How to deal with the change?

Hi hun please dont feel like this you are not dirty i was diagnosed in november iv been with my partner for nearly 5 years and didnt have sexual contact with him for about 3 months before i had my outbreak

Luckily he was really good and came with me and spoke to them about it and we kind of figured out how id got it.....from him he suffered with coldsores when he was younger and gave me the virus through oral sex but i got type 2 chances are i have gave him type 2 but he already has antibodies againt the virus so may never have an outbreak.

Im sure your mum would be very understanding and wont be disgusted in you it is best to talk to her i promise it will feel alot better if you do it will be a huge weight lifted off you so you dont feel so alone i understand your worried about how people might look at you as there is so much stigma surrounding the virus but its honestly not that bad you need to deal with it mentally before realising that though although its not curable it is very easily managable

Please talk to someone you can trust it will make you feel better and when you are feeling down you will have someone to talk to about it

I hope you feel better soon hun but its not too bad theres people out there that have alot worse then worse then this xx

Hello TLGirl12,

I am sorry to read you are feeling down. I understand.

I suggest only the same as what pixie1989 says, and that is you speak with a family member about your situation. Or try and look elsewhere within your friends, as it is sometimes funny where you find real friends.

There is a helpline you can call to discuss things provided by the Herpes Virus Association, as the nurse told me about it when I gave blood for tests. Look them up and give them a call.

And keep in touch via this forum, as I have found real help and advice from kind people on this forum.

Hi ladies,

I'm mum to an 18 year old daughter who was diagnosed on Monday. Firstly I'd like to say that this forum is brilliant and its helped me so much already. I know it's hard to tell people that you have GH. I'm lucky as my daughter told me she was worried about her symptoms and we went to the clinic together. I would advise you to tell your mum; hopefully you have a good relationship and she will only want to help and support you. She WILL not think you're dirty... You're unlucky that's all. Like my daughter has been unlucky, all I want to do is show her that she's still beautiful, still one of the best things that ever happened to me and most of all, I still love and always will. Because generally that's what mums do! Our love is unconditional and I hope you can find the courage to tell your mum, or somebody else who you trust completely.

But, if you can't do that, we are all here, talk to us, we will not judge you because whether its somebody who has GH or a parent, friend who is supporting another, we are all affected to some degree.

Please feel free to message me, I really feel your pain and understand how you're feeling.

This isn't the end of the world, it will probably present challenges, but as you live with GH, you'll find the strength to deal with it..

You can talk to your GP in confidence or staff at the clinic, please don't let this bring you down. It will feel better, hopefully soon.

Xx

Apologies, hello ladies and gentleman.

Xx

Hi TLGIRL,

I was diagnosed 2 months ago and have gone through these same feelings. It helped me to know that approximately 1 in 4 people have it. We're not freaks, it's just not something that's shared openly.

I understand feeling gross, but the first outbreak of herpes is the longest and the most violent. I had a particularly long first outbreak (over 5 weeks) and the whole time it was going on I just felt so ashamed and awful. Now that it's almost gone I'm feeling more human and able to think a bit more calmly about it.

I'd say tell somebody. Just being able to talk it over with someone feels like a huge weight is taken off. People who love you will always support you. And we're here if you're not ready yet

Hi ya'll!

I was diagnosed a little over a year ago. Honestly your internal anguish, gets better over time, so hang in there! Like the saying goes, "time heals all wounds" and I promise you that this is true. You will learn what your triggers are and ways to heal outbreaks. It does take time but stay positive, take good care of your health, sleep well, eat well and be as stress free as you possibly can.

I absolutely agree with the above posters, that YOU HAVE to talk to SOMEONE about this. I too had all the same hurtful feelings. It took me two days before I told my mom (yes I live in the US lol). My mom and I, have always been close but don't discuss my sex life with her. She knew something wasn't right with me and asked me what was going on. I just broke down in tears. She actually shared an experience of her own, when she was a teen and it honestly brought us even closer! Next I told my best friend and believe me that was no easy task. She is an old fashion kind of gal who has never had ANY issues downstairs and thinks yeast infections are detestable, let alone genital herpes. Again the experience brought us even closer too! I felt the weight of the world lifted of my shoulders and decided I was no longer going to sit around and sulk in my own misery. I became proactive!

I'm not sure if Valtrex is available in the UK but I highly recommend it. It not only suppresses the virus but it prevent spreading it too! I've had tremendous results from taking it!

To the mum on here, God bless you and thank you so much for sharing with us! Hearing from a mother on here is EXACTLY what this forum needed. Many girls on here have said they were scared to tell their mother so I truly hope your words of wisdom will give them the security they need to open up! I'm a mother too but my girls are only 2 & 5. Reading your post made me all teary eyed lol.

Thanks to all of you for sharing and please stay strong. Keep being that beautiful woman you have always been. If a man thinks less of you over this then he is not worthy of you. You must believe that. Don't EVER let anything take away your self worth.

Hello again,

Thank you all for sharing your stories, I took the first step and told my best friend and she was very supportive. I cried a little to release the sadness. I just want to live a better life and be a better person. I went to the gym this morning and I have to say it helped.

To the mum, you encourage me to tell my mum but I honestly think she'll judge me ( that's just how she is) but that's such a beautiful thing you're supporting your daughter. It is a very difficult thing to deal with. I think the hardest thing is I have GH and I barely know who I am. Now I'm soul searching. I don't want to talk to anyone, or date, I just want to do better.

Thank you to all of you. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I needed someone to tell me it'll be ok. Are there ways you ladies dealt with being diagnosed? Singing? Dancing? Boxing? I don't know. I just want to release my anger and move forward the best way I can. For a while I was miserable but I guess I had an epiphany and I want to move forward a live my life, Happy. I'm just so young and I know age doesn't matter but I'm feel lost. I'm reading the bible, something I never did. Trying to find myself through the heartache seems to be the hardest part but I know it's possible. This Forum is the first step that I actually like. Because we're all going through the same thing. Thank you XO

Hi all, me again....(mum to daughter with GH)

It's lovely to read your posts and see some positive stuff. It makes me realise that my daughter can move on and get through this crappy time. She's doing pretty well right now, almost back to her bright, loud, vibrant self... Although I don't really know what's going on in her head. I have told her that I'm talking to you on here, and I hope that she may join this forum if and when she's good and ready. At the moment it's helping me stay positive which helps me and her.

She's so beautiful, inside and out, and I just want her life to be perfect because that's what she deserves.

For those who have kids, you know what I mean, and for those who don't, you will know one day!!

Goodnight all, sleep tight, I hope that tomorrow is a good day for you. Xx

Lst night I went into the ER because I was having severe discomfort in the vaginal area.

The doctor told me it looked like herpes. I will be getting my official results back tomorrow.

It's hard to deal with. Im 23 years old and 7 months pregnant. I also have a 2 year old son im worried about passing it to.

I've been with the same man for over a year. He has gotten cold sores on his mouth since he was a child, but I never thought about it spreading to me via poral. He is very supportive and apologetic.

I was given lidocaine jelly to spread down there, but after reading everything im nervous since ive just been rubbing it all over (since everything is uncomfortable) and wiping instead of blot drying. And Im worried that im making it worse and it will spread sores everywhere.

I really need someone to talk to. Im scared.

Lst night I went into the ER because I was having severe discomfort in the vaginal area.

The doctor told me it looked like herpes. I will be getting my official results back tomorrow.

It's hard to deal with. Im 23 years old and 7 months pregnant. I also have a 2 year old son im worried about passing it to.

I've been with the same man for over a year. He has gotten cold sores on his mouth since he was a child, but I never thought about it spreading to me via poral. He is very supportive and apologetic.

I was given lidocaine jelly to spread down there, but after reading everything im nervous since ive just been rubbing it all over (since everything is uncomfortable) and wiping instead of blot drying. And Im worried that im making it worse and it will spread sores everywhere.

I really need someone to talk to. Im scared.

Hi 25464,

Try not to worry until you get your results, if its GH there are plenty of people who can help you.

It's scary when you first find out, my daughter was diagnosed on Monday; I spent most of that day crying but a few days on, we are both feeling better. My daughter is younger than you and no longer in a relationship. We all have different worries about GH, I worry about the impact on future relationships and how she will deal with the challenges ahead.

When we visited the clinic, she was given lots of info, part of this related to GH in pregnancy; I understand that preventative medication is given prior to delivery to minimise the risk of the infection being passed o to the baby during birth. Also GH (as far as I understand) can only be transmitted by sexual contact so passing this onto your son won't happen. You can't get it from toilet seats, towels or bath water as the virus can't survive for long outside the body. There are many people on here you have lived with GH for much longer so they will probably be far more educated on the subject than I am. I'm still learning about it so I can help my daughter.

I hope your diagnosis is negative, but even if its positive, this really isn't the end of the world. You have a partner who sounds very supportive, accept his support and seek advice from others you really trust.

Wishing you luck with everything. Xx