Hopeless again and going back on Naltrexone

Thank you Missy, I've missed you as we are both very alike!

I was so sober and strong last year and thought 2017 was going to be amazing, being sober!! How wrong I was. I've managed a week or two sober, but can't do it. I've now turned to beer rather than wine!!

As the hangovers aren't as bad!!

2weeks ago I was drinking everything..beer, wine, vodka..because of a big hit with owing money I couldn't handle my emotions...but of course..it just set me back MORE....

I always lose 2 weeks of my life when I drink...one drinking..one recovering...and this time recovery is a little bit longer than a week.

The older we get the harder it is...to take the beating alcohol gives out.

Yes I agree. This year I've had a few days here and there being supermum, pretending to be happy...

I'm not happy at all.

I'm very unhappy actually. That's why I drink. It makes me happy for a few hours that's all. Then...well you know then

Hi there Paper - glad you have returned.  Pretending to be happy - gosh yes and don't we get good at it.  I feel very unhappy but no one knows, except you guys.  Yes drink makes me happy also - for the evening and then morning comes    It is just such a struggle - you go a few weeks 'behaving' and then you long for release and to calm the ever roaring mind and, for a few hours, it is bliss.

The only thing we can all do is keep at it otherwise we know the outcome.

Blip and start again, blip and start again, blip and start again.

Blinking tiring both mentally and physically.

Keep strong you guys as I am doing.xxxx

Paper, I'm sorry that you've been through so much struggle with this. What kind of side effects were you getting from the Naltrexone? 

I know how you feel Gwen, somehow you find it in yourself to stop for a while and then come crashing down again. Either way it has to change for all of us, it is hard though. My partner has said that he does want me to join them in Scotland so i need to use this time to get better. Drinking, even one small sip is not an option for me when i do go to Scotland. I couldnt do it to myself or to them. Really lost it there for a while over the last few days. Yes there was drink and a lot of it. I have more or less holed myself up in the house for over a week now and i am miserable. God there has to be a better life than this for all of us xxx

Ohh Ouch on that telephone conversation.  I take it he means he does not want you there if there is any alcohol involved.  You are in a horrible situation.

Hugs bud xxxxxx

Thanks for replies. Been sleeping a lot so sorry for the late reply. Waiting for a call from my doctor, hoping to get some diazepam to get back on track. Then decide whether to go back on campral or naltrexone. Will keep you posted. The evils of addiction...

How do I find your link ?

Yes indeed, evil stuff - I wish I came out with boils or something at every glass as I am vain and that would boot me up the backside.

Here you go . Save you looking.

https://patient.info/forums/discuss/how-i-dealt-with-my-dependency--570251?page=0#2613928

How are you doing, Paper? 

Sorry I've not replied earlier and thank you for replies..

Rayboy, thank you so much for the link. It will help so many people X

ADE, thanks for asking how I am. I went to Drs and got Diazepam but decided against naltrexone once I felt better. I don't think I can go back to feeling rubbish on it again. I took it for a long time in the past. Plus I'm not sure it would work for me now anyway as I've drank on and off since x

Missy..hope you're on the sober bus and yes we do lose 2 weeks of our precious lives..insane!

Gwen.. thank you and how are you?

My problem is being on my own. My daughter has been with me, uni hols, for 10 days. If I drink she goes to her dads. So I've not been drinking and really enjoyed her being here.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm always going to have the odd binge. Im not like I was when I was on seroxat antidepressants which made me psychotic when I drank. I do binge occasionally but I don't do stupid stuff, get suicidal or end up in hospital, as I did a year ago. My family don't worry about me now.

I'm not cured but I'm better. If I drink I have depression and anxiety for a week afterwards. I choose not to drink 90 percent of the time.

I hate AA after going there for nearly 4 years. Listening to people stuck in a time warp! I believe you have to be positive and move forward. Not keep going back. I've not gone for 18 months and I'm doing ok.

Bless you all on your journey x

Aww lovely to hear from u - I am ok - if u can say that about an alcoholic - wow depression and anxiety sucks - I have it - but still trying to control it - yep I binge at weekend - otherwise no zzzzzzzssssss - hard work tho x

Aww bless you Gwen...you're controlling it so that's fantastic xx

Your doing well to have cut down so much and have come a long way. So well done. I know what you mean about AA it wasnt for me either but there are other things we can try as i am sure you know. Drinking over the last 3 weeks gave me massive anxiety and my life isnt in a good place right now for a lot of reasons. But i have stayed off it for 4 days now and am starting to feel a little stronger. Keep going with what your doing as you have done well.

ohgosh this just tells u how committed we are  x