How to cope with herpes at a young age

Hi Niya . I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think I may have herpes and I’m 24. We have a hurricane coming and my appointment isn’t until next Monday. After hours of googling I’m sure I have it. I hope someone experienced with all this can provide you with an answer. Hell im sure I’ll need the advice myself. Don’t be so down on yourself.❤️

Hi Niya,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I was diagnosed at 23 years old so I understand being young and feeling like your future is ruined. Educate yourself on genital herpes, know the facts, and when it comes to disclosing to a partner you will be able to share them the info to ease their mind. At the end of the day it’s just an annoying skin condition with a bad stigma. The stigma starts with yourself if you accept it and don’t see yourself as being “dirty” then other people won’t either. Guys love confidence and openess and I find guys are way more accepting of me when I disclose. Of course there will be some rejection, but they aren’t worth your time anyways. Someone is going to be with you for YOU, not your body or for sex. You are the same person you were before you got herpes, nothing has changed about you minus the fact that casual sex is harder because you need to disclose. I would get put on daily antivirals if you want to have casual sex, it helps both your partner and you havs a piece of mind since the transmission rate is less than 1% in a whole YEAR if you take daily antivirals, use condoms, and don’t have sex during outbreaks. I promise this isn’t a life sentence, you’ll be okay! Message me if you have any questions  

Hi ladies, I’m so sorry your both going through this. I’m 32 and in March I was diagnosed. It was very very hard for me to come to terms with it at first. But, then I got over my first ob and I kind of forgot that I had it. I thought that my life was over, I cried and cried, I wasn’t eating. I was just so upset. But I promise it gets easier. And eventually you completely forget that you even have it. Just remember that there are so many worse things in this world then this. I promise you will be okay! ♥️

Hey, Niya, I just wanted to let you know that I’m the exact same age as you. I was diagnosed about a month or two ago. It’s not easy hearing “hey, this is herpes.” But it’s not a big deal. We all go through these emotions at first and don’t feel like we can cope with them but life does go on. I’m still dating, still having sex (protected of course) and still in school. The biggest aspect of herpes is the mental part I think. Everybody understands how you feel. None of us want this stupid disease, but at the end of the day millions and billions of people have it, some don’t even know, and guess what? It’s just a skin condition. Do not let this destroy you, you’re better than that. You will still have a normal life and eventually, if you take care of yourself, you may sometimes forget you even have it. It’s a part of you, but it doesn’t define you. You’re not alone in fighting this. Look at how many people post on this forum everyday? More and more people are getting infected with it. I promise that there are gonna be people who look at you when you tell them and say “oh, that’s all?” And if they react differently, then maybe they should be tested for it too because many, many people, probably a lot of people you know too have contracted this disease. In ways it can be a blessing. You’re more careful about who you share your body with, you’re more caring because of it (at least I am towards other people, it would kill me to spread it to someone), you’re less judgmental because you realize it could happen to ANYONE, it weeds out the bad guys, and you learn to listen to your body and know what it wants and how to care for it. Now I’m sure that that doesn’t make everything better, and I’m sure you don’t understand this right now but you will eventually. There are much better treatments coming around for HSV that may lower transmission even more. But for right now, join support groups. Learn your body and your triggers of what can cause outbreaks. Tell a loved one and confide in them. A friend who doesn’t judge you helps. There’s no need to tell the whole world, but I know family can be very supportive. If you’re not on an antiviral, pick up some lysine. It’ll stop you from getting outbreaks so often. Figure out which foods you can and which foods you shouldn’t eat. Knowledge is power. And don’t feel ashamed. It spreads skin to skin contact. It happens that easily and not even condoms can help that all the time. And for sex, always ALWAYS use condoms. Know the risks and inform your partner of the risks. Know that female to male transmission is very low and that with condoms and an antiviral if that’s what you prefer, you should be fine. Most of all, let yourself feel it. It’s ok to feel ashamed, but remember, you have no shame in this. It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to get depressed. But what it’s not okay is to let this stupid skin condition to win. You let yourself win every time. We’re in this together. I wish you the best, Niya. Life isn’t over. In your twenties, it’s just starting. Persevere through this ❤️

Hi Niya,

I totally understand how you feel. I was diagnosed at 18! I was depressed for months. I stayed on sites like this for encouragement, and guess what!! It was my saving grace. I didn’t know how I was going to live like this for the rest of my life. There was so much to learn, I had so many concerns.. and of course it sucks. Honestly, it saved me from a lot of things I COULD have gotten myself into. It made me more responsible, I had to make some really tough decisions in my life because of my Herpes diagnosis, but I can honestly say, it made me make the best decisions of my life. I’m married, have 2 boys and doing really well for myself. Another fun fact: There’s love, life and fun after being diagnosed! Your the SAME person. Don’t let this stop you from moving forward in life. If you want to talk. You can message me! And I have a forum if you need words of encouragement!