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How did you tell your partner?

Posted , 6 users are following.

camila58123
camila58123

Hi everyone. 

Aside from just finding out I’m positive for hsv2, my second biggest struggle right now is telling my partner. We’ve been together for 6 months, things have been amazing. I know 6 months doesn’t seem long, & a lot of you are probably already speculating (“he probably has it” or “are you sure you didn’t get it from him”) yes, I think I’m sure. He hasn’t slept with many people, in fact wasn’t with anyone for a few months before dating me. I know that also may not be true but I trust him. He’s a very honest and clean person. So I don’t believe I caught it from him. 

I experienced my first OB a week ago. I thought it was a scratch. I had little to no symptoms. I went to the doctors thinking they’d just send me home with a cream of some sort. Well, it didn’t exactly go that way. I’m positive for hsv2. 

Other than being in complete distress, worry, and feeling sorry for myself. I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend. He means the world to me. This would devastate him. I can’t possible come up with anything on how to explain this in a way where he’ll assume everything will be ok. Where he won’t think I’ve cheated on him. I don’t want to lose him, ever.

Can someone, anyone please give me some advice? How did you tell your partner? What was their reaction? Did you get it from your partner? What was your reaction? 

Please tell me your stories so I can figure out if I want to tell him now or just wait. 

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • sarah99418
    sarah99418 camila58123

    Posted

    Have you check out the site www.honeycomb.click?
    • camila58123
      camila58123 sarah99418

      Posted

      Thank you very much sarah99418. I was not aware of that site. The nurse who diagnosed me wasn’t so helpful on what to do after the fact. I definitely am gunna need support and outlook on others stories. Appreciate it 
  • Yuckbutt
    Yuckbutt camila58123

    Posted

    Well, my story is after being with my boyfriends for 7 years, he cheated on me and not only got her pregnant, but i contracted hsv2 from it... unfortuantly herpes isnt a matter of being clean, sleeping with multiple people or any of those factors. It only takes 1 time to contract it. The best thing you can do is not to try to figure out how or why you got it. Its how to protect yourself and others and move forward. Sit down with your partner and be honest. Recommend that he gets checked too and move forward from there.
    • camila58123
      camila58123 Yuckbutt

      Posted

      Thank you Yuckbutt for your input. I’m very sorry that happened to you. If you don’t mind me asking, did you stay with him or is he now with the other girl? And if so- how has dating been for you? Have you had let someone know about what you carry? What was their reaction. 

      My fear is if I tell him, he’ll leave. I know I’m being selfish and not safe but it’s only been 3 days since I’ve found out and I’m still learning how to even cope. It’s been really hard 

    • Yuckbutt
      Yuckbutt camila58123

      Posted

      I defiantly left him, i believe hes single, and i have dated 3 guys since and am in a relationship with someone now. Dating actually isnt bad at all. Most dont care or already have it. The hardest part is telling someone the first time, but as soon as it happens you realize how silly it was to stress over it. Just remember its a skin condition, its not a life ender and 1 in 6 people have it. It will be okay especially when it comes to dating.
    • Yuckbutt
      Yuckbutt camila58123

      Posted

      I defiantly left him, i believe hes single, and i have dated 3 guys since and am in a relationship with someone now. Dating actually isnt bad at all. Most dont care or already have it. The hardest part is telling someone the first time, but as soon as it happens you realize how silly it was to stress over it. Just remember its a skin condition, its not a life ender and 1 in 6 people have it. It will be okay especially when it comes to dating.
  • nayeon10409
    nayeon10409 camila58123

    Posted

    I also have been recently diagnosed with herpes type 1 and wondered how.

    The fact that my partner and I have been each other's only sexual partners made it more confusing. I couldn't have gotten it from anyone but him and same vice versa, and I'm more than 100% sure he didn't cheat on me. The fact that we've had unprotected sex before and that I've never had any symptoms show up made this all the more brain wracking.

    He showed no symptoms so I can safely assume he's the type to not get any symptoms. Lucky him.

    I kept wondering how I could've got it, but even if I find out how I got it, it doesn't change the fact I have it, so I learned to accept it. Around 1 in 6 people have so I know I'm not going through this alone and I know it's definitely something people can live with.

    I told my partner the same day I was diagnosed. Ofc he was confused as s**t too but he told me that we'll be okay and week go through this together. I was so thankful for his reaction.

    Please tell your partner soon, they'll have to find out eventually and there's no use delaying the process, it'll only speed things up into the right direction to take care of yourself and your partner.

    • sarah99418
      sarah99418 nayeon10409

      Posted

      Hey there, HSV1 is usually carried orally but can pass to the genitals. It could be that he contracted them as a child and never had any symptoms. It can be passed with no sores when the virus ‘sheds’.  My husband passed it to me and to after being married for 7 years.
  • lucy10224
    lucy10224 camila58123

    Posted

    You should defo tell him you may be surprised by his reaction and support. 

    I was diagnosed 3 years ago and at the time had only been with my boyfriend for around 4/5 months.

    My out break was horrendous and very painful, at first i was very worried and scared about his reaction and how he would take it , many people don't actually understand that herpes is a virus and lays dormant in ur system just like a cold. Most people have the virus but only some people have symptoms so for all you know your boyfriend may have had the herpe virus himself but shows no symptoms ! 

    By telling him you are showing him you trust and feel comfortable around him, if he is a decent guy he should support you through this time . 

    It's now 2 years since i told my boyfriend and we are still together and he has never had a outbreak of herpes while me I'm not so lucky and have had another 4/5 outbreaks but he completely understands how painful it is and soon enough it will clear up . 

    Please have a think about it and try not to stress as this make things worse.

    Hope you get on okay xx 

    • haz83342
      haz83342 lucy10224

      Posted

      Hi Lucy

      Im happy you have a wonderful life. 

      Pls tell me

      Is your bf having herpes right now?

      I mean you gave it to him or not?

    • lucy10224
      lucy10224 haz83342

      Posted

      My boyfriend has never had a outbreak. 

      I've had 3 outbreaks this year so far.

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