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horrible horrible illness

Posted , 3 users are following.

lisah9811
lisah9811

My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar just over 2 yrs ago and spent 5 weeks in hospital after having her 1st manic episode, the last 2 yrs she has been in and out of hospital and it has been 2 yrs of hell not only for her but also for me as her mother.

Just wondered if there are any other mothers who find this illness difficult to cope with??

My daughter is currently in hospital and was sectioned last week for 28 days, although she is not in a secure locked ward and has run from there twice this week!

My daughter is normally very caring,  and thoughtful, but she seems very angry at the world and at me, and all i,ve ever done is be there for her, i can't seem to do right from wrong!!! 

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • lulu90
    lulu90 lisah9811

    Posted

    Hi lisah,

    I'm so sorry you are going through this and you are hurting so much. nobody deserves this pain. I'm not a mother but I have the same diagnosis as your daughter and I can say my mother feels exactly like you.

    I want you to know at first I was very very angry at the world and my mum even though all she ever did was love me with her entire self, i was blind and angry and it did take me a couple of years to really come around and truly want the help. She needs to fully want the help Lisah and all you can do is be patient with her like you are.

    I've been hospitalised a few times and not any of those times it really helped. I only started to change when I really hit rock bottom. Let me tell you I put my parents though absolute hell! I never thought things could ever be fixed but I was wrong. Nobody could ever turn their back on people like my parents, people like you.

    You are so special it brings tears to my eyes because I think about my mum and I never ever wanted her to hurt and I know you are. Your daughter loves you soooooo much but she's just so confused right now. She will come around.

    I truly hope your family finds the peace and happiness you all deserve.

    So many hugs. All the best.

    Lu

    • lisah9811
      lisah9811 lulu90

      Posted

      Hi Lulu, thank you very much for your lovely reply. It is probably as hard for family as it is for the person going through the illness.

      i know my daughter needs to fully want help and that did seem the case this time around but whilst in hospital she didn't seem to accept their help and felt like all the staff were bullying her. She has since been discharged from hospital but on the meds she feels lifeless! Which is not good. She is on lithium and haloperidol, the dose of haloperidol got reduced this week when she saw her dr but most of the time her phone is off, so I can,t even get hold of her, she literally just wants to shut herself away from the world, which is very sad.

      i understand my daughter doesn't,t want to hurt me. It is so sad as I feel I,ve lost her.

      i truly hope you are doing well,

      hugs back,

      Lisa

  • bumpygoodness
    bumpygoodness lisah9811

    Posted

    My mum became very angry with me when I acted as your daughter has. It drove me deeper into despair and angry frustration. I think patience, consistency and unfailing love is the greatest gift you can give her. You can't fix her and i doubt she expects that. She needs a safe place to experience her feelings, and to be very gently brought down to earth. Her feelings are very real to her. So you can gently guide, giving her time to consider after she reacts, but you can't do more and you will hurt yourself and your relationship with her if you try, so give yourself credit. Be patient with your own expectations and hopes. And above all, remember with all the above, she needs time - nothing happens quickly. My mum learnt this - neither of us knew at the time I was bipolar. I would have been sectioned, probably. Her patience and faith, without allowing me to be an ass, are the lights of my life. You have asked here - you're already such a loving mum. Give yourself love too - it isn't anyone's fault, and it isn't permanent x
    • lisah9811
      lisah9811 bumpygoodness

      Posted

      hi there, thank you for your reply, my daughter just seems to want to shut herself away from the world, which is so sad. I have always been there for her and always will but it very hard at times when she seems angry at me for no reason and wants to shut me out.

      it really seems like it,s permanent and that I,ve lost my daughter as over 2 years down the line nothing has got better, if anything, worse.

      i have really educated myself on bipolar and also have a friend who is bipolar so I am understanding about the illness but feel completely helpless and useless as reagards to helping my daughter. I know you can,t help someone who does,not want help, but it,s very hard as a mother.

      i hope you are doing well,

      Lisa

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