have thought anything of it, just popped some eye drops and breeze out the door.  

This is a toxic state to be in,  never a day goes by good or bad that I don't say out loud, 'I HATE THIS'.

Just keep saying this to yourself and out loud and shout it if you have to to beat those anxious times.  Shake your fist at yourself in the mirror and say 'you won't beat me'.  Yeah others might think you're a hypochrondriac or gone mad but hey, tell them you're toxic. 

I believe that is a lot of the problem. A lot of people just seem to not understand peri/meno at all. It wasn't until I found this forum that I even knew all this existed. I was suffering and my aunt told me to research peri. I still suffer but at least this forum helps me to vent to ladies that understand. It gets tiresome telling people and docs how I feel when test come back normal. They think I'm crazy. Even though the tests come back normal which is a good thing, that just wasn't enough to me. These symptoms were coming from somewhere and I wanted to know what the heck was going on, just someone to listen and understand without telling me im ok and it's all in my head.

Sure I've had heavy cycles that started coming every three weeks, lasting 7 to 8 days, extremely sore breast, mood swings, exhaustion that felt like I could never get enough sleep, headaches and more. Never paid any of that stuff any attention as I thought it was just pms and part of menses, until these symptoms became intensified along with new things going on with the racing heart, weird head feelings, internal tremors and buzzing, increased gas and indegestion, and anxiety that I never had before, along with some weird cycle changes, you name it, I've felt it and my docs still manage to tell me I'm too young for meno.

I'm over it and just taking the suggestions that I receive here and seeing what works for me. I thank God for this forum and these lovely ladies. I would still be a partial basket case going to the ER every day like I was. I truly understand where you are coming from.

Toxic is a good way of describing some of the symptoms we get. just lying down for a while isn't enough unfortunately and at the same time, we're trying to act 'normal' which is enough to blow anyone's valves. 

My eyes are stinging and dry right now as I type and it's probably because we've been decorating and the radiator gloss is strong but I'm panicking over it and thinking negatively whereas a few years ago, I'd have just put it down to something and nothing. I'll try what you've suggested and keep saying that to myself. Lol, maybe telling them I'm toxic might make them listen a little more. Worth a try. Thanks again metamorphed x.

My mother-in-law suffered, even hubby, who normally doesn't take much note of things like this has told me so. Yet, when I mention it to her, it's almost trivial. I don't get it at all, unless it's just a case of, 'oh it can't be that bad'. It ruddy well is though. I agree in that we want the tests to come back normal, it just leaves us scratching our heads even more and of course some doctors just chalk it up to us being dramatic or not knowing what we're talking about. It's not all in our heads at all.

This forum has helped me loads in the last few weeks and I have it on my laptop as a permanent window so I can just come to read it sometimes several times a day. 

For years my boobs didn't hurt but wow, I know they're there now. i say it a lot but my husband is amazing and I'm lucky that my mum and sister are supportive too. Mum still has hot flushes and she's 77 this March. It does help. Thanks Jamie for your posts and good luck with your appointment. Let us know how you go on. It certainly helps me to see how other ladies have gotten on x.

Hello and thank you,

I actually can remember my mom going through this when I was younger, she went through the heart racing where she would come in our room and ask if we thought she ate something that made her sick, anxiety to where she would panic and run out the house, hot flushes, and if there was anything else she didn't mention it. She doesn't like doctors so she never went. She just endured it. I really believe she didn't know about peri enough to go see about her symptoms. It wasn't until I started experiencing these things and at the ER every other day that brought it to her attention that she went through it but didn't know what it was. I just hope I don't have years of suffering before full meno.

Wow, your poor mum. I remember my mum's hot flushes and heavy bleeding. I think it affected her anxiety wise, but she didn't mention it, it's just me looking back on how she was. I think my mum is the same, she only visits the doctors even now if she absolutely has to but she would have gone if she'd have known more about it while she was suffering. Thankfully nowadays, we at least have the internet to use and great places like this forum to learn from. I feel sorry for how it was for my mum and countless others who just put up with it. I don't know how they did it. I too hope that I can get through the perimenopause without enduring it for years. It's mentally and physically draining for us ladies. I'm jealous of the women who sail through it.

It truly is physically and mentally draining. It's hard to deal with. I was thrusted into these symtpoms so abruptly not realizing that I was already in peri for at least 3 years and not knowing was how I got to where I came into the horrid part of these symptoms . I must admit that if I had more knowledge, I might have been able to recognize sooner than I did.

It is Jamie. Getting the message out there is vital so that other women, (and even partners/family), have a better insight into the symptoms. Partners and family could be helped so that they understand how we feel. Support and understanding is paramount. We feel bad enough as it is. You wouldn't have had to research like you have if you'd have had the knowledge from the start. Thank you x.