How do I stop being scared of an old bully from doing something terrible to me?

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hey guys

I hope you are well.

Cut a long story short, in recent years I have been terribly scared by haunting memories of a bully from high school.

During high school I said stupid things and made a full of myself to which he used against me. Over the years it resulted in him threatening me (Gangster) by saying he would destroy me and bring me ass down.

This happened because at one stage I had enough and retaliated by saying I would get my brother and his gang to sort him out (lie).

The thing I worry about now is with the power he may have through his organised crime family, that if I bumped into him again they could do something terrible to me.

Please how do I stop this fear? Thanks for your help

1 like, 4 replies

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    I have struggled with abuse myself, what I do is try to meditate. But I'm not sure I had a gangster abuse me.

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  • Posted

    Also I may suggest calling the cops, or getting therapy. Or both. But it this point I'm not sure the police can do anything.

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  • Posted

    Hi just make sure you don't bump into him.  If you do get out of his vicinity asap and keep quiet. 

    I think if he was going to do something to you he would have by now.  As far as he is concerned you are just a kid he bullied a while ago and he has probably forgotten all about you by now.  

    Are you having some form of counselling?   Maybe this would help put your fears to rest. 

     

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  • Posted

    Hi adame76 - it sounds as though this fear has overtaken your life. I have a suggestion which may appear rather suicidal and will take enormous courage to enact. Why not approach the family and speak to the patriarch/matriarch and express what has happened and what you are feeling. See if you can speak to the bully in question in their presence. Apologise for your behaviour in high school and point out that you were young and naive in the ways of the world, that you feel bad about what happened and are taking the opportunity to deal with the issue and put it behind you once and for all. See if you can shake hands on it. 

    Bullies are a strange breed. When approached with the olive branch in front of witnesses in a situation that demands focus and reasoning they reveal themselves to be hateful with no concrete reason. They are forced to use their brains instead of muscle. You will earn respect for having the balls to face them on their turf and the problem will evaporate. Bullies thrive on the notion their target is weak - weaker than them. Facing them openly takes strength.

    Having said that, you are the best judge as to whether this suggestion is viable. Best of luck whatever you decide. 

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