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How do you manage social anxiety?

Posted , 3 users are following.

David7719
David7719

Interested to know how people manage social anxiety in formal and non-formal situations and what medication (if any) they take which relieves some of your symptoms e.g. shakes, churning stomach and quivering voice etc.

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • kennybhoy
    kennybhoy David7719

    Posted

    Hey man,

    Social anxiety is a nightmare, I've suffered for 10 years with this. 

    I tried to deal with it without medicine but couldn't manage, I think you'll need medicine, Effexor, mirtazipine are the best in my opinion, but if you just want to suppress the symtoms, a beta blocker called inderal is very very helpful, I would recommend it highly.

    Good luck

    • David7719
      David7719 kennybhoy

      Posted

      Thanks Kenny - haven't tried either Effexor or Inderal - have tried propanalol (another beta blocker) but it severely restricts cardio exercise due to slower heart beat and cardio is very helpful for reducing anxiety.
    • judith93388
      judith93388 kennybhoy

      Posted

      I used to dispense prescriptions but also found myself being palmed off with SSRIs  e.g.  Prozac, Seroxat , types of antidepressants - but no matter how much they deny it, these drugs are ADDICTIVE and we can't rely on being on that stuff forever - we have to honour and take care of our bodies and brains and to cover up all the symptoms and fear and anxiety is just not dealing with the underlying problem -which I guess has to be down to a sense of self

      As David pointed out his beta blocker caused restrictions disallowing some normal exercise -

      I realised that underneath all the anxiety was a combination of both anger, emotional pain and a terrible sense of loss and failure - so I started talking therapy which doesn't cause side effects like the drugs!!  The other technique while trying to find a therapist / person centred counsellor is keeping a journal monitoring your own feelings at the end of the day and recording the kind of day you had before sleep - it certainly helps to unload the brain and relieve pentup unspoken emotions  

       

  • judith93388
    judith93388 David7719

    Posted

    Well David nothing that's worth doing comes  easy from the beginning!  Some suggest ' fake it till you make it'  as though you're on stage -playing a part.  But truly it's about practising and practising and gritting your teeth and not allowing yourself to be beaten. 

    I have very bad scars from a serious accident in childhood after my dress caught light and my mother virtually dumped me with anyone or anywhere rather than provide support.  My father and grandfather both died within  months of each other about a year after my accident out in ~S Africa -  I found myself in and out of hospital from age 6-20 once back in the UK or else dumped in boarding establishments conveniently close to East Grinstead's QVH -  run by awoman 'psychiatrist' and her ex mental nurse partner ( 2 violent closet gays)- Years of  agonising surgery yet  one occasion I faked my temperature to delay being sent back to the 'school'  there was no convalescence and nights on the ward involved 2-3 Soneryl (barbiturates) to shut you up - so I had drug withdrawal on top - Not surprisingly in order to escape and find a home of my own I fell straight into the arms of the first abusive male - 22yrs later - 2 kids, 3 known infidelities - 3 overdoses during 15yrs of repeat prescriptions- I'd attempted to report the female 'quack' to one of her own  'profession' - A geriatrician attending my grandmother's insisted her drugs  needed sorting out  ( wife of a traumatised First War trench survivor)  traumatised my grandfather's trauma - which rang alarm bells

    A US PTSD sufferer told me  'To coverup  trauma with  medication -  turns you into a simmering pressure cooker - disallowing any chance of linking symptoms of today with incidents from childhood - e.g. violent episodes in childhood, watching, hearing or experiencing an incident that mimicks some forgotten scene in childhood brings unexplained panic, fear and phobias - Alice Miller's books 'Drama of the Gifted Child' opened the prison gates for me!

    I 'd just started working in a GP surgery where I then got  access to drug data side effects - 15yrs I naively trusting  GPs would never prescribe anything to harmful - But left on HIGHLY ADDICTIVE  valium 5 three times daily, dalmane 30 (4x stronger) at night and motival which found listed under  Compound antidepressants 'NOT suitable for prescribing in this form!' a warning given 4yrs earlier - Up til then I fully believed I was always to blame, with chronic low self worth and feeling like everybody was miles better than me - I was the lowest of the low - 

    Side effect warnings for valium alone read 'Possible brain damage with longterm use  - Amnesia' - Accidents - Loss of coordination'  ADDICTION can happen anything between 4-14 days  -for me it was like walking into a labyrinth and forgetting my way out - the world of colour I once knew turned subtly to grey  - I'd completely forgotten and lost track that music had been my life - I'd been a musician, singer with potential - now I'd become virtually agrophobic, panic stricken, frustrated and suicidally petrified - Secretly I went  ' Cold Turkey' immed as the chemical fog cleared  from my brain   I suddenly saw clearly who I'd been married to for 22yrs and couldn't bear his face another minute. Sacked from my job  after being  harassed back  too soon after major surgery - my grandmother's death - my sons leaving home within  months of each other - Forced to leave for my own safety on just  Housing and Sickness Benefits  and tiny savings - in severe tranquiliser withdrawal - Pushed around by the first landlord for being unemployed, my water cut off in the next rental after handing over a month's money - 5 moves in 6 months  - If I'd never been on any drugs I'd have been strong enough to cope and finish the marriage sooner  - realised that I deserved better - worked on my low self worth with a therapist  -  instead I was weak, from ovarian cyst discovered ironically in Family Planning despite hysterectomy 3yrs before!   -In the end forced to return home with no money and too ill it took just one person to say 'Why should it be you that has to  leave the marital home?' So I returned to fight for  it and he walked off with the bulk of my grandmother's modest legacy  straight into another woman's house!

    The reason I tell this story is to demonstrate how I'd  totally lost myself, my history and what was going on around me.  It was like waking up in foreign world where I was zombified and deluded and living in a fantazy - I was sh*t scared no mistake - being told for 22yrs ' Nobody's going to put up with you - You're a terrible person etc etc ' I believed every word!   But I took the plunge and took  charge of my own life - started therapy - frankly getting shot of him was the easiest part - it was starting to work on my past that proved the hardest part - But making my own decisions I finally freed myself - Even a research psychologist interviewed last New Year's Eve stated that we should steer clear of psychiatrists and psychologists and rely on self help groups instead and retain our autonomy!!  And CBT unfortunately cannot sort out a troubled past it only acts as a sticking plaster - drugs do similar and better to face the fear and trace back what in fact triggered it - I truly believe that almost the worst condition we can suffer from is low self worth because I know I was a sitting duck to anyone coming along that planned to use and /or abuse me. And I just took it till I started working on myself recognising I just didn't deserve ill treatment. I determined to rely on my own strategies to get myself out of the house,  (practise makes perfect) reward myself for doing some tasks that I hated - a film ,  tea and cake in a cafe - Nobody was going to come and drag me out - commit myself to something worthwhile e.g. volunteering - an independant cinema needs helpers -

    A foreign /asian womens group require help - A Saturday cafe held in a local Quakers meeting house requires assistance -  You can do it I know you can -

    it just needs one step at a time, one little success - getting your foot over that doorstep - Many tiny steps turn into a walk to freedom and feeling good about yourself - We all have days and the shakes - churning etc and end up feeling like we've taken 3 steps back on a rubbish day  -Affirmations in the mirror 'Everyday in Every Way Things Are Getting Better and Better!  xx

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