How do I overcome memories of being the underdog in my old school friends group?

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hey guys

I hope you are well.

To summarise I am 25 year old male student studying at uni in London.

For some reason memories haunting me of when I was in an old friends group from school and I was the underdog when it came to achieving things and pulling girls.

Whenever I remember one of the group members always pulling and getting any woman he wanted, it makes me feel very low in comparison.

Admittedly this is past now and I am much better but its just the memory that sometimes panics me of being the underdog in these respects.

Hope you won't find me being childish but thanks very much for any advice.

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi:  Not childish.  Old memories hang around and at time pop up out of the blue, so to speak.  If you don't dwell on them, they leave fairly quickly and the more you tend to ignore them, the less they will come around to bother you. 

    Shrug them off -- over, done, gone.

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    • Posted

      Hi Frazzled

      Thanks very much for your reply.

      I know what your saying is right, but the hard thing is trying to actually shrug them off and stop them from making me feel bad about myself and incompetent.

      I have improved over the past couple of years but now and again I can get periods where I can't even go to get ready its so exhausting.

      Thanks for your help.

      Kindest regards

      Adam

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  • Posted

    past will always haunt you,future will make u worry, present will give u peace if you just try to focus on people who love you and care for you! no matter how much you recall your past it will never be repeated again, i know how it feel to remind of bad days we lived in, but be sure that you are a different and confident man now ,live like that and god bless you
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  • Posted

    I'm 25 too. I have a similar problem too I dwell too much in the past. The past is the past we can't change it. Live in the present. I don't think it's childish at all. It's natural to do this but bad for our self esteem. I'm sure everyone hates something about their past.Many other people I've googled it smile feel sad because they feel their career is not as good as their peers. (Classmates) To this I say. Who cares.. Remember everyone is different. You may have had trouble picking up girls. I had trouble talking to people I didn't talk at all until I gained confidence in myself and everything was going great or at least it seemed and it all came tumbling down and I couldn't handle it. I wanted to be alone I didn't want to talk to anyone anymore. My problem was my Social Phobia, GAD, Social Anxiety.

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