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Horrible sleep deprivation and fear of never being able to sleep again…

Posted , 6 users are following.

dereem
dereem

As I am writing this, I am amidst what seems like the darkest hours of my being.

This chapter of my life could easily be named "flirting with the Abyss". 

I have been suffering from a severe anxiety disorder since a very long time. But now, it's a whole new level. The anxiety runs so deep within my me now, that I feel like I have become it. I have now convinced myself that I can't sleep, never again. I have been awake for 36 hours straights now.

The world now feels like a scary place and I feel like I am slowly dying the worst kind of death with my mouth full of bitter ashes of failure. No one around me sees it.  No one would understand anyway.

Yesterday during the night, I felt a profound sadness in my soul. My life has always been broken, but now, there is no returning back. I am hopelessness.

 

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • NECKBONE
    NECKBONE dereem

    Posted

    Hey, sorry to hear about your troubles.  The thing to keep in mind is that you are going to be just fine.  Many of us here have walked the path you are walking and made it out better.  It's hard to imagine with the frame of mind you are in right now but I swear it's true.  

    1. Don't "try" to sleep or get mad at yourself if you can't.  Just go on about your business and I promise you will get sleepy enough to drift off soon.

    2. Get out and move around some, preferably some light exercise.  I know you don't want to right now but it will make you feel better.  Also, find a good book or get engrossed in a hobby.  Do something to get your mind off your anxiety. 

    3. Schedule an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist to help you get your anxiety under control.  Do this soon.  Just making the appointment will make you feel a bit better.  If there is nothing available in the next few days, consider doing a video chat therapy service.  There are a couple of options out there, just google "online therapy sessions".

    You are not alone and are not the only person that has felt the way you are currently feeling.  You WILL sleep again and you can get over your anxiety.  I have been there and I know that it is possible. 

  • apu91247
    apu91247 dereem

    Posted

    Hang on friend.

    There is medical treatment for anxiety.

    But once you start medication ,you should never stop medicines abruptly.

    Google for tapering system.

    Google about how people are suffering for stopping meds cold turkey.

    You may need to use meds life long.

    We are all same.

    We are sleeping and living happily by using meds.

    • dereem
      dereem apu91247

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply. 

      The thing is, I don't feel anxiety in my body anymore. I feel nothing right now and this is really scary. Now I really don't know what is happening and to be honest, I would gave anything to get the anxiety back. My whole body is numb and, I can't generate a single emotion. I just lie dawn here awake, absolutely unable to sleep. I am considering sleeping pills but I am terrified at the idea of them not working on me

  • ann82027
    ann82027 dereem

    Posted

    I am feeling concern for you, I have also been to a very dark place with depression, could not eat or sleep, I had a bad childhood, in my darkest moments I was in a black hole.  Do you have depression because if you do you need help, I was drawn back but the mind is full of thoughts.   I do not sleep now but during that time I hardly slept at all and just cried.

    i am thinking of you.

    • ann82027
      ann82027 dereem

      Posted

      Seek help for your depression, I was taking citalopram for 7 years, the side effects were not good for 4 weeks but when it got into my system it helped me a great deal, I do not take them now because I have ectopic heartbeats and my heart races which is called svt.    I lived a fairly normal life on these, before that I was in a very dark hole.   I wish you well.
  • monica36210
    monica36210 dereem

    Posted

    I feel your pain. I have severe anxiety as well. Have you been under a lot of stress lately?
    • dereem
      dereem monica36210

      Posted

      Yes I have always been under a lot of stress. I also have social anxiety and... there are people everywhere you go. It's overwhelming.

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