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How can we be sure it's anxiety and not something fatal.

Posted , 36 users are following.

gordon77178
gordon77178

I have about 8 months sice i have the following syptoms.

-Really bad nausea,

-Really bad dizzines,

-The feeling of iminent faining (very scary),

-Nasty bowel movements, strange stomach sounds,

-Feeling so tired and faint like that some days i can't even go to work,

-Strange shocks in my head, body, restlesness in my legs sometims.

-Feeling ill and a bad sensation like somtehing bad (a seizure) is going to happen.

-Strange heart sensations, palpitations, sharp aches, tearing sensation of the heart.

No doctor has any answer, and when doctors don't have anxiety they send you to a therapist:

The first quarter of this i year i've done:

-Multiple blood tests,

-Head MRI,

-EEG, 24hr Ekg, 24h Blood pressure, Cardiography.

-Upper GI endoscopy (stuck a hose down my gut),

-Seen a mind doctor (gave me Paroxetine + Lorazepam, did not start taking them because i'm trying to avoid meds),

-I've seen 2 psychoterapists, both with stupid advices like everyone feels ill so it's normal that i feel dizzy and ill. (Never believe such BS, a healthy human being never has any symptoms),

-Thyroid blood tests.

All tests came back ok, and nothing can explain these weird things that are happening. Will ask my GP to test for Lyme disease, altough he does not think it's the case, as i have never seen a tick bite me (maybe like 15 years ago), i have no dog or cat, i live in a capital city, never seen a bite on my body.

My psychological problem is that i can't believe that all these are related to anxiety, i am not affraid of stuff, well just in these times i fear i may day or spend my days in hospitals even though i have 26 years.

How in this world can i be sure all these horrible things are anxiety syndrome related, if i would know it's just anxiety related, i would have a far better time of accepting the symptoms, but now i'm thinking i might die and thinking that if it comes to the day where i will be a vegetable i should find someone to shot my head of with a shotgun (to be sure i don't feel anything), because let me tell you, this is not living.

I wish you all the best and fast recovery,

Gordon.

6 likes, 61 replies

61 Replies

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  • amy89817
    amy89817 gordon77178

    Posted

    Hi Gordon, sorry you feel this way. 

    The title of your post (as well as it's content) suggests that you do have health anxiety, and a fear dying, as you state in your post. All of your symptoms can be caused by anxiety, and every medical test you've had has come back all fine. This should hopefully reassure you.

    By all means ask your doctor about the potential of Lyme disease, though it doesn't sound like you have many of the symptoms at all. These tests coming back clear are a good thing. Have you spoken to your DR about anxiety? (You say that you feel unwell and have a bad sensation that something may happen- this is anxiety) Maybe they can suggest some different types of therapy for you? Some therapies aim at changing your thought pattern, which may be useful to you. 

    • gordon77178
      gordon77178 amy89817

      Posted

      Thank you for your answer Amy.

      You see that's what i am affraid of, that i am barking at the wrong tree. What if i have something else that will destroy me, and i am treating anxiety. I hate these drama cases in life, thats why i always say a soft kill switch should be available for any human, cause there are people that suffer far worse then me. And i really suffer a lot.

      Hope my 3rd therapist will be a good one, altough i still have my doubts that anxiety disorder gives these horrible symptoms. I also hope to live and see smile .

    • amy89817
      amy89817 gordon77178

      Posted

      I have all of these symptoms with anxiety, and I know that most people on this forum do too. If you google anxiety, all of these symptoms and much worse will show up, unfortunately we're all suffering them.

      Your fear or illness/dying at least needs to be treated by a therapist. What kind of therapy are you having? There are lots of different types of therapies that are good for anxiety (rather than just talking to a psychologist about feelings, they aim to actively treat anxiety). 

      I hope you feel better soon smile 

  • Spindles
    Spindles gordon77178

    Posted

    Oh dear, you've really got it bad haven't you.  Sorry to say it but you don't exactly help yourself as you dismiss all the results of the numerous tests you've had, you seem to think that psychotherapists are stupid, you are prescribed medication that may help you and yet you won't take them because you are "trying to avoid meds" - WHY if they might help you?   It sounds just like anxiety symptoms and the more you think about things the worse it gets, it's like a circle, you worry you've got something terminal so you get stress symptoms then you worry about the stress symptoms that makes you think you've got something terminal so you worry more.  If you carry on like that you'll end up with that result anyway because you'll probably have a heart attack.  I know this sounds brutal but think about it, you've had hundreds or even thousands of pounds worth of tests and referrals that have found nothing and yet you still believe there's something wrong.  I assume you cross roads?  Every time you go out do you ever worry that you might get run over or, if you drive, do you worry that someone might crash into your car, or you might have a puncture and veer off the road, or you get murdered - NO I don't suppose you do otherwise you'd never step outside the door.  You have to try and break the cycle of thinking there's something wrong with you.   I have bouts of anxiety at certain things, usually about something I know will happen rather than something that might happen and I try and deal with it as best I can but I certainly don't let it ruin my life as you are doing at the moment. 

    I know you've seen lots of people but have you thought about hypnotherapy?  There is also something that sounds silly but apparently works that is called EFT whereby you tap various places on your face and body and it has worked wonders for many people who have lots of different problems.  Can you find something to occupy your mind so you're not thinking about your health all the time?  Have you got a job or could you volunteer somewhere, perhaps with animals that would focus your thoughts on something else other than yourself, or perhaps take up a hobby?  Life if worth living if you allow yourself to enjoy it but if you keep worrying like you do then your death that you are so frightened of will come sooner than you would like.  I now it sounds very brutal but maybe instead of someone saying "there, there" you should get another view of your problem to think about.

    • gordon77178
      gordon77178 Spindles

      Posted

      I have a normal job (software programmer), i love my job. I use my bike about 3 times a week, when i don't feel like dying. I try to think positive, i can always find things to do, i do a fair amount of sports. The problem is It won't let me! I don't see it as i am doing it to myself. And i am not dismissing my tests, if all of them are ok, there is something wrong at the command end meaning the central nervous system, i don't know why, maybe a virus, maybe chemical imbalance, maybe ideed anxiety, as i said I can't be sure!
  • Guest
    Guest gordon77178

    Posted

    i totaly get how you feel iv had every blood test known to have lol and apparently im fine ... yet why do i feel like an old lady and why am i in pain every day. no one believes me when im ill as i have anxiety but how can that make me feel pain? 

    i understand your worried but we have to just give the doctors ect a chance i supose i dont believe any doctor ( part of my anxiety). hope you start to feel normal soon smile keep ya chin up xx

    • gordon77178
      gordon77178 Guest

      Posted

      Thank you Sarah, i hope you get well, and never get ill again.

      My thoughts are that blood tests cannot tell everything,for exaple my faint like feeling can be linked to my heart, and i also feel my stomach strange usually at the same moment, so i am thinking maybe the vagal nerve that commands the stomach and heart has a problem and that nerve is from my head down my spine, etc. can't test that though, not even with an MRI, i think...

    • Guest
      Guest gordon77178

      Posted

      i had this arguement with my doctor as he said youv had every blood test they all came back fine. well why do we still feel crap then? 

      what makes our anxiety worse is the fact that most of us dont believe the doctors lol i know my self i dont fully trust them i have weird issues that even when they tell me your fine i think that doctor hates me and wants me to be ill rolleyes lol. 

      do you google your symptoms i did for a long time i now know alot lol try stay positive, i drag my self about all day just so im not sitting round thinking iv got this and that its hard ino but we have to do it to keep us going. 

      xx

    • gordon77178
      gordon77178 Guest

      Posted

      Oh i google sometimes, but to make it even worse i almost wanted to be a doctor, so i studied medicine a bit and am concious of all the possibilities, especially knowing that human medicine technology is very primitive at most.
    • Spindles
      Spindles gordon77178

      Posted

      QUOTE: Oh i google sometimes, but to make it even worse i almost wanted to be a doctor, so i studied medicine a bit and am concious of all the possibilities, especially knowing that human medicine technology is very primitive at most.

      BINGO!  What's that saying "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing"!!

    • Guest
      Guest gordon77178

      Posted

      i googled everyday for 5 months so now i think i know everything when really i dont lol its just made me this mess that thinks i have everything under the sun. ohhh dear so your alot more educated then google. xx
  • Spindles
    Spindles gordon77178

    Posted

    gordon77178, you've said that you have a job as a computer programmer and you love it and presumably you are doing a good job or you would have had the sack by now, (unless you are a computer programmer and have your own software company like my son!!) .  This must mean that for most of the day you are able to lead a normal life without thinking too much about any health problems.  If this is true and you are OK when you are working, or when you are cycling, then this HAS to tell you that you aren't as ill as you think you are otherwise you wouldn't be able to hold down a job or ride a bike. If you really had some life threatening debilitating disease or medical issues you'd be feeling like it all the time and wouldn't be able to do those things. I get stressed at times but I don't let it stop me doing whatever it is I am stressed about.  I get uptight before going on a holiday but I still go and when I get there I'm perfectly alright, I certainly wouldn't stop going on holiday because I got anxious as that's giving in to the feelings not overcoming them.   I know that for my next holiday I'll feel the same but I'll still go. Only YOU can change your outlook on life and try and get as much out of it as you can before that thing you worry so much about actually happens  As you say you've been having all those feelings for the last eight months, try and work out if something happened back then, change of job, partnership breakup, moving house, anything that could cause you anxiety that is manifesting itself in physical health problems. 
    • amy89817
      amy89817 Spindles

      Posted

      I agree with Spindles. As none of us are Doctors, none of us can diagnose you with anything, but from the sound of your first post, you've gone to see multiple doctors and they have said that they can't find anything medically wrong with you and all of your tests have come back fine. I know that this may sound blunt, but you have been diagnosed with health anxiety (which you say you have, as well as a fear of dying) but you're choosing to not get help for it in the hope that you've got something medically wrong with you. I'm not saying that there's nothing medically wrong with you, but it's unlikely as every doctor you've seen has said so. 

       As Spindles says, I hope it reassures you that if you were seriously ill, you wouldn't be able to work full time or do all of this sport. As you say you love your job, and go cycling, it seems as though you feel fine when you're doing these things. I know you've said you've not been able to go to work before, but do you feel fine when you're there and are distracted from your thoughts? I'm sure every one of us didn't really believe that anxiety could cause these symptoms at the start, but there are people suffering a great deal physically because of it. People can lose consciousness from hyperventilating too much, or have vomiting and diahorrea from anxiety that's extremely severe, causing significant weight loss.

      There are a few different forms of therapy that can be effective (perhaps more so than just speaking to a therapist). They can find the root cause of the anxiety, and change your way of thinking. 

      I hope you begin to feel better soon! 

    • gordon77178
      gordon77178 Spindles

      Posted

      Unfortunately you are incorrect. Most of the day i am so dizzy and ffeling so faint that i am to occupied to hold my self to the chair not to fall on the ground. Second, if you work in the software stuff you have to pay attention and have a good ability to concentrate, i kind of lost that. 95% percent of the time when i am on my bike i am ok, but that's in the afternoon, cause begining from 8am until about 18:00 pm, i feel sick as hell.

      Another thing is people's perception on the physical symptoms of anxiety disorder. The order is not "fearful thought" > "Physical symptom", it's the other way around. I sometimes sit at my pc at work and my heart starts pounding, or lose my balance and i swear i was not thinking of any anxiety. If you would tell me the theory where these physical symptoms are triggered in an unconscious matter by the subconscious, then that woul be more plausible. It's not the fear that it's killing me, but the fact that i cannot stand on my feet. And yes that makes me think of something really bad happening to me, cause it's happening in that moment with a cause.

      Final thing is, a solution must be devised to make the symptoms dissapear not "manage" them. You can smile, but if you are in agony on the inside it's not worth 2 penny's and i think you agree with that. I have to draw a line between when things are good and when things are bad but i am "managing" them as good, so that i am not lying to myself. A life not lived is a life not worth living.

    • amy89817
      amy89817 gordon77178

      Posted

      So you only feel unwell from 8am-6pm..?You feeling unwell at work, but being able to cycle after 6pm suggests anxiety... People who have generalised anxiety have symptoms most of the time, whether they're actively panicking or thinking about it, that's the problem with it, and that's why it needs to be treated. Anxiety makes people completely lose concentration and have 'brain fog'; that's one of the main symptoms. 

      We're all trying to get better on this forum, we don't want to feel anxious, we're all suffering, the best we can do is 'manage'. 

      Even if you did have a medical condition, you still say that you're terrified it's going to kill you, that you'll die a horrible death. You shouldn't have to suffer through panicking over the inevitable, we're all going to die at some point. You should take your Dr's advice and get treatment for your health anxiety, even if you don't think it's the cause of all of your problems, it may help with your fears. You have posted this question on an anxiety forum, rather than a cardiac/cancer/neurological etc forum, which suggests that your anxiety if affecting you too. You say that Drs 'don't want to help you', but they're trying- they've offered you a diagnosis, treatment and advice. 

      I really think you should see you GP again. If they knew about how much you say it affects your life, maybe they could come up with something else. 

    • gordon77178
      gordon77178 amy89817

      Posted

      Oh they don't care as much cause they don't believe me, whenever they look at my tests, they look at my strangely. Anyway, i was presenting how i view things, nothing more. I posted here because you are a great community and wanted to know if my syptoms match anyone elses.
    • amy89817
      amy89817 gordon77178

      Posted

      When someone has anxiety they do just put everything down to anxiety! It took me 9 months to get diagnosed with my heart condition. But all of your tests have been fine, so you shouldn't worry about that. 

      But, as you say that it's only between 8am-6pm, it suggests that there's probably nothing seriously wrong. All of our symptoms match yours unfortunately, so you should try and speak to your GP about your anxiety, they might be able to help! smile 

    • gordon77178
      gordon77178 amy89817

      Posted

      I did many times. Anyway, what took them so long to diagnose?
    • amy89817
      amy89817 gordon77178

      Posted

      I'd rather not say, but you don't have enough symptoms for it and it showed up on my tests, in case you thought you might have it. 
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