How can I be supportive during hysterectomy?

Posted , 4 users are following.

One of my closest friends got questionable results back from her uterine biopsy. (Abnormal cells-can't rule out carcinoma.) Her doctor is recommending a hysterectomy. She's going to have the procedure in January.

What are some ways I can be supportive of her? She does not have a partner. She has adult children, but they aren't always helpful. 

Tonight I brought her dinner and dessert. After the holidays I thought of paying to send my cleaning lady over there just to do the bathrooms and kitchen. I volunteered to go to medical appointments and drive for her afterwards.

But I am afraid she's too self sufficient to let me help. 

For those who have gone through the procedure--what would you have liked someone else to do for you? 

Thanks in advance!


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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Wasn't she suggested calpo first hysterectomy is very evasive

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    • Posted

      I guess her results don't allow for that. (I probably phrased it wrong above. Sorry!) She is scheduled for a da Vinci robot assisted hysterectomy surgery.  I'm going to a doctor's appointment with her to make sure he doesn't think of morcellating. But otherwise, I feel so helpless. 

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  • Posted

    If she would like you to do so, one of the best things you can do for her is to go into the appointment with her. (Especially if her children are as you described.)  When I was diagnosed, I was terrified, and though I had questions for my doctor, I couldn't remember the answers, and I didn't remember all the information given to me, either! My husband went with me, and helped me lots by doing that. When I forgot, he remembered.    

    Encourage her to give herself enough time to heal afterwards; to rest and recuperate and only to become more active gradually, when she's able.  Some self-sufficient people don't allow themselves proper rest or relaxation.

    It sounds as if you are very aware of the medical procedure, what's appropriate and what isn't. (I shudder when I think about morcellation!) If your're in the US, she might need shots daily afterwards to prevent blood clots, so you could help her with those.

    Just your presence and the fact that you obviously care so much for her will be healing. I'm sure that there will be others on this site who will have some good suggestions!

    Best of luck to her, and thanks to you for being such a good friend!  Please let us know how she gets on!


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  • Posted

    I just wanted to say your friend is SO blessed to have you in her life! Personally I would think cleaning and helping with meals while she is unable to do much after surgery. 
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    • Posted

      Thanks to all of you for these great suggestions! She and I are both gluten free and there is a GF bakery/restaurant that I can just pop into and grab her a healthy meal.  

      She runs her own business and she is really reluctant to say no to anyone. (She's a pet sitter and can't resist a puppy!)  I think I can also encourage her to center herself in her own life. 

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