Horrible constipation for many many years scared

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ok so for most of my adult life ive been constipated ive never used the restroom everyday maybe on occasion ill use jt days in a row but that's like once every 4-5 months it is the worst feeling ever i usually use tha bathroom once every 3-4 days and nearly every bowel movement i have i have to strain to the point of fainting.... the only times i get real relief is from laxatives and im afraid im going to die...im currently experiencing some bad bad constipation its seeming like i cant hse the bathroom without a laxative period... im so backed up i had a bowel movement last Monday after days not going with the use of w laxative and then when until Thursday without another one with a laxative and Tonight im so uncomfortable i want to take another laxative i pretty much have to... what do y'all think im gonna get into a gastroenterologist but im Afraid I've got a partial blockage ive had for years im very very scared this is gonna kill me

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