How long do i leave it before i go for help?

Posted , 7 users are following.

I'm 23 and have had anxiety all my life, but only started to become very bad at 21 with physical symptoms like chest pain etc. 

When I was 21, when i first realised i had anxiety, i pushed through and said i wont let it beat me, and i was anxiety free after about 2 months. But then such things like noticing a dodgy mole, getting stomach cramps, chest pain etc always brought it back with doctor visits etc. Now 2 years on and my anxiety is as strong as ever, but i'm adamant i don't want to go on medicine, i want to do it myself but at the minute it's got me by the scruff of the neck. I've only just come back from Las Vegas, so I think my anxietys worse at the minute coming back from such a holiday to reality of work every day and days just passing by. 

When i first got diagnosed with anxiety i told my girlfriend, but it was hard on her with me ringing her up with a different self diagnosis every week. So I just stopped speaking to her about it, as far as shes concerned it doesn't affect me day to day but it does, a lot. If i ever get bad anxiety I go to hers and it helps a lot, i don't speak to her about it but just been in her company eases the anxiety. Last night I was up till 3:30am having stupid thoughts about how we're all going to die one day, how fast life passes by so fast, how one day we're going to close our eyes and its just going to be black for ever. I was so close to waking her up and telling her I still struggle with anxiety but i didn't, i've woke up this morning feeling a bit better, nights are always worse. 

I'm just wondering how long it is before I go to the doctors and say 'I need help with my anxiety'

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    It is hard to answer. I had anxiety from childhood and it manifested itself as a strong pain in my chest and breathing which was wrongly diagnosed as asthma. these thoughts on the meaning of life I had aswell as im sure everyone thinks about. have you heard of an "existentialist crisis" I feel that might have happened to me and maybe its normal part of life but it can invoke hightenrd anxiety if life is already hard to cope with due to other stressors. its good you have a job and partner to keep you dosyracted but thibgs can only get better by tackling the causes of the anxiety. Anything else is just treating the symptoms. my anxiety did go away. It came back as new different challenges in life came to me. now im going on holiday and dealing with my problems i know that anxiety can be combated by recognising the warning signals in the body that something needs done to deal with the root cause. For me it was hard to figure out what was wrong and maybe a 3rd person like a doctor or counsellor could help give a clue if you are able to be as open as you can. Not feel ashamed as it takes strong person that gets help before things get overwhelming. best wishes. Chris
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    • Posted

      Thanks for the reply. Mine's a bit different I think to existentialist crisis, i'm happy with my life, i don't really worry about having a purpose, i'm just scared it'll go by so fast and then bang it's over with. I was even googling last night whether there's an after life! haha, just so maybe i've got something to look forward to!

      I think anxiety is always going to be a life long illness that peeks its head now and again but that's not to say you can't go years without it which is what i'm aiming to do. People say your 20's are the best time of your life, and im determinded to enjoy them. 

      I've had these thoughts about death from as little as 6 years old, when my cuson who was born with a hole in his heart suddenly died. Apperently i used to play with him a lot and then my mum and dad had to explain i wouldnt seen him again because he'd died, and i didnt take it very well. I would cry some nights to my mum saying I don't want to die, she even had to go in and tell my teacher about it because of how bad i got. 

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  • Posted

    Hi there, I would have to say don't leave it any longer, book an appointment with your gp now.You don't have to suffer alone. If you're really not happy to take medication then that is your choice, there are talking therapies available to you.

    The fact that you say being around you girl friend helps your anxiety tells me that you have a good relationship. I'm sure she wouldn't want you suffering alone, but again who you tell is your choice, but please tell someone and get the help you deserve.

    My main problem is depression, my anxiety is pretty low level by comparison to what you an others describe, but I know how difficult it can be to ask for help when your illness is not visible to others. You deserve some help with this and you are entitled to it.

    Best wishes X

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    • Posted

      I am tempted, it's just trying to work it round so nobody knows. My mum and dad was so worried last time I went through my anxiety stage, i don't want to put them through that again. My girlfriend has got enough on her plate as it is, her dad has cancer and shes just been made redundant so I don't think the time is right to through it on my girlfriend, she would be very understanding still but it wouldn't be fair on her. 

      And yes you're right, its hard when it's not visible to anybody. Before I got officially diagnosed with anxiety I thought it was just like where you get nervous now and again, i never knew it was such a complicated illness with so many physical symptoms, it took me a while to accept that what i was going through was anxiety not so scary disease.

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  • Posted

    It is not uncommon for 15 and 16 year olds to seek help, so unless you have a specific problem with it why delay?

    Try to remember that there is no shame in admitting that we are sick - it is not as though we welcomed it into our lives.

    These things arrive unexpectedly and uninvited out of the blue, and generally need to 'be shown the door' before they will go.

    To do this successfully you will probably need medical help.

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    • Posted

      I guess my main worry is affecting people around me, like i said to Justmemyself, my mum and dad was so worried last time I had bad anxiety, i don't want to put them through it again. I've put them through me going for checks on my heart, going for checks on things where i think i've got cancer, theyve been through enough with out me telling them im off through therapy, i want them to think im fine and that im better. Then my girlfriend has her own problems too, but when she knew about my anxiety she said I should go speak to somebody, I had two sessions with a private psychiatrist but that was it.
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    • Posted

      Hello again GYDA, thanks for your reply.

      I can understand your concerns about not worrying you parents, but as a parent I can honestly say that being a parent means being actively involved in the welfare of our children, and I really feel that your parents would want to know how difficult things are for you at the moment, and would appreciate the opportunity to support you through it.

      Having a problem with any mental health issue is not a shameful thing, but it does need the assistance of everyone around to lend their support in getting it sorted out.

      I have to say that in my opinion you are being extemely brave, but maybe your attempt at keeping everything a secret is the wrong thing to do.

      If it was any other condition, such as a broken arm or leg, then you would not just hobble around without getting it fixed - of course not, you would enlist the help of those round you to get you to the hospital for treatment as soon as possible.

      Because people cannot actually see a mental health issue does not mean that it is not real, not there, not a reality and doesn't need attention as quickly as possible, because it does.

      So my advice to you is to be as open and honest with your parents as you can be, and ask them for their support in helping you to get fixed without you having to endure any more suffering.

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  • Posted

    Avoid caffiene like the plague (and any stimulants in the second half of the day), look into supplementing certain things such as good quality / varied minerals... magnesium in particular can be huge!

    Use F.lux / blue-blocking glasses at night-time for screens and/or artificial lighting. The blue in the visible light spectrum tricks our brains into thinking it is constantly day-time and thus not produce the cascade of hormones (melatonin etc) that helps us to get to sleep, and have a restful/deep sleep.

    Wheat and other intolerances can also be big in this regard. Look into the "paleo" diet, which is basically just a scientific framework for listening to your body/mind in terms of lifestyle and diet. Wheat (and most other grains), dairy and legumes/nightshades can be common intolerances. Grains for example contain certain starches and proteins that can cause problems (WGA / gluten) and though the debate is on for which is actually causing these problems... there is no need to include them in your diet... either way, try excluding all grains from your diet for 30-60 days and then re-introduce them if you wish to and they don't cause you problems.

    Anxiety (imho) can be a good thing... it won't seem like it at the time, perhaps ever to some people... but it truly forces people to look at important issues they are resisting (spiritual or life questions we rarely face). Another great tool for anxiety and general well-being is meditation.

    Good luck...  and don't hesitate to reply/message me smile Take care

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  • Posted

    I suggest to go and see your doctor.
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  • Posted

    Please do go to the docs....

    Might be some Mindfulness courses in your area....there is a really good book that will help with anxiety...called Mindfulness finding peace in a Frantic World, by Mark Williams and Danny Penman....get it from Amazon....or Thrive by Rob Kelly....

    Worth a go....if medication doesn't work then try meditation...my doctor is very supportive...and a counsellor recommended the books.......Thinking of you, J

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  • Posted

    Judith's post seems like a good way to go, she seems to have some insight into this. As for what you said about putting your parents through alot, I'm a parent and it kinda goes with the territory. You sound like a very caring guy, but I'm pretty sure your loved ones will want to care for you but I understand where you're coming from. A doctor or counceller has no emotional attachment to you and are trained to help. I have counselling for my depression and it is a relief because you can say how you truely feel without worrying about how they will feel. I found this to be really helpful. Also there is no judgement as they understand how these kinds of illnesses work and develop. You sound like a strong person and I think with a little help you can gain a little control back.

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