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My husband is addicted to work. He goes to the office early, comes home late and often works from home at weekends. When he's not doing office work, he is obsessive about doing the washing and ironing - he normally puts three loads of washing on every day and if there isn't enough in the laundry baskets for a full load, he'll go into the children's rooms and take things off their floors, even if it's clean and folded up waiting for them to put it away. He then complains about how much ironing he has to do. If he's not ironing, then he'll be working in the garden - never allows himself time to sit out in the sunshine and read a book. When he sees me doing housework (and he's actually convinced himself - and tells other people - that I don't do any!), he says 'I can do that' and takes over, even if it means stopping doing what he was doing.
He never allows himself time to be with the family and has therefore become just a person who happens to sleep in the same house as us, rather than a husband and father. In fact, my youngest daughter told me that she doesn't think he's a very good father and that she wished he would put as much effort into being a good father as he does into trying to get his mother to believe that he's a good son. For example, yesterday we asked him to play Monopoly with us but all he kept saying was 'I'm not interested, I'm not interested' over and over again and when asked why, the only excuse he could come up with was that he had to do the ironing. All he wants to do is hide in the study, do the ironing and watch documentaries about war. He is also extremely rude to us, particularly me and my eldest daughter and will say very spiteful things which upset us a lot. We've asked him not to behave in this way, but he doesn't seem to think he's doing anything wrong. I'm very worried about him.
I've asked him to go to Relate, but he won't go because he won't admit that how he is behaving is destroying our family and his relationship with me. The situation is making me depressed and I am now having sleepless nights because of it. Is there anything I can do to help him?
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