How far is down

Hi David,

I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time, I really feel for you. There doesn’t seem to be much you can do at this point, you can try choosing what option you’d like best and then try to work towards that but that just seems like an impossible choice to make, so if you don’t choose a preferred outcome all that’s left is for you to be honest on both Tuesday and Thursday and then just let things run their course and see what’s in store for you.

You’ll be in my thoughts on Thursday (and I’ll remember because I too will be seeing a doctor – different type tho) I really hope things work out as best as they can for you! Hang in here, it'll be okay : )

Peace and love

Anya ❤️

HI Dave

I understand you Dave.  We can all take your advice as I have you pegged as a wise owl.  You have dished out very important information and I for one appreciate that.  Perhaps you need to take your own medicine.  You know what to do, what the roads are and what the consequences are.  C'mon Dave get up and smell the roses...I have faith in you to deal with this.    Put this in its right place.... it was just a sh*tty weeek...thats all.  Lots ov love xx

Hi Dave,

I think where you are is a natural progession of learning how to deal with the illness you have. I think it has taken me a long long time, and getting past a lot of denial, to accept that my illness will always put limitations on my life. There is a famous writer, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., whose son is bipolar. His son said once, there is one definition of a good life - having a chronic illness and always taking care of it. I thought that was a really good attitude! 

If I have a lot of stress, I do become ill again, despite my meds. In fact, if other physical things are wrong, like anemia, I also get depressed again. Despite my meds. So it is a chronic illness, and I think the longer you have it, the better you get at taking care of it, taking care of yourself. And therefore taking care of your family.

I think this must be really on your mind. I know as a man, you feel the weight of a lot of responsibility regarding your wife and child. I am sorry if this is getting a little personal. I don't want to intrude. I've just recently been in contact with a young man who is gradually coming to terms with his own illness, and these are the kinds of things I have been hearing from him. It might have no bearing on you.

But Dave, if things get a little rough right now with your family, if you end up leaving, or your wife leaving, that still leaves a lot of time in the future for things to knit back together. Not as they were, but surely better - because they will be knit together to include the fact of your illness. Which is reality. Which is a lot better, for you, and your child especially, than denial. So please hold on. And have faith. 

As for money, I am kinda up against it myself! Another reality I am not too good at. But getting better. 

Let it take the time it needs. Recently I have been thinking ' There is no transformation - there is only becoming'. 

I know when your mind is under pressure, all kinds of horrible thoughts and feelings come up, and I don't think my words can help too much, nor would they help me much in a bad situation. Probably things wll be hard until your deadline is passed. But try your best to stay in the moment. And treat yourself well. And give yourself positive self-talk, of course recriminations will come up, but I try to lable them 'negative thoughts' and let their loudness fade. And I purposely make positive statements to myself, 'you are doing well'. "You are coping well with a difficult situation'. 

There is a lot of future out there past the next week. And it can have a lot of wellness in it. Best wishes to you.

All you will be pleased to know that my mood has lifted (the worry is still there but that's normal for everybody) and despite my down day I am back on the journey 😃🙏❤️

Well done Dave