How to cope with Eczema Herpeticum. Please help :(

TLDR: If you know about this strain of hsv1 please help and please tell me how you cope and how (if in future i somehow get married) to stop it from spreading to someone else (i get spots on my chest even when not having the massive outbreak depicted)?

I have been suffering this for over a year out of the blue. I haven't been in contact with anyone, the only thing i did was a ju jitsu class in 2019 where i think i must have picked this up. I had my first major outbreak in july 2020 when i started dieting (I gained excessive weight in the covid period due to stress and exams). I don't get other symptoms of sweats, fever, or any illness so i can't predict it. My outbreaks are excessively bad and soul destroying, I sometimes contemplate whether my existence is necessary in these moments.

has anyone got this disease? how do i cope mentally and physically? can i never lose weight? I can't take it anymore, my gp said i have to wait another week to speak with them, i don't know how long it will take to refer me and after being referred to dermatologists who said it wouldn't come back I'm worried I'll be referred to someone again who knows nothing of this rare virus considered a "dermatological emergency".

here's an image of the third outbreak i had, which was all over my armpits, inner arms, groin area, back and chest. I've now seen a vesicle on my hand but I'm not dieting now so i don't know what to do. please help. I feel like my life is over before it's started. i just want some coping mechanisms and knowledgeable from a specialist or someone who has this virus and has surpassed it. I've read around online info, take lysine every day and if i feel or see any itching at all i take aciclovir which i bought online or valacyclovir if i can get refferred it which is only 10 tablets so i don't want to use them unless a major one happens.

any help would be greatly appreciated

thank you for your time.

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