How to get rid of anxiety?

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I have so much on my mind that I must apologise because this may get quite lengthy! I have been struggling with anxiety for about 5 years now and I feel like it is getting worse not better. I remember the moment it first started, I was on a girls holiday in Spain and we'd partied quite hard all week and then one evening I had to force myself out when I really didn't want to because I was still feeling poorly from the previous night. When we got home a week later I was invited out on the weekend and suddenly this overwhelming panic came over me, I forced myself out and I did have a good time but the fear was quite disturbing. The anxiety has gotten so bad now that I have lost all my friends because I was always on edge if we went out so ruined their night or ended up making myself sick with anxiety that I couldn't go and have to cancel. I don't see the point in trying to make new friends now because friends mean having to put myself in situations I don't feel comfortable in. I also fear that by having friends I open myself up to getting hurt and having suffered at the hands of bullies as a teenager this is also a big thing for me.

I am able I to work a full time job, drive a car and fly to Greece by myself for a holiday. So in many ways I am doing ok but I fear that in my current situation I will never be able to sustain a relationship and have children of my own which to be honest really upsets me. 6 years ago I was at University, in a long term relationship and had lots of friends and I just don't understand where I can get myself back. My parents won't be here forever to spend time with me and it is important that I start building my life back up again.

I tried hypnosis which worked in getting my confidence levels up but not in removing the anxiety. I went to my GP and he gave me beta blockers to slow my heart down but nothing is working. I took up running, I eat healthily, cut down caffeine. Please tell me what I can do to feel better!

I have a works do arranged on Friday, I am petrified. I can barely eat or sleep out of fear and I still have a few days to go before it. What can I do?

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    I would try some therapy,there is no pill which will keep anxiety at bay for long I'm afraid

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  • Posted

    Forst have you researched what anxiety disorder even is. Hooefully that is a yes. Forget about going backeards to your old self. Waste if time. You will have a new you and live it just the same or more. You basically have a oanic disorder withiut agoraohobia. Still its a oanic disorder just the same and needs to be addressed. Are you in therapy? There are different types so you know. A panic disorder is basically a fear illness so yea you feel fear a lot. But dint get tricked you do not need to add on that. That makes it worse. I will tell you why it feels as if it is getting worse. You are programming yourself in a bad way. Making anxiety rules basically. Your minds language is thiughts and your bodies language is feelings. Stop and think about that. Two different parts of the brain. Now everytime you "react" to a negative thiught with a feeling you creat a connection, a short cut, a reaponse that your body and mind rememeber and rememeber it fast and faster each time. Unless you interevene in that you are in for it. years of this is a lot of programming and many bad habits and shortcuts have formed. So now..cbt is useful u can get a workbook online and review that. If you like it get real cbt sessions with a counselor. Therapist are usful to keeo your sanity intact and point out useful calm techniques there are tons and tins. This goes to moderation if we use too many names and such. Books and podcast galore on self help on  retraining the brain and healing your life from anxiety. Thats for you too really so a search.  Because all this is based in thoughts and feeling yiu need to keep reminding yourself of the positives and that the anxiety doesnt get to boss you around. You have to acceot it, acknowledge but not react to it. You have a panic attack let it ride itself thru remove your mind by doing mindful breathing. Thats in utube. If you learn anything at all learn mindfull breathing. Its fantastic. There is no magic list to give you its different for everyone. It is what resonates  with you. This is slow slow healing process of constantly being aware of your thoughts and bidy feelings and dismantling them into a positive thing or a useless feeling that you need to say no too. Heirachy of thinking is the only armour you get in all this. Its powerful. Your automatic responses are not working correctly from the disorder and from you feeding into it all this time. You cant rewrd the anxiety bully with responding by running with it and fearing it..thats a reward. If someone walked over to you and said you are in danger because i think you are and then hit you in the face would you be sitting there agreeing with this oerson? No. Thats a bully. So is anxiety. Think about that. Good luck and  be patient. 

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  • Posted

    Sorry abt the typos. When i tried to fix them it kept restarting.
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  • Posted

    Make an appointment with your GP to discuss your anxiety. Sending you away with pills only will not be the answer.

    Ask to discuss councilling and cognative behavioural therapy CBT. Say that you would like to try this first.

    If you are making yourself ill thinking about the works do, then simply make your appologies and cancel. The sooner the better.

    If you have taken up running see if there is a running club/group near you that you could join and make new friends. Look at ways you can meet new friends.

    CBT will give you techniques to help relax you and help allieviate your anxiety so that you can enjoy life again. Wishing you well.

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your response. My doctor has recently retired so I'm finding it difficult to approach the new doctor even though they probably have a new more modern approach to my troubles than my previous doctor who fobs me off with pills. Maybe I will go private and try CBT as a few people have recommended this to me this evening.

      As for the works do it's unavoidable as they are closing the office at 1 and going from work so unless I call in sick Friday I guess I'm going! rolleyes My Dad is the boss and he will be there, he doesn't really understand my issues but is aware I struggle so should be some reassurance.

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  • Posted

    Hi Bella,

    Firstly well done on just sharing your feelings here! I'm new to this forum and know it's not easy putting down stuff even in places no one knows you!

    You are asking what you should do about the works do. Personally I would do whatever feels right for you, and if you feel you don't want to go, and feel obliged to just say you would really love to go but feeling pretty under the weather and maybe another time. But I wanted to address the treatment you are receiving from GP. Have you asked for talking therapies? They can be really beneficial. Once a week. It's a space for you to talk about your feelings with professional guidance and a safe space where you can focus on yourself with no fear of upsetting anyone. Also it's a space where you can find or uncover why you feel and respond to certain things and how to find coping ways to manage unsettling or unhelpful feelings to help you lead the life you want. I'm not anti drugs but don't think for anxiety they are always good enough on their own. Also avoiding sugars/ wheat/ booze - these groups can mess about with our sugar levels, and impact on hormones which really impact on way we feel, how we react, energy v tiredness levels wtx. Stay strong big hugs x

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your comments. I am considering going private for CBT rather than wait 6 weeks for a referral as this has gone on far too long. I am exhausted struggling with things I know will cause me no harm and having nobody who understands me to support me.
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    • Posted

      If your considering private,then I would suggest a psychotherapist for therapy rather than cbt. Cbt is often offered first on the nhs as it's cheap to deliver - but it has quite low success rates. It can work for some, but to be honest it fails more often. Private Psychotherapy typically is about £50 per hour,its worth it though as private therapists tend to be more objective than nhs ones, they aren't concentrating more on the clock than what you say

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  • Posted

    Hi bella72575, I have the exact same problem! I can't believe I've found this forum. I've just started this forum too and I'm glad we have a place to go to. I don't have much friends and if I do I always ask them to come over to my place, because I always hype myself up before an outing and then I don't go, because my anxiety is too much. But then I end up feeling disgusting and bad because I know anxiety again has taken yet some of my freedom.

    CBT does work, but you have to remember it's gonna be hard

    And your not gonna win every battle. I struggle to go grocery shopping that's how bad I am. But take baby steps, just try sitting in a restaurant with one friend or by yourself and see how that works. What ever it takes to make you comfortable do it. I think maybe if you can confide in a friend one day what your problem is maybe they may be helpful. You need to start somewhere. I'm going in for hypnotherapy soon, it may work it may not. But I gotta try. I hope you do well and good luck!

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  • Posted

    Hi there, 

    I would definitely suggest getting a counselling session and discussing what sort of anxiety you have and then maybe going to CBT, it really helped me get out of my pattern of anxiety and has really been the only thing that has worked. 

     

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