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Apologies in advance, this ended up being really long, and more of a rant than a question, but any advice is really appreciated. (I'm also not sure if I'm posting this in the right place?)
I need some tips on how to deal with hypochondriasis. I deal with anxiety and panic attacks, and constantly worrying over whether I'm going to die or not is making everything a lot worse.
Since December 22nd, I've been to the hospital four times, and they can find nothing wrong with me. But no matter how much searching on the Internet I do to prove myself wrong, I'm always sure I have some kind of disease. I also feel really bad because I'm always trying to get my mom to take me to the hospital because 'I think I'm having a stroke/have appendicitis/have dementia'. Right now, I'm convinced I have leukemia. My physical anxiety symptoms are similar to leukemia symptoms, and even though I can find more connection to anxiety than cancer, I'm in tears because I think i'm dying.
I'm not sure if anxiety can cause breathlessness all the time, even when I'm not having an attack, or if anxiety causes headaches and stomach aches, or muscle aches. Or if it can cause pain and tenderness in your ribs. I think may have a sinus infection. I've been having a pain in my lower right side and abdomen, around my hip bone, for a long time - I thought it was appendicitis at first. I've been having a lot more trouble concentrating, and I'm pretty sure my memory is a lot worse than before.
Like I said, I've been to the hospital four times, I've had a blood test that said everything was fine, when I thought I was having a stroke, the doctor did some tests and everything was fine. But that blood test was from around the beginning of January. And I have no idea if leukemia suddenly appeared after that blood test. I wanna get another one, but I don't know if that'll change anything.
I usually blame all my symptoms on anxiety, but whenever I experience something new or am just worried, I end up blaming my symptoms on something that probably isn't likely. I really wanna blame everything on anxiety, but right now I'm so scared I'm in tears and posting my fears online. I don't know what to do about this, I just want to be able to go one day without thinking 'this is it, I'm dead, there's nothing I can do because I have some symptoms of a deadly disease. May as well start saying goodbye to everyone because these are my final hours.'
I'm only 14 and I probably shouldn't be posting here, but I don't know how else to calm down. I have an appointment for next month to see if my physical symptoms could be something else. I'm just so scared, I don't know what else to do. I just wanna know that everything's gonna be okay.
Thank you for reading, and thank you in advance for any advice!
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