Hoping to chart my progress here.

It began as a few beers at home last Friday which was fine as I didn't drink too much. But I repeated again on Saturday and then again on Sunday. Sunday was where I ended up drinking too much.

Since then it has been 12-14 units innthe evening. I haven't tried stopping yet because I was mentally drained from the previous 2 week effort. I'm going to have to have a re-think soon on what to do

By doing so what you want to prove? You are keeping track that you taper off the habit and again relapse and when you have some serious health issue, you will count the number that how many times you taper off previously? Life in sobriety will not be the same as life living with substance abuse - believe me it will be much better than previous. Relapse is quite common. But the journey of sobriety is beautiful. Once you over come the drinking habit, you will win the fear.

Recovering from a drug or alcohol addiction can be an extremely challenging task. The fact is, the treatment of addiction is much more than simply quitting the drug. There is no clear-cut ‘end’ to the treatment of addiction. there is no single treatment solution that will work with every type of addiction. Even individuals who are addicted to the same substance might require different

forms of treatment. Families and addicts struggling with the effects of drug and alcohol abuse require continuing addiction recovery in the form of ongoing sessions for spouses, children and parents to attain a successful aftercare. I truly support you JDorian.

Good Afternoon and Happy New Year!

I have re-read what I wrote in this thread over the last couple of months and it makes me cringe because they are the words of an alcoholic that never had any intention of quitting. It was just another of my empty attempts to quit so that I could satisfy myself that I was trying and continue drinking.

It was hard after the relapse. I began to see no way out because drinking wasn't sustainable anymore because I began struggling to just keep up with life.

The levels of drinking went down. I moved over to beer and was probably on 3-4 pints on average but had lower days and some much higher days!

I went on holiday on Boxing day and when I got back on 30th I had my last drink. I decided I just couldn't face this perpetual cycle I'm stuck in anymore because tapers fail and there is no medical help until 2nd Jan at the earliest and I couldn't face anymore drinking.

So 30 Dec was my last drink. I went cold turkey and have been 5 days sober as of yesterday. The cravings have been strong but I have the same conversations in my head everyday and the cravings then go away. Fortunately I only have one strong craving a day and if I beat it I don't really feel the urge anymore for that day. But I keep fighting as I don't want to go back to day zero again.

For now it is just one day at a time. I'm not bothered about tomorrow or the future but getting through today sober and then will deal with tomorrow when it arrives.

Thank you to everyone for the support and input so far.

Hi JDorian, well done for 6 days of sobriety! It's the same with me. I went cold as I can't just have one drink, or count them - always end up having too many after the first. Like you I am not a fan of medication, if I can avoid it - plus there are different reviews about all of them. Have a look at Allen Carr's programme, it takes an entirely different approach - a change of mind set if you like. That said, it's just one more way at looking at your relationship with alcohol, so maybe use it in combo with other methods or not. This is your journey, so your choice.

My biggest problem at the moment is insomnia, so hoping that will pass soon but I have no desire to drink at all. Good luck, keep up the good work and take care of yourself that's the most important thing. xx

It's been a while but in the end it did not work. I was ashamed that i failed. But instead of making another thread i want to carry on updating this one on a daily/regular basis.

My situation is the same as it was over a year ago when I started this. At the moment I am frustrated as I don't want to drink but still do. Somehow I seem to end up there.

My attempts have not worked. I'm going to need help. So my plan for now is that in the short term I need to focus on cutting down to a level where whisky literally hasn't taken me over. And that to be followed up by the suggestions I received above. I am going to start reading up on what the treatment is and look into how to get it as well as looking into counselling/mental health.

I know this board has gone quite but I am still going to try updating regularly.

It's been a rocky road so far. I have reduced my units as follows:

20 units

16 units

14 units

12 units

8 units

The problem is that the anxiety has become crippling. I think that I may have reduced too quickly for yesterday because while I had no urge to have more than 8 units, I barely slept last night as I was very anxious and this morning I woke up with a horrible anxious feeling in my stomach.

Until today I have been in a fog and couldn't think straight. I can do my work well, help kids with home schooling, cook dinner etc and appear fully functional but the amount of effort that is taking has zapped all the energy out of me. Every time I try to look up what I need for treatments I am literally terrified and get really anxious. Today was a bit of a respite in the hangover department as I only had 8 units yesterday, so while I am hungover, its not as bad as it has been due to low consumption.

Every time I try and look online for help I get anxious. Today my anxiety is crippling and even thinking about alcohol/treatment/help is really scary. I'm not sure why this is. I'm trying to think but I can't. From where I was - I am not winning but I am at least fighting as much as I can. The thought of even asking for help makes me breathless with anxiety.

So for now, I am just going to take a pragmatic approach and up my intake by 2 units from yesterday and go up to 10. This is not ideal and too much to be drinking but it is half of where I began. The hope is that this is a reasonable level to hold my alcohol intake for the next few days and hopefully I can see a drop in my anxiety level and the be able to move forward a step.

Since I last posted i have now gone 5 weeks to the day with no alcohol. As this thread shows, it has been a very long journey and when i began i did not even understand what the issue has been.

I am both grateful and relieved to have had this respite from alcohol. It has been a rollercoaster. At times it has been amazing and other times have been difficult. But I am progressing with recovery and putting in as much effort as possible.

In addition to the 5 weeks of consecutive no drinking, I also have a further 15 sober days this year which were usually 2 or 3 days of consecutive sobriety.

I am hoping the next time i update it will be positive. But I do intend to update. Although the regular users are no longer here, it was there help when i started this thread that steered me in the right direction so it is only right I continue to update as the help I received here has been invaluable.