Hopeful but very scared
Posted , 6 users are following.
Dear all,
I've been ill 19 years (since age 25) and was dignosed with ME/CFS many years ago. I am now 44 and living in Sweden.
Last summer I had a turn for the worse and together with everything else I could no longer stand for more than a few minutes at a time (weakness and pain). I decided to apply for disability (again). After a scare with a(nother) terrible GP (it's all in your head), I ended up two months ago with a young doctor who immediately said she thoght I had PMR and prescribed prednisone.
It has been a journey since. When I first read about PMR nothing fitted (I'm way too young, have (and have had) many more symptoms, lack some of the others) but as I have read more and followed this forum I have become more and more convinced it's really vasculitis: PMR and probably GCA/TA too. Suddenly everything is coming together. It's just such a relief to finally have been properly diagnosed with something that has a treatment.
Speaking of... I did not react to 30 mg/day but with 40 mg after three weeks it was like lifting a veil. Suddenly after almost 20 years I woke one morning rested. And I could think! I would get up in the morning and just LIVE a whole day. It was amazing for two weeks. And then it passed, and now I'm as bad as usual. I'm still better in some ways (mentally) and falling asleep lots faster, but I am ever so exhaused.
I have an appointment with a specialist next week, but I am so scared. I know it's irrational, but the fear that I will be met with contempt or mistrust is just overwhelming. I am so scared they will say they can't or won't help me. That my GP is wrong (as I do not fit the typical criteria) and that further investigation is useless and that they won't prescribe medication that could help.
It would be too much after having "tasted" health after so many years. It would be so cruel. People have assured me that if properly diagnosed and treated I will be completely symptom free. It's almost too good to be true.
I am sorry for this rant, but I really do need all the support I can get and I've seen how wonderful you are with each other. The waiting and anxiety is drivning me crazy.
Thank you for this group, it has helped me lots already.
Love,
Marie
4 likes, 16 replies
MrsO-UK_Surrey marie09535
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