Horrible grey week

Posted , 6 users are following.

I have suffered with depression and anxiety for several years and managed to hold it together, unfortunately this year it all got too much and i had a breakdown, i have had to give up work due to other health issues and i am totally lost i feel i have no purpose and the only reason i carry on is because of how much it would hurt others, this week is a hard one, my black cloud is here with a vengeance and its taking all the little bit of will i have left (not much) to stop me heading to the tablet drawer and just going to sleep, im so very tired of being sad.

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Has your antidepresants changed lately? What is the main reason you have tried so hard to get better? Take a step back and look at what changed to get you where you are? Not being able to work is hard after so many years of doing this but it doesn't define who you are. There are probably things you thought of doing for enjoyment while you worked but didn't have time. I being diabled, went through this same situation. It is a real adjustment but it definegly has it's good side. I enjoy nature and that sounds simple but I never really had time before and find it very comforting. Stop to smell the roses is deep. I love music, reading a good book and learned to crochet. I use to hate cooking but now I rather enjoy a leasure throwing things together for a rewarding outcome. Push yourself to see the good in this and farther away from the pill drawer. I once took prozac and found myself gradually sinking. I was taking my meds and just kept taking longer to do simple tak much less the big things. There is such a thing as the meds just not helping anymore and after a med. adjustment I got better but not before a big setback. Talk to your doctor and perhaps this will help. Don't do things just to please others. Remember to stop and care for yourself and your feelings. Please help yourself and perhaps you have someone that can go along for support also. I wish you the best and truly want you feeling better SOON.

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    • Posted

      Hi, no meds change just a decline in health, my life has been limited down to home and doctor or hospital appointments, all the the things i used to enjoy feel pointless and my concentration level is rubbish, i know i should be looking at the positives and enjoying what i can but i do a cycle of being angry to crying then to sleeping every day, i miss joy and love and having a reason to cope, mu family live a long way from me
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  • Posted

    i know where you are sharon. i have suffered for 30 yrs and feel just like you do. my brother as been by my side helping me cope. family love but both him and p my best mate passed away last year so yesterday i wanted to end it all myself. cant go on. without family it feels there is no hope. i am 67 now desperate. please god get a cure on the shelf soon ! do you have access to the internet. search for me and you sharon for that cure. let me know if you find anything ?    or anyone else reading this please come up with suggestions. like a donation of a million pounds to change my circumstances. it is not just the depression but the ocd and anxiety !
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  • Posted

    Hi Sharon,

    I am sorry you are feeling so bad.  I agree with another person that you have to go to the doctor and change/get meds. 

    Also, I think none of us (people with clinical depression) does is do something that would actually make you happy or forget for a moment your problems.

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  • Posted

    You mention this year has been a problem with your mental and physical health. If you know your concerns you are halfway in understanding your dark mood and associated sadness

    My condition is a Reactive Depression caused by Chronic Disability and I find positive thoughts sometimes helps me as does any activities I enjoy held square a vicious circle. Sleep in my case brings back many negative thoughts when ill and I will wake up and try to find something to do to divert my negativity.

    I understand your concerns to know your needs and find a way of defeating your sadness will help you. we are always around 

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Go out if you can and see someone if not  a friend then anyone you can talk to.  You need to get some support and soon, are you taking anti depressants or anything? I think you must see your doctor as soon as possible they might be able to help!

     

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  • Posted

    Thank you all for your replies, things took a turn for the worse today, lots of intrusive thoughts about killing myself, i drove up to my doctors who agreed to see me straight away and she contacted the crisis team, i have managed to stop crying long enough to write this, i just need the crisis team to help me get out of this hole. When did i turn into this person!?!!!
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    • Posted

      Hi Sharon,

      How has the last week been for you? All of us reading your words will know what that grey cloud feels like but we keep hope alive for the sun to shine through. The crisis team has got me through a couple of desperate periods in my life so I really hope that they are offering you some daily support and giving you the attention you need right now. I hear you - depression creeps up on us and turns our life on its head until we hardly recognise who we are any more. We just want to get back to the person that we used to be. The clock can't be turned back but that doesn't mean that you can't experience a rediscovery of yourself. Maybe imagine a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis :-) Please don't give up on yourself. You need to take good care of yourself right now. Let us know how things are going for you. Wishing you sunshine in that darkness. Hugs x

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