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How to deal with suspected onset of dementia

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stefania3
stefania3

My mother will be 89 next month and for some months I've suspected that she's got the onset of dementia.  I live with her and have been witness to her very sudden foul mood changes.  Also, if I say the slightest thing different, I'm blamed for being 'against' her and she then sulks for a few days.  She also refuses wearing a hearing aid and glasses.  I'm finding this very difficult to cope with and am also unsure how to react.  Can anyone advise me what to do?  Thanks.

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • RonTexan
    RonTexan stefania3

    Posted

    Just my two cents from experience with several family menbers with dementia; if your mother is 89 then you are probably upper middle-aged as well. I have seen family members very adversely affected by careing for an aged parent.  You had best be concerned for your own health as well, caring for an aged loved one can be devestating. It is not just your mother's well-being that matters, yours does too. Don't bear the burden alone.   
  • Ginagirl
    Ginagirl stefania3

    Posted

    Speak to your GP ask for an assessment to be carried out by a Psychiatric/Geriatrician Consultant or specialist for the Elderly.. see if you can get her included in a Day Hospital locally so she can mix with people her own age for the day .. for a Luncheon ONCE A WEEK GIVE YOU SOME SPARE TIME.

    Please try and understand that when these MOODS happen it can be very frustrating for her this will be cerebral agitation and a lack of Dopamine, she may need medicating which may improve the condition..remember she was young like you once, nobody likes to think their youth is slipping away from them..dont treat her like a naughty child it is intimidating.. be patient with her tell her you love her and present her with flowers and the odd tea out in the car, speak of things she would remember in your childhood even hers she will remember these things easily. Get the Old Photos out, this will please her a lot. ..Play her favourite music from her courting days..She is Your Mother and you only get one! she will be objective about hearing aids and glasses! even eating when you want her to, ask her first ..say it in a way which will humour her ..Dont tell her! this is very common this reaction, and presenting to her she is getting old with little future and a narrow life in her Winter years. If she is agressive it is the condition not your Mother , she will not be totally in control of her faculties..

    Hard work.. but I wish I still had my Mother she died at 67.

    Good Luck.

  • stefania3
    stefania3

    Posted

    Many thanks for your comments Ron and Dawn.  Yes Ron, I am concerned about my own health as well, as I've already battled cancer and now suffer from Graves Disease.  Dawn, I do try to humour her, but sometimes it is very difficult, as I've suffered verbal abuse and been vilified when she's in one of her "moods".  She's also not at all sociable and won't mix with anyone or go anywhere now.  I will try and see if I can get her GP in for a check-up, as I certainly can't mention anything like that.
    • Ginagirl
      Ginagirl stefania3

      Posted

      But you have to understand she it is the condition that makes her do this its a chemical imbalance in the Brain.. and I have looked after many like this ..Agressive and hit out.. then Butter wouldnt melt next minute they are smiling at you and holding your hand.  Sad condition Dementia.. The GP should send a Community Nurse to do an assessment on her. I she wont mix then she suffers Anxiety perhaps and depression from the Low Mood. Not her fault.. 

      Sorry to hear of your condition Graves Disease and other Medical issues ..perhaps you need much more professional help& support to assist you.. with Nursing Needs of you Mother. It is not an easy job ..You are talking to someone who worked in the Profession for many years in a Geriatric Hospital befor they closed them all. I have Qualifications ENB 941/ 998 RGN Dip He.

      Best of Luck!

    • stefania3
      stefania3 Ginagirl

      Posted

      Hello Dawnregina,  I don't think that my mother would allow anyone in to help her - she thinks she's alright.  We're just going through a very bad patch again and quite frankly I don't know how to react: I was returning on Friday from a day outing, and phoned her twice, lastly to let her know that I could be back later than my expected time of return. due to traffic.  I was 5 minutes late and the greeting I received on my return was aggressiv and then she was slamming doors.  I then wrote things down about how I felt for her to read but she tore it up and threw it out of the window.  How should I react?  She's still sulking and not talking. 
  • Ginagirl
    Ginagirl stefania3

    Posted

    All Normal.. some of her character coming through! frustration! a lack of dopamine in the Brain. Dont give it too much creedence ..She will forget quickly ..like a child in its actions. Not her fault!
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